I think the 3rd point is different for each person. Some people do like "tough love" - being told that they are in a bad place and need to improve will motivate

I think the 3rd point is different for each person. Some people do like "tough love" - being told that they are in a bad place and need to improve will motivate them. Others, on the other hand, will be pushed further back into the hole by such talk. This is very individual.