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I once had I colleague that I had lots and lots of trouble engaging with. Over and over again I would try to get my point across but fail. That was until I not

I once had I colleague that I had lots and lots of trouble engaging with. Over and over again I would try to get my point across but fail. That was until I noticed that if I picked up the discussion again the next day he had internalized yesterday's conversation. From then on I worked perfectly fine with him building up shared understanding one point at a time. I really wish for him, and me, that there was a word he could've used to describe his style of thinking. I'm sure it would save everyone many a frustration.

xyzelement 4y ago
// that there was a word he could've used to describe his style of thinking I actually think you found those words in this post. He could have just said "I often need a day to digest a conversation. So ideally let me sleep on it after we talk about something" The desire to articulate something like that is 99% of the task. Words can be found.
kilgnad 4y ago
The most accurate words are actually derogatory. It's obvious but you miss the obviousness because of politics and the need to be polite. Your friend is just slow.
- acuozzo 4y ago
  > Your friend is just slow. The issue here is that, in the US at least, referring to someone as "slow" is making a statement about their IQ. There are many possible causes for the coworker's "slow"-ness here, e.g. anxiety, doubt, and high standards. Perhaps the coworker feels the need to respond only with well-researched responses and refuses to engage in speculation.
- gardenhedge 4y ago
  Here are some words for you: deliberative, thoughtful, methodical, considerate, introspective
  - kilgnad 4y ago
    Here's 3 words that overrides all your words: cold hard truth.
    - gardenhedge 4y ago
      I think you misunderstood. You said "The most accurate words are actually derogatory". I proved that wrong by providing you with some accurate words that you did not know about.
      - kilgnad 4y ago
        No. You misunderstood. Accurate but not most accurate. The most accurate word overrides less accurate words.

xyzelement 4y ago

// that there was a word he could've used to describe his style of thinking I actually think you found those words in this post. He could have just said "I often need a day to digest a conversation. So ideally let me sleep on it after we talk about something" The desire to articulate something like that is 99% of the task. Words can be found.

kilgnad 4y ago

The most accurate words are actually derogatory. It's obvious but you miss the obviousness because of politics and the need to be polite. Your friend is just slow.

acuozzo 4y ago
> Your friend is just slow. The issue here is that, in the US at least, referring to someone as "slow" is making a statement about their IQ. There are many possible causes for the coworker's "slow"-ness here, e.g. anxiety, doubt, and high standards. Perhaps the coworker feels the need to respond only with well-researched responses and refuses to engage in speculation.
gardenhedge 4y ago
Here are some words for you: deliberative, thoughtful, methodical, considerate, introspective
- kilgnad 4y ago
  Here's 3 words that overrides all your words: cold hard truth.
  - gardenhedge 4y ago
    I think you misunderstood. You said "The most accurate words are actually derogatory". I proved that wrong by providing you with some accurate words that you did not know about.
    - kilgnad 4y ago
      No. You misunderstood. Accurate but not most accurate. The most accurate word overrides less accurate words.