To my non-native speaker ear, “a lot” indicates the strength the emotion (“very upset”), while “kind of” is a defensive wording indicating lack of objectivity o

To my non-native speaker ear, “a lot” indicates the strength the emotion (“very upset”), while “kind of” is a defensive wording indicating lack of objectivity or surety (“not saying it’s objectively annoying, but it does upset me”). It shows up a lot, in my experience, when people are talking about something anecdotal or subjective.