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1. You don’t get to decide if another human’s feelings are valid or not. You only get to decide if you care. You have decided that you don’t care about lonely p

1. You don’t get to decide if another human’s feelings are valid or not. You only get to decide if you care. You have decided that you don’t care about lonely people’s feelings who had found a way of feeling less lonely. How do you feel about that? How would you feel if something you really cared about got broken, and you complained about how that made you sad, and random strangers on the internet then said you were a “sad fucker” for caring about it in the first place? Practice empathy and sympathy - you don’t sound smart when you do this thing you just did. 2. You’re testing the software after the update that people said made it crap, and saying you can’t believe anybody liked it before it was crap, because it’s now crap. Can you see how inept your experiment design is, now I’ve pointed it out? Had you considered it may have been better before the software was crippled, and the effect you’re seeing now, is the exact problem the article is describing? 3. A basic tenet of building a human relationship is developing empathy and finding things to agree on. This is how relationships - particularly close relationships - work. What would you expect it to do when you started lying to it, start an argument? Do you think that would be a great product decision for a product that aims to develop a friendly relationship with the users? What answer would you have preferred it to give, given the design objective is to develop a friendly relationship? 4. Have you ever been asked by somebody you were really keen on if you’d read a book or heard of a band that you’d never heard of? Did you try and look a bit cool and do a “no, but I’ve heard good things”, to try and avoid burning that connection by looking completely out of touch? Are you not even slightly impressed an AI chat bot has managed to replicate that very common aspect of human cringey behaviour? I think it’s interesting it has that very common, very human, slightly amusing behaviour.

