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A long time ago I volunteered to accompany my son's elementary school class on a field trip to an old sailing ship docked at a pier on the San Francisco Bay. I

A long time ago I volunteered to accompany my son's elementary school class on a field trip to an old sailing ship docked at a pier on the San Francisco Bay. I was put in charge of the boys. Naturally, they were excited to be on an old sailing ship and a bit rowdy, pretending to be pirates and the like, stuff boys do. Nothing too bad in my estimation. Suddenly the teacher yelled at me to get the boys under control. The other women chimed in to yell at me. I was flabbergasted. They wanted the boys to behave like the girls! I still haven't got over it. I was raised that "boys will be boys" and you had to let boys run free within limits to work off their energy. They never asked my to volunteer again. Since then, I'm not surprised by some of the problems that have arisen, but I admit I could be an old guy out of touch with the new reality. I do feel bad for my son now, who is a decent guy, single, raised by old school feminist parents, when he tells me some of the horror stories of how young women have weaponized social media against young men, at least that's how he tells it.

nhchris 4y ago
"Boys will be boys" has been deliberately conflated with a permissive attitude towards sexual abuse. Your use of what you thought was an innocent phrase describing rowdy behavior will be abused by activists as evidence of misogyny or rape culture. Together with "toxic masculinity", it's one of the ways male-associated behavior, or masculinity itself, is problematized, or in plain language, attacked. It's second nature to walk home before the sun goes down; And put your keys between your knuckles when there's boys around - Boys will be boys, Dua Lipa - https://genius.com/Dua-lipa-boys-will-be-boys-lyrics https://genius.com/Dua-lipa-boys-will-be-boys-lyrics * The Danger of “Boys Will Be Boys” - Why this phrase should be banned from our vocabulary.* - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/gender-and-schooling/201403/the-danger-boys-will-be-boys https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/gender-and-schooling... Why ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ Is an Excuse for Bad Behavior - The time for a culture of accountability is now [..] It validates male entitlement, often excusing discriminatory and even criminal actions against girls and women. - [See many examples of criminal defense attorneys using "boys will be boys" to defend rapists? Part of the fiction these movements want us to believe is that, despite the scarlet mark that sex offenders carry, and the near-universal disdain society shows them, actually, sexual assault is tolerated and excused by our deeply misogynist society.] https://www.inhersight.com/blog/diversity/boys-will-be-boys https://www.inhersight.com/blog/diversity/boys-will-be-boys
- labrador 4y ago
  Rape was a felony criminal act when I was young, so my use of the phrase "boys will be boys" wasn't meant to excuse rape then just as it doesn't now, although it's unsurprising a criminal defense attorney might argue that it does.
  - nhchris 4y ago
    > it's unsurprising a criminal defense attorney might argue that it does. You misinterpreted my post - I have never heard of a defense attorney arguing this, and much less of a judge or jury accepting it as a valid defense. The example was to illustrate the gap between reality and the "rape culture" some assert we live in.

nhchris 4y ago

"Boys will be boys" has been deliberately conflated with a permissive attitude towards sexual abuse. Your use of what you thought was an innocent phrase describing rowdy behavior will be abused by activists as evidence of misogyny or rape culture. Together with "toxic masculinity", it's one of the ways male-associated behavior, or masculinity itself, is problematized, or in plain language, attacked. It's second nature to walk home before the sun goes down; And put your keys between your knuckles when there's boys around - Boys will be boys, Dua Lipa - https://genius.com/Dua-lipa-boys-will-be-boys-lyrics https://genius.com/Dua-lipa-boys-will-be-boys-lyrics * The Danger of “Boys Will Be Boys” - Why this phrase should be banned from our vocabulary.* - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/gender-and-schooling/201403/the-danger-boys-will-be-boys https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/gender-and-schooling... Why ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ Is an Excuse for Bad Behavior - The time for a culture of accountability is now [..] It validates male entitlement, often excusing discriminatory and even criminal actions against girls and women. - [See many examples of criminal defense attorneys using "boys will be boys" to defend rapists? Part of the fiction these movements want us to believe is that, despite the scarlet mark that sex offenders carry, and the near-universal disdain society shows them, actually, sexual assault is tolerated and excused by our deeply misogynist society.] https://www.inhersight.com/blog/diversity/boys-will-be-boys https://www.inhersight.com/blog/diversity/boys-will-be-boys

labrador 4y ago
Rape was a felony criminal act when I was young, so my use of the phrase "boys will be boys" wasn't meant to excuse rape then just as it doesn't now, although it's unsurprising a criminal defense attorney might argue that it does.
- nhchris 4y ago
  > it's unsurprising a criminal defense attorney might argue that it does. You misinterpreted my post - I have never heard of a defense attorney arguing this, and much less of a judge or jury accepting it as a valid defense. The example was to illustrate the gap between reality and the "rape culture" some assert we live in.