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> I just enjoy developing for myself That seems to be the main issue. I tried sysadmin for a while, it was more varied than a swe role and I enjoyed it more, b

> I just enjoy developing for myself That seems to be the main issue. I tried sysadmin for a while, it was more varied than a swe role and I enjoyed it more, but after a while it still became "boring" and mentally unbearable. I like writing software for myself however. I've had this issue since school. And as soon as a subject is done with, and the pressure of "have to" is relieved, I actually start to give a shit about it. By then however, I had already gotten a bad grade on the exam. I'm probably some kind of neurodivergent. Not sure what exactly is "wrong" with me, although I've had plenty of "professional" help.

wonderwonder 4y ago
Respectfully its going to be like this forever unless you decide to make a major change. This will be your next 60 years. Or it can be different in a few weeks / months. One idea, may not be your cup of tea though... I don't know your situation as far as family. Have you considered joining the military? It provides structure, a million different career paths, travel, comradery and physical fitness. Plus a pension if you stay in for 20 years. On top of that there are multiple branches to choose from depending on your wants. If I had reached burn out in my twenties, I would have joined the military.
- the_only_law 4y ago
  May not happen depending on what sort of “professional help” they’ve gotten.
  - wonderwonder 4y ago
    A valid point, I did overlook that.
- bruce343434 4y ago
  I have considered it, but I'm not giving my life for my country. A country is just an emergent structure. There are others like it.
  - wonderwonder 4y ago
    There's always the airforce :)
    - bruce343434 4y ago
      Sorry, I don't think I get the joke. For context, I'm european (Netherlands). What other kind of "change" were you alluding to I could make? I'm not sure what it could be. It seems the root of my issue is that _having_ to do something makes me dislike it, to the point where my brain just mentally blocks and says "nope". I realize it's not normal, and it's a more (very) extreme version of procrastination perhaps.
      - wonderwonder 4y ago
        I'm responding to the comment you made about dying for your country. Only pilots / special units fight in the air force, everyone else is support and relatively safe. No joke intended.
      - tokinonagare 4y ago
        > It seems the root of my issue is that _having_ to do something makes me dislike it I'm like you: I have very hard time working on something someone tell me to do, yet I can spend hours working on my own projects without any issue. Of course this led to pretty big issues like failing my PhD and having to go back in my country. Then I quitted my first real job after 4 months because I was feeling I wasn't pay enough and the conditions weren't to my liking, and finally found a full remote one which pays quite a bit more. My advice would be to either find a job in which the conditions aren't too bad (4 days weeks, full remote, etc.), or a government worker like position where you can be paid doing jack shit.

wonderwonder 4y ago

Respectfully its going to be like this forever unless you decide to make a major change. This will be your next 60 years. Or it can be different in a few weeks / months. One idea, may not be your cup of tea though... I don't know your situation as far as family. Have you considered joining the military? It provides structure, a million different career paths, travel, comradery and physical fitness. Plus a pension if you stay in for 20 years. On top of that there are multiple branches to choose from depending on your wants. If I had reached burn out in my twenties, I would have joined the military.

the_only_law 4y ago
May not happen depending on what sort of “professional help” they’ve gotten.
- wonderwonder 4y ago
  A valid point, I did overlook that.
bruce343434 4y ago
I have considered it, but I'm not giving my life for my country. A country is just an emergent structure. There are others like it.
- wonderwonder 4y ago
  There's always the airforce :)
  - bruce343434 4y ago
    Sorry, I don't think I get the joke. For context, I'm european (Netherlands). What other kind of "change" were you alluding to I could make? I'm not sure what it could be. It seems the root of my issue is that _having_ to do something makes me dislike it, to the point where my brain just mentally blocks and says "nope". I realize it's not normal, and it's a more (very) extreme version of procrastination perhaps.
    - wonderwonder 4y ago
      I'm responding to the comment you made about dying for your country. Only pilots / special units fight in the air force, everyone else is support and relatively safe. No joke intended.
    - tokinonagare 4y ago
      > It seems the root of my issue is that _having_ to do something makes me dislike it I'm like you: I have very hard time working on something someone tell me to do, yet I can spend hours working on my own projects without any issue. Of course this led to pretty big issues like failing my PhD and having to go back in my country. Then I quitted my first real job after 4 months because I was feeling I wasn't pay enough and the conditions weren't to my liking, and finally found a full remote one which pays quite a bit more. My advice would be to either find a job in which the conditions aren't too bad (4 days weeks, full remote, etc.), or a government worker like position where you can be paid doing jack shit.