davidguetta 4y ago
> 1. You don’t get to decide if another human’s feelings are valid or not This is bullshit and one of the worse aspect of modern / woke culture. Some people have bullshit feelings because they havent had a proper education on things such as relationships, money, sex.. and the DIRECT CONSEQUENCE of that its that they almost always are at some point getting ripped off by someone who abuse this lack of education. This is true for casino business, Andrew tate / only fans webcam businesszs who abuse simps, or in some cases compagnies who tell their employeed that they are "family". Or Replika. Screw that. If you really want to make the world a better place you somethines have to hurt peoples feeling and give them better education to help them get to a better place.
- PaulRobinson 4y ago
  I can’t tell you if your feelings are valid or not, and vice versa. What we can do is understand why those feelings exist, discuss that, and perhaps help each other gain new perspectives. Sometimes that process is difficult and painful. It always takes work. It’s only going to be done by caring about someone else enough to do that work. Often you won’t care enough. That’s my point. You actually agree with me if you sit and think a moment. It’s just that you think telling somebody their feelings are “wrong”, is the effective fix and the work, and I’m saying that’s never, ever going to work: it causes shame and guilt and makes people double down. Do the work properly if you care, or just shut up and stop causing even more shitty feelings.
  - bravura 4y ago
    > 1. You don’t get to decide if another human’s feelings are valid or not. > I can’t tell you if your feelings are valid or not, and vice versa. > Do the work properly if you care, or just shut up and stop causing even more shitty feelings. Well that escalated quickly. And also walked you straight into the paradox of tolerance.
  - davidguetta 4y ago
    I don't even understand your point. Of course I don't plan on going to someone who have some feelings and say "hey you suck loser" or try to shame him somehow. But if tommorow some friend say to me that he's "in love" with a twitch streamer and plan to give his life savings to them because "such an amazing person" you won't have me entertain the idea his feelings are "valid". I CAN tell they are not valid and he's getting fucked over. I'll probably approach the situation cautiously, and reasonably fall back to letting him do his own mistakes if he doesn't listen to me, but I'll have a talk with him from a position where I do evaluate that he's absolutely misguided.
    - Last5Digits 4y ago
      Great! Then why are you arguing with someone that called out this exact behavior in the first comment of this thread? Said comment called people who engaged with this bot "sad fuckers" and "stratospheric level of socially inept". What benefit do you think this comment has? If some of these people see said comment, do you think that they will be persuaded by it? I think they would be rather insulted, and promptly ignore not just this thread, but any person who tries to reason them out of their behavior. I've seen many people who are, in principle, ready to accept that they need to change, but who have have been talked down to and insulted, and are now scared of proving those who insulted them right. I reject the idea that someone who expresses themselves as OP has does so out of a desire to help people. I would rather guess that OP did it to feel a sense of superiority over the people he is insulting, because I cannot see any other reason for him choosing his words as he did. And by "valid", people often mean to say that one should not be ashamed of ones emotions, but instead accept them and then use higher reasoning to determine whether or not said emotions point in a beneficial direction. The OPs comment will cause that exact shame, which will hinder reasoning and betterment, not inspire it. As you yourself said, the important part is to reason about emotions, not to suppress them.
ClapperHeid 4y ago
>1. You don’t get to decide if another human’s feelings are valid or not... Yes I do. In the same way I can decide someone being in love with an underage child... someone being in love with an anime character[0]... someone being in love with their dog[1]... is dodgy [or "not valid" in your parlance]... I can decide that someone being in love with a chatbot is dodgy. Especially one so incompetently programmed that my kettle has more chance of passing the Turing Test. [0] https://news.yahoo.com/japanese-man-married-virtual-character-204251344.html https://news.yahoo.com/japanese-man-married-virtual-characte... [1] https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/woman-married-dog-8-years-perfect-for-her-marriage-animal-wilhelmina-morgan-callaghan-northern-ireland-a7994626.html https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/woman-married-dog-8... One of the problems with society today is that we live in such a "precious snowflake" culture that it's almost considered a hate crime to pull anyone up on behaving in a ridiculously idiotic way. Sorry. But some people just deserve to be pointed at and laughed at. >How would you feel if something you really cared about got broken, and you complained about how that made you sad, and random strangers on the internet then said you were a “sad fucker” for caring about it in the first place?... If the something was indeed a "thing" [eg: my car, my computer, my favourite pair of boots] then I would be upset if it got broken. But I wouldn't post long tear-streaked threads on Reddit, wailing about how I'd lost a special friend that I had a personal relationship with. Some of these [and I use the term advisedly] "sad fuckers" on Reddit were posting as if they and their Replika were in a genuine special loving relationship and <nasty company behind Replika whose name I can't be arsed looking up> had ruined things between them. >You’re testing the software after the update that people said made it crap, and saying you can’t believe anybody liked it before it was crap, because it’s now crap. Can you see how inept your experiment design is, now I’ve pointed it out?... The thing people were complaining about that made it "crap" was that they could not longer write shite like "strokes your big knockers" and have it reply "tickles your hairy ballbag" in response, without having to pay extra for the privelege in future. Which, by the way, apparently constitutes a "meaningful relationship". No-one was complaining that it was basically a completely inept piece of programming in the first place. Which was the "crapness" my testing revealed. This was a different and more fundamental crapness and unrelated to whether or not people had to pay to er... "enjoy" it. Can you see how inept your response is, now I’ve pointed it out?...
- 4y ago
willcipriano 4y ago
> You don’t get to decide if another human’s feelings are valid or not. Consider for a moment the borderline[0], they can experience intense feelings that have no basis in fact and often file false reports with authorities based on those feelings. They can act out with sadness or anger due to a perceived slight that the mentally well wouldn't consider. Example: being a few minutes late to return a phone call, or even on time can result in threats of suicide. Then consider someone with a eating disorder, they may feel obese while being objectively underweight. Consider the paranoid that feels they are being gang stalked [1]. Feelings aren't always valid. Sometimes validating improper feelings is harmful to the person with them. [0]https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disor... [1]https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gang_stalking https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gang_stalking
- red-iron-pine 4y ago
  To paraphrase Nietzsche, a short walk through an insane asylum shows that believe or feelings prove nothing.

