I am not saying this to be cruel, but you have not reached rock bottom yet. A person you loved, who was important /everything to you has left. You are despera

I am not saying this to be cruel, but you have not reached rock bottom yet. A person you loved, who was important /everything to you has left. You are desperately sad. This impacts your life and your work /studies. Most people will experience this in some way during their lives. The lucky few who dont. That does not make it any easier and nothing anyone can say can make it go away. This is a process. It will take time. Nobody can make it just go away. The statistics are in your favor my friend. People usually recover :) When you do, you will still have an open wound and it will make your next relationship a bit more difficult bur you will also be better prepared. However, you still have a place to live, you sound reasonably healthy, dont have any serious drug issues, you can feed yourself, you can shower. Dont trivialize this. This is more than a lot of people ever have. You have hit a most difficult time of grief. Ancient wisdom for such patches is to get drunk and f..k wh..- This is misogynistic, wrong and does not do anything to help anyone. Ancient wisdom from a different place would be to hang out with a shaman and eat mushrooms or similar. (The shaman part if vital) Now we have therapy, self-help books and even pills. If you have the funds, possibility, ability and time, something I have tried to go somewhere strange / different. It can either help you, you get distracted by strange things and ways. Or it just make you feel even more lonely and isolated.