4 ms·

Oh come on. The author never harassed her caused any harm or did anything she refused. He was a suitor and had a crush. Stalker is a word better used more car

Oh come on. The author never harassed her caused any harm or did anything she refused. He was a suitor and had a crush. Stalker is a word better used more carefully in my opinion, for bad people. Not hopeless romantics perusing hopeless relationships.

actionfromafar 4y ago
While this is true, that's also exactly how stalkers present themselves.
- Maursault 4y ago
  Haven't RTFA, but it is clear neither you nor OP have any idea what stalking is. While it does mean "to approach stealthily," which implies surveilling and following in the context of predator and prey, in the social and criminal sense stalking has a specific meaning which is in the simplest sense to threaten. Any indication in the article that the author had an intent of harassment and intimidation, or threatened a victim with bodily harm or death? Was the author explicitly shunned by the target of his affection and then continued to aggressively pursue her obsessively? No? Then it is not stalking.
  - DoreenMichele 4y ago
    We do not have Susan Brockman's side of this story. We do not know if the contact was deemed unwanted nor if she felt threatened, etc. This was the 1950s and 60s. Women with any career ambition put up with a lot more sexist BS and sexual BS than they typically do today. She may have felt this was an opportunity she could not afford to pass up.
    - Maursault 4y ago
      Right, so we must presume his behavior is criminal until he is proven innocent.
    - bequanna 4y ago
      Ridiculous. Why are you pushing this dreamed up narrative so hard without a single piece of evidence? Do you have personal knowledge of something that isn’t included in this story?
- watwut 4y ago
  Not really? Stalking actions require you to invade privacy or continuing contact when it was unwanted. Stalking is an actual thing.
  - actionfromafar 4y ago
    Are you arguing stalkers present themselves as "hi, I invade privacy and continue contact when unwanted"?
    - watwut 4y ago
      I am saying this article is not how stalkers represent themselves. I am saying that article does not contain stalking actions either.
DoreenMichele 4y ago
Not hopeless romantics perusing hopeless relationships. Let me reframe that: If there is no hope she will ever say "yes", he knows that and pursues her anyway, he is a stalker, not a hopeless romantic.
- throwawaylinux 4y ago
  That's just not what stalking means. It's a pretty serious crime with a real definition, not just "I don't like somebody" or "they hurt my feelings" or whatever. You're free to call it creepy or frightening or anything else, it's just not what stalking is though. You've made up your own definition of the word.
  - DoreenMichele 4y ago
    According to the US DOJ: The term “stalking” means engaging in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for his or her safety or the safety of others or suffer substantial emotional distress. https://www.justice.gov/ovw/stalking https://www.justice.gov/ovw/stalking At some point, someone told me (to my surprise -- they were rebutting some comment I made online) that horror movies tend to have mostly female audiences. A lot of horror movies have plot lines that sound a fair amount like stalking or some exaggerated fantasy version of stalking. A lot of women suffer substantial emotional distress and fear for their own safety due to the behavior of men they know who will not give it a rest. Men tend to be bigger than women, outweigh them, have a strength advantage, are more likely to have combat training or martial arts classes, etc. One article I read years ago indicated that when asked what they most feared from a woman, men feared being laughed at. Women feared being killed (by men). Men may not be comfortable hearing that their behavior can be taken as threatening and scary to women when they think they are just being "a hopeless romantic." But I am absolutely not making up my own definition of anything.
    - throwawaylinux 4y ago
      "I have decided that woman is 'out of his league', therefore the fact he appears to be pursuing a relationship with her causes me to fear for her safety" would not meet the reasonable person test. To be clear I wasn't challenging you on how you personally feel, you don't need to justify that to me. And I'm not being pejorative or trying to say your feelings are less valid with "reasonable", just following the legal term.

actionfromafar 4y ago

While this is true, that's also exactly how stalkers present themselves.

Maursault 4y ago
Haven't RTFA, but it is clear neither you nor OP have any idea what stalking is. While it does mean "to approach stealthily," which implies surveilling and following in the context of predator and prey, in the social and criminal sense stalking has a specific meaning which is in the simplest sense to threaten. Any indication in the article that the author had an intent of harassment and intimidation, or threatened a victim with bodily harm or death? Was the author explicitly shunned by the target of his affection and then continued to aggressively pursue her obsessively? No? Then it is not stalking.
- DoreenMichele 4y ago
  We do not have Susan Brockman's side of this story. We do not know if the contact was deemed unwanted nor if she felt threatened, etc. This was the 1950s and 60s. Women with any career ambition put up with a lot more sexist BS and sexual BS than they typically do today. She may have felt this was an opportunity she could not afford to pass up.
  - Maursault 4y ago
    Right, so we must presume his behavior is criminal until he is proven innocent.
  - bequanna 4y ago
    Ridiculous. Why are you pushing this dreamed up narrative so hard without a single piece of evidence? Do you have personal knowledge of something that isn’t included in this story?
watwut 4y ago
Not really? Stalking actions require you to invade privacy or continuing contact when it was unwanted. Stalking is an actual thing.
- actionfromafar 4y ago
  Are you arguing stalkers present themselves as "hi, I invade privacy and continue contact when unwanted"?
  - watwut 4y ago
    I am saying this article is not how stalkers represent themselves. I am saying that article does not contain stalking actions either.

DoreenMichele 4y ago

Not hopeless romantics perusing hopeless relationships. Let me reframe that: If there is no hope she will ever say "yes", he knows that and pursues her anyway, he is a stalker, not a hopeless romantic.

throwawaylinux 4y ago
That's just not what stalking means. It's a pretty serious crime with a real definition, not just "I don't like somebody" or "they hurt my feelings" or whatever. You're free to call it creepy or frightening or anything else, it's just not what stalking is though. You've made up your own definition of the word.
- DoreenMichele 4y ago
  According to the US DOJ: The term “stalking” means engaging in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for his or her safety or the safety of others or suffer substantial emotional distress. https://www.justice.gov/ovw/stalking https://www.justice.gov/ovw/stalking At some point, someone told me (to my surprise -- they were rebutting some comment I made online) that horror movies tend to have mostly female audiences. A lot of horror movies have plot lines that sound a fair amount like stalking or some exaggerated fantasy version of stalking. A lot of women suffer substantial emotional distress and fear for their own safety due to the behavior of men they know who will not give it a rest. Men tend to be bigger than women, outweigh them, have a strength advantage, are more likely to have combat training or martial arts classes, etc. One article I read years ago indicated that when asked what they most feared from a woman, men feared being laughed at. Women feared being killed (by men). Men may not be comfortable hearing that their behavior can be taken as threatening and scary to women when they think they are just being "a hopeless romantic." But I am absolutely not making up my own definition of anything.
  - throwawaylinux 4y ago
    "I have decided that woman is 'out of his league', therefore the fact he appears to be pursuing a relationship with her causes me to fear for her safety" would not meet the reasonable person test. To be clear I wasn't challenging you on how you personally feel, you don't need to justify that to me. And I'm not being pejorative or trying to say your feelings are less valid with "reasonable", just following the legal term.