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I own an S20 too and tried to explain how you can side-load apps from F-Droid, bypassing Google Play, but he's too young (12) to understand such concepts. He’s

I own an S20 too and tried to explain how you can side-load apps from F-Droid, bypassing Google Play, but he's too young (12) to understand such concepts. He’s not too young to understand. It is your thing. It isn’t his thing. 12 is about when kids see that. When their friends become important and their relationship with their parents changes. It is when your role as a parent changes. My parenting advice is get two iPhones. Let your kid teach you how to use yours. If you really want to win, first ask them if you should get an iPhone. —- On a Friday afternoon, I picked my boy up from middle school to get to an out of town travel soccer event. “I need an iPhone because I have a girlfriend.” Thus ended the Tracphone is good enough phase of our relationship. A five years later I asked what phone I should get. These days we FaceTime when he’s not working. It’s a long game. Rapport, trust and goodwill are the only winning strategy. Good luck.

em-bee 4y ago
as a parent, part of my job is to protect my children from harm. thus regardless of the kids wishes, they will not be getting an iphone (or a regular android phone). “I need an iPhone because I have a girlfriend.” "if that is what your girlfriend expects from you, then she is not a true friend. i know this may be painful, but true friends do not focus on things like that. try to be persistent. this is a good test for your friendship. if she insists, then let her go. you will not be happy with her in the future, because she will continue to pressure you to buy fancy things, and that is not the kind of relationship you want."
- fkgmeqnb 4y ago
  Great way of ruining your child's relationships.
  - em-bee 4y ago
    it will ruin the toxic relationships and make room for better ones.
    - TastyJhinga 4y ago
      But you don't understand the fact that this is how modern relationships work. Internet and texting is where everything happens these days and you can't force your understanding of the world on your kids. In this day and age, how can anyone even begin to have a relationship without being able to contact them when you want to? It is not something fancy, it's a basic necessity if you want your kid to not turn out a social pariah.
      - em-bee 4y ago
        that's not what i am responding to. the original message was "i need an iphone" not "i need a phone". my response specifically addresses the request for something they shouldn't need since they already had a phone (i could not find any specifics about a tracphone, but i guess it is android based) and since this was likely not clear, by not giving my kids a regular android phone, i meant one with a manufacturer provided android. they will be getting something with a version of android customized for privacy, like /e/ or something similar.
        deleted 4y ago
        [deleted]
        brudgers 4y ago
        The messages were, I have a girlfriend and I want an iPhone. They came out together ten minutes into a two hour drive and five minutes later he was asleep because I said, I will talk about it with mama. And later that same day while he was doing his soccer things, I did on my Windows Phone. And then we all talked some more over the next few days. Mostly about the girlfriend. Because it was awesome to see him reach that stage of his life…we were that age once. The iPhone came eventually after a few weeks. I think it turned out a positive tool for social navigation in his circumstance. Other kids have other circumstances. But they are not my kid for better or worse. Your kid certainly isn’t.
        em-bee 4y ago
        ok, that's much less dramatic than i envisioned it. in any case i didn't intend to comment on your specific experience but to an envisioned scenario where the girlfriend is the main or only reason to want an iphone. and it's wonderful that your son can talk to you about his girlfriend. i could not talk to my parents about that. i hope my kids will be comfortable to talk with me when the time comes.
  - rwalle 4y ago
    In the same way as "ruining" one's dating opportunity when they appear as a green bubble rather than a blue bubble.
    - delta_p_delta_x 4y ago
      I can't imagine this sort of stuff deters Americans from dating. How bloody shallow can people get???
  - busyant 4y ago
    > Great way of ruining your child's relationships. I had a similar conversation with my wife a few years back. Her sister's teenage kids insisted they needed iPhones "because all our friends use them." And my wife explained this to me like this was a perfectly rational reason. I started laughing and told her "If our kids said that to you, they'd get a long discussion about how that's a 'follower's mentality' and you're letting people who don't have your best interests at heart control your life for superficial reasons." That being said, I think it depends on where OP's child is "at" mentally. It may be important enough to the child to still buy an iPhone simply because you don't want your kid to be miserable. But if that's the case, you should also try to have a conversation with the kid saying "That's fine--it's obviously important enough to you right now, so we'll get an iPhone. But you might look back on this when you're older and think the brand of phone wasn't as important as you thought."
PartiallyTyped 4y ago
This is a great response. As a person estranged with their parents, the fact that they did not attempt to interact with me at my own terms and demanded that I meet them on their is one of the main reasons we are as we are.
Felminor 4y ago
Get two iphones because someone things his smartphone is lame? Wtf what are you a sheep? Educate your kids to be more independent and think for themselves. And no I also didn't had always the cool shit as other kids. No one cares and no it doesn't matter
- williamcotton 4y ago
  But here’s what is actually going on: The dad has political opinions about smartphones. The kid doesn’t care about his dad’s political opinions and just wants an iPhone. The dad is as much succumbing to whatever anti-iPhone narrative he is being sold online as the kid is succumbing to whatever pro-iPhone narrative he’s on the receiving end of.
  - Felminor 4y ago
    A Samsung s20 might also be much cheaper. And why should anyone follow trends just because of some kids?
- dunefox 4y ago
  > No one cares and no it doesn't matter I think the child being bullied and excluded would disagree.
  - Felminor 4y ago
    'excludes' come on.
    - dunefox 4y ago
      Because being bullied means being included!
      - Felminor 4y ago
        Look becoming an independent human being who learns earlier than later that you don't need to just run behind others might just be worth it. And no the solution to bulling is not buying hip shit

