> This conflict between what we think we should be like and what we are actually like is the root of the problem. I've seen this conflict a lot in my life and

> This conflict between what we think we should be like and what we are actually like is the root of the problem. I've seen this conflict a lot in my life and appreciate how you described it. I've found I've often been annoyed when I ask someone how they're doing and they say "fine" and I know they're not feeling fine. I realized maybe they're really saying "I want to feel fine." Something about splitting their desired state from their present state helped me.