Well you know how it goes, mate - Customs officer: G'day, passport please. Man, immigrating to Australia: Cheers. Customs officer: Anything to declare?

Well you know how it goes, mate - Customs officer: G'day, passport please. Man, immigrating to Australia: Cheers. Customs officer: Anything to declare? Man: no, sir. Customs: Do you have a criminal record we should know about? Man: BUGGER! I didn't realise that one is still required here!