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If you can afford it, following the intrinsic motivation may be exactly what you need to do. Sometimes I'm in the position where I want or need to do something

If you can afford it, following the intrinsic motivation may be exactly what you need to do. Sometimes I'm in the position where I want or need to do something even though I'm dreading it or am not excited about. A few things have helped me when that's the case: 1. Coaxing myself rather than trying to crack the whip. - Finding what's interesting about the task - Thinking through how it might be made interesting or easy - Thinking through whether I can automate it away - Starting on a tiny piece without committing to finishing it right away - Lowering my requirements on quality for a first try to basically zero - Developing a habit around the task with a reward like a streak or a check mark 2. Writing out my thoughts - Why do I want to take on this task? - Why don't I want to take on this task? If I can drill down on both of those maybe I can come to some kind of resolution Anyway, a lot of what works depends on what's broken in the current situation. I think that sometimes your desire to avoid something is right and sometimes it needs to be worked around. But in either case it can be at least heard with thoughtfulness and compassion. There's probably insight in the feeling that you don't want to miss out on. On the other hand, I think it's a mistake to treat these feelings as the only thing either. Often even strong feelings are temporary and situational and getting better information or just letting time pass or building up a feeling of success from small wins will let the storm move on.

rpastuszak 4y ago
> If you can afford it, following the intrinsic motivation may be exactly what you need to do. and > Anyway, a lot of what works depends on what's broken in the current situation. I think that sometimes your desire to avoid something is right and sometimes it needs to be worked around. But in either case it can be at least heard with thoughtfulness and compassion. Thanks for sharing these examples! I'm just wrapping an article which I think you and the OP would find interesting as it deals with this very problem. My goal is to help people see procrastination, laziness and play in a more useful manner. I am terrible at working on things I don’t give a shit about. The list of those things extends with every passing year. And, I realised very late (mid 30s) how much stress was caused by forcing myself to brute force this problem instead of trying to understand it better. To paraphrase Daniel Ariely: we’re irrational creatures, but the beautiful part is that we’re predictably irrational. Know your flaws and set up systems to help account for them. In other words: it’s not your fault that you feel a certain way, but it’s your responsibility to act when you can. It'll be ready by Tuesday (if you're interested, drop me a line and I'll send you the link: hello@<my site domain from the profile page>).
- rpastuszak 4y ago
  I've just published the article. Here's the link and the discussion: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35068319 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35068319
- jstummbillig 4y ago
  Off the top of your head, do you have a strong sense of what work would interest you? And, if so, why you have not been working on it or working towards working on it?
  - rpastuszak 4y ago
    Learning and creating things which people enjoy, regardless of the medium (design, code, writing). (It used to be publishing, then helping small startups grow, then privacy and now a cross section of mental health and tech.) Ideal: 1. Build a small thing solving an actual problem 2. Tell as story and teach people something using the thing I build: https://sonnet.io/posts/sit/ https://sonnet.io/posts/sit/ Here's how not to approach this problem: I had spent ages thinking about this, or rather justifying my existing choices. I literally had SWOT analysis charts describing different paths I could take. The main issue was that I was approaching this from a purely rational point of view. But, I had to first learn about the emotional component of my decisions and biases. I grew up without financial security so that also tends to cloud my judgement (e.g. by comparing myself to people who work more stressful jobs). I was busy, overworked and really stressed then (but well paid!). Scaling down was very hard, in terms of self-judgement, but my health has improved drastically. I don't have time to write about this here, but in short: I think that many people who end up in engineering careers tend to get caught in a situation where they keep getting rewarded for solving problems, but eventually lose the context of what kinds of problems they're solving. For _example_: you start with your first SWE gig in an area you like, move to a tech lead/architect, then to a CTO working on a much meatier/"serious" problems. But as soon as you step back from the game progression graph (intentionally or not) you realise you lost the context, you don't give a shit about adtech or crypto, or marketing, or agile. You are really good at something you actually don't give a shit about. I don't think that SWEs are the only to end up with this issue, but that people who choose this line of work are more predisposed to getting a kick from chasing problems.

rpastuszak 4y ago

> If you can afford it, following the intrinsic motivation may be exactly what you need to do. and > Anyway, a lot of what works depends on what's broken in the current situation. I think that sometimes your desire to avoid something is right and sometimes it needs to be worked around. But in either case it can be at least heard with thoughtfulness and compassion. Thanks for sharing these examples! I'm just wrapping an article which I think you and the OP would find interesting as it deals with this very problem. My goal is to help people see procrastination, laziness and play in a more useful manner. I am terrible at working on things I don’t give a shit about. The list of those things extends with every passing year. And, I realised very late (mid 30s) how much stress was caused by forcing myself to brute force this problem instead of trying to understand it better. To paraphrase Daniel Ariely: we’re irrational creatures, but the beautiful part is that we’re predictably irrational. Know your flaws and set up systems to help account for them. In other words: it’s not your fault that you feel a certain way, but it’s your responsibility to act when you can. It'll be ready by Tuesday (if you're interested, drop me a line and I'll send you the link: hello@<my site domain from the profile page>).

rpastuszak 4y ago
I've just published the article. Here's the link and the discussion: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35068319 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35068319
jstummbillig 4y ago
Off the top of your head, do you have a strong sense of what work would interest you? And, if so, why you have not been working on it or working towards working on it?
- rpastuszak 4y ago
  Learning and creating things which people enjoy, regardless of the medium (design, code, writing). (It used to be publishing, then helping small startups grow, then privacy and now a cross section of mental health and tech.) Ideal: 1. Build a small thing solving an actual problem 2. Tell as story and teach people something using the thing I build: https://sonnet.io/posts/sit/ https://sonnet.io/posts/sit/ Here's how not to approach this problem: I had spent ages thinking about this, or rather justifying my existing choices. I literally had SWOT analysis charts describing different paths I could take. The main issue was that I was approaching this from a purely rational point of view. But, I had to first learn about the emotional component of my decisions and biases. I grew up without financial security so that also tends to cloud my judgement (e.g. by comparing myself to people who work more stressful jobs). I was busy, overworked and really stressed then (but well paid!). Scaling down was very hard, in terms of self-judgement, but my health has improved drastically. I don't have time to write about this here, but in short: I think that many people who end up in engineering careers tend to get caught in a situation where they keep getting rewarded for solving problems, but eventually lose the context of what kinds of problems they're solving. For _example_: you start with your first SWE gig in an area you like, move to a tech lead/architect, then to a CTO working on a much meatier/"serious" problems. But as soon as you step back from the game progression graph (intentionally or not) you realise you lost the context, you don't give a shit about adtech or crypto, or marketing, or agile. You are really good at something you actually don't give a shit about. I don't think that SWEs are the only to end up with this issue, but that people who choose this line of work are more predisposed to getting a kick from chasing problems.