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Oh yeah I remember we met on video, you said how the people not chosen would be sent a link to a discord for “everyone else”, then after an email saying you wen

Oh yeah I remember we met on video, you said how the people not chosen would be sent a link to a discord for “everyone else”, then after an email saying you went with someone else you never sent the link to the discord and then ghosted us. I made a mental note to remember that this guy was a liar who only said/did things for his own benefit.

helloplanets 4y ago
Let me get this straight based on the other posts in this thread. You suggested the idea of the other person sending out invites to another server, and he said that he's already on it? And after he did not come up with the invite, he's a liar because he said he was already working on your suggestion but didn't go through with it? Or am I getting this wrong?
YesBox 4y ago
I dont know who you are, but what actually happened was I decided to double the server size and accept way more people than I originally planned (which I am not going to do this time). That gave me a lot of work to do so I'm sorry if I forgot to keep you posted.
- luxuryballs 4y ago
  you immediately blocked on discord after sending the rejection message making it impossible to even say “thank you, good luck” in response, so there was no feasible way to reply or stay in contact or even follow your game, and I remember thinking he’s going to regret treating people this way later on when it comes time to build a community around his game… lesson learned now I hope?
  - YesBox 4y ago
    I just checked my discord and I dont have anyone blocked. I close/leave conversations so I dont clutter my inbox, so maybe discord internally severs the connection? (That would be really good to know moving forward). (edit: I also dont recall "immediately" closing any chats, but I may have?) Anyways, sorry you feel that I wronged you, it really was not my intention. I received over 30 responses last time and it's a lot of work to interview everyone, then video interview them. It looks like you are running a discord yourself and managed to build your own community, which is great. Maybe you have an idea how much work this is, and perhaps you are better at handling this type of work than I am :)
    - wheybags 4y ago
      Discord won't let you dm someone unless you share a server with them (or you're friends with them), so if you just happened to leave the server you shared, it could look like you blocked them.
      - luxuryballs 4y ago
        there was never a shared server, and I expect it was exactly that, a block or a friend removal, DMs worked fine until they suddenly didn't after the "sorry we had only one slot to fill...", but that was hardly the issue (it was the lie about the "other community" invite) and perhaps he was just afraid people would try to argue? it was just a little jarring, after having what seemed like a good faith, face-to-face convo, to write "no problem at all, thanks and good luck on your project, I look forward to..." but it didn't go through because suddenly DMs didn't work anymore
    - bkanber 4y ago
      This type of interaction is exactly why I stopped running communities online. People thrust their expectations upon you and then expect you to do either mental labor to meet those expectations, or emotional labor to make amends for not meeting their expectations that you never consented to in the first place. It burnt me out very quickly.
      - luxuryballs 4y ago
        lol there were no expectations other than those that were presented, we had a face to face call during which I suggested an idea: send discord invites to a secondary server so all the people who didn't fill the open slot could meet up since they were seeking similar connections and later during that same call he literally said "funny you should say that because it turns out that's exactly what I am doing!" but this was a lie or at least immediately forgotten (which is what made the "that was my plan all along" part seem like a lie)
        bkanber 4y ago
satellites 4y ago
I’m sorry that happened to you but this seems like a bit of an overreaction.
- PenguinCoder 4y ago
  When someone shows you who they truly are, believe them.
  - wilg 4y ago
    This is one of my least favorite memes. It does nothing to help you determine whether someone is being genuine and gives you permission to project all your ill will onto them.

helloplanets 4y ago

Let me get this straight based on the other posts in this thread. You suggested the idea of the other person sending out invites to another server, and he said that he's already on it? And after he did not come up with the invite, he's a liar because he said he was already working on your suggestion but didn't go through with it? Or am I getting this wrong?

YesBox 4y ago

I dont know who you are, but what actually happened was I decided to double the server size and accept way more people than I originally planned (which I am not going to do this time). That gave me a lot of work to do so I'm sorry if I forgot to keep you posted.

luxuryballs 4y ago
you immediately blocked on discord after sending the rejection message making it impossible to even say “thank you, good luck” in response, so there was no feasible way to reply or stay in contact or even follow your game, and I remember thinking he’s going to regret treating people this way later on when it comes time to build a community around his game… lesson learned now I hope?
- YesBox 4y ago
  I just checked my discord and I dont have anyone blocked. I close/leave conversations so I dont clutter my inbox, so maybe discord internally severs the connection? (That would be really good to know moving forward). (edit: I also dont recall "immediately" closing any chats, but I may have?) Anyways, sorry you feel that I wronged you, it really was not my intention. I received over 30 responses last time and it's a lot of work to interview everyone, then video interview them. It looks like you are running a discord yourself and managed to build your own community, which is great. Maybe you have an idea how much work this is, and perhaps you are better at handling this type of work than I am :)
  - wheybags 4y ago
    Discord won't let you dm someone unless you share a server with them (or you're friends with them), so if you just happened to leave the server you shared, it could look like you blocked them.
    - luxuryballs 4y ago
      there was never a shared server, and I expect it was exactly that, a block or a friend removal, DMs worked fine until they suddenly didn't after the "sorry we had only one slot to fill...", but that was hardly the issue (it was the lie about the "other community" invite) and perhaps he was just afraid people would try to argue? it was just a little jarring, after having what seemed like a good faith, face-to-face convo, to write "no problem at all, thanks and good luck on your project, I look forward to..." but it didn't go through because suddenly DMs didn't work anymore
  - bkanber 4y ago
    This type of interaction is exactly why I stopped running communities online. People thrust their expectations upon you and then expect you to do either mental labor to meet those expectations, or emotional labor to make amends for not meeting their expectations that you never consented to in the first place. It burnt me out very quickly.
    - luxuryballs 4y ago
      lol there were no expectations other than those that were presented, we had a face to face call during which I suggested an idea: send discord invites to a secondary server so all the people who didn't fill the open slot could meet up since they were seeking similar connections and later during that same call he literally said "funny you should say that because it turns out that's exactly what I am doing!" but this was a lie or at least immediately forgotten (which is what made the "that was my plan all along" part seem like a lie)
      - bkanber 4y ago

satellites 4y ago

I’m sorry that happened to you but this seems like a bit of an overreaction.

PenguinCoder 4y ago
When someone shows you who they truly are, believe them.
- wilg 4y ago
  This is one of my least favorite memes. It does nothing to help you determine whether someone is being genuine and gives you permission to project all your ill will onto them.