em-bee 4y ago

as a parent, part of my job is to protect my children from harm. thus regardless of the kids wishes, they will not be getting an iphone (or a regular android phone). “I need an iPhone because I have a girlfriend.” "if that is what your girlfriend expects from you, then she is not a true friend. i know this may be painful, but true friends do not focus on things like that. try to be persistent. this is a good test for your friendship. if she insists, then let her go. you will not be happy with her in the future, because she will continue to pressure you to buy fancy things, and that is not the kind of relationship you want."

fkgmeqnb 4y ago
Great way of ruining your child's relationships.
- em-bee 4y ago
  it will ruin the toxic relationships and make room for better ones.
  - TastyJhinga 4y ago
    But you don't understand the fact that this is how modern relationships work. Internet and texting is where everything happens these days and you can't force your understanding of the world on your kids. In this day and age, how can anyone even begin to have a relationship without being able to contact them when you want to? It is not something fancy, it's a basic necessity if you want your kid to not turn out a social pariah.
    - em-bee 4y ago
      that's not what i am responding to. the original message was "i need an iphone" not "i need a phone". my response specifically addresses the request for something they shouldn't need since they already had a phone (i could not find any specifics about a tracphone, but i guess it is android based) and since this was likely not clear, by not giving my kids a regular android phone, i meant one with a manufacturer provided android. they will be getting something with a version of android customized for privacy, like /e/ or something similar.
      - deleted 4y ago
        [deleted]
      - brudgers 4y ago
        The messages were, I have a girlfriend and I want an iPhone. They came out together ten minutes into a two hour drive and five minutes later he was asleep because I said, I will talk about it with mama. And later that same day while he was doing his soccer things, I did on my Windows Phone. And then we all talked some more over the next few days. Mostly about the girlfriend. Because it was awesome to see him reach that stage of his life…we were that age once. The iPhone came eventually after a few weeks. I think it turned out a positive tool for social navigation in his circumstance. Other kids have other circumstances. But they are not my kid for better or worse. Your kid certainly isn’t.
        em-bee 4y ago
        ok, that's much less dramatic than i envisioned it. in any case i didn't intend to comment on your specific experience but to an envisioned scenario where the girlfriend is the main or only reason to want an iphone. and it's wonderful that your son can talk to you about his girlfriend. i could not talk to my parents about that. i hope my kids will be comfortable to talk with me when the time comes.
- rwalle 4y ago
  In the same way as "ruining" one's dating opportunity when they appear as a green bubble rather than a blue bubble.
  - delta_p_delta_x 4y ago
    I can't imagine this sort of stuff deters Americans from dating. How bloody shallow can people get???
- busyant 4y ago
  > Great way of ruining your child's relationships. I had a similar conversation with my wife a few years back. Her sister's teenage kids insisted they needed iPhones "because all our friends use them." And my wife explained this to me like this was a perfectly rational reason. I started laughing and told her "If our kids said that to you, they'd get a long discussion about how that's a 'follower's mentality' and you're letting people who don't have your best interests at heart control your life for superficial reasons." That being said, I think it depends on where OP's child is "at" mentally. It may be important enough to the child to still buy an iPhone simply because you don't want your kid to be miserable. But if that's the case, you should also try to have a conversation with the kid saying "That's fine--it's obviously important enough to you right now, so we'll get an iPhone. But you might look back on this when you're older and think the brand of phone wasn't as important as you thought."

PartiallyTyped 4y ago

This is a great response. As a person estranged with their parents, the fact that they did not attempt to interact with me at my own terms and demanded that I meet them on their is one of the main reasons we are as we are.

Felminor 4y ago

Get two iphones because someone things his smartphone is lame? Wtf what are you a sheep? Educate your kids to be more independent and think for themselves. And no I also didn't had always the cool shit as other kids. No one cares and no it doesn't matter

williamcotton 4y ago
But here’s what is actually going on: The dad has political opinions about smartphones. The kid doesn’t care about his dad’s political opinions and just wants an iPhone. The dad is as much succumbing to whatever anti-iPhone narrative he is being sold online as the kid is succumbing to whatever pro-iPhone narrative he’s on the receiving end of.
- Felminor 4y ago
  A Samsung s20 might also be much cheaper. And why should anyone follow trends just because of some kids?
dunefox 4y ago
> No one cares and no it doesn't matter I think the child being bullied and excluded would disagree.
- Felminor 4y ago
  'excludes' come on.
  - dunefox 4y ago
    Because being bullied means being included!
    - Felminor 4y ago
      Look becoming an independent human being who learns earlier than later that you don't need to just run behind others might just be worth it. And no the solution to bulling is not buying hip shit