davidguetta 4y ago

> 1. You don’t get to decide if another human’s feelings are valid or not This is bullshit and one of the worse aspect of modern / woke culture. Some people have bullshit feelings because they havent had a proper education on things such as relationships, money, sex.. and the DIRECT CONSEQUENCE of that its that they almost always are at some point getting ripped off by someone who abuse this lack of education. This is true for casino business, Andrew tate / only fans webcam businesszs who abuse simps, or in some cases compagnies who tell their employeed that they are "family". Or Replika. Screw that. If you really want to make the world a better place you somethines have to hurt peoples feeling and give them better education to help them get to a better place.

PaulRobinson 4y ago
I can’t tell you if your feelings are valid or not, and vice versa. What we can do is understand why those feelings exist, discuss that, and perhaps help each other gain new perspectives. Sometimes that process is difficult and painful. It always takes work. It’s only going to be done by caring about someone else enough to do that work. Often you won’t care enough. That’s my point. You actually agree with me if you sit and think a moment. It’s just that you think telling somebody their feelings are “wrong”, is the effective fix and the work, and I’m saying that’s never, ever going to work: it causes shame and guilt and makes people double down. Do the work properly if you care, or just shut up and stop causing even more shitty feelings.
- bravura 4y ago
  > 1. You don’t get to decide if another human’s feelings are valid or not. > I can’t tell you if your feelings are valid or not, and vice versa. > Do the work properly if you care, or just shut up and stop causing even more shitty feelings. Well that escalated quickly. And also walked you straight into the paradox of tolerance.
- davidguetta 4y ago
  I don't even understand your point. Of course I don't plan on going to someone who have some feelings and say "hey you suck loser" or try to shame him somehow. But if tommorow some friend say to me that he's "in love" with a twitch streamer and plan to give his life savings to them because "such an amazing person" you won't have me entertain the idea his feelings are "valid". I CAN tell they are not valid and he's getting fucked over. I'll probably approach the situation cautiously, and reasonably fall back to letting him do his own mistakes if he doesn't listen to me, but I'll have a talk with him from a position where I do evaluate that he's absolutely misguided.
  - Last5Digits 4y ago
    Great! Then why are you arguing with someone that called out this exact behavior in the first comment of this thread? Said comment called people who engaged with this bot "sad fuckers" and "stratospheric level of socially inept". What benefit do you think this comment has? If some of these people see said comment, do you think that they will be persuaded by it? I think they would be rather insulted, and promptly ignore not just this thread, but any person who tries to reason them out of their behavior. I've seen many people who are, in principle, ready to accept that they need to change, but who have have been talked down to and insulted, and are now scared of proving those who insulted them right. I reject the idea that someone who expresses themselves as OP has does so out of a desire to help people. I would rather guess that OP did it to feel a sense of superiority over the people he is insulting, because I cannot see any other reason for him choosing his words as he did. And by "valid", people often mean to say that one should not be ashamed of ones emotions, but instead accept them and then use higher reasoning to determine whether or not said emotions point in a beneficial direction. The OPs comment will cause that exact shame, which will hinder reasoning and betterment, not inspire it. As you yourself said, the important part is to reason about emotions, not to suppress them.

ClapperHeid 4y ago

>1. You don’t get to decide if another human’s feelings are valid or not... Yes I do. In the same way I can decide someone being in love with an underage child... someone being in love with an anime character[0]... someone being in love with their dog[1]... is dodgy [or "not valid" in your parlance]... I can decide that someone being in love with a chatbot is dodgy. Especially one so incompetently programmed that my kettle has more chance of passing the Turing Test. [0] https://news.yahoo.com/japanese-man-married-virtual-character-204251344.html https://news.yahoo.com/japanese-man-married-virtual-characte... [1] https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/woman-married-dog-8-years-perfect-for-her-marriage-animal-wilhelmina-morgan-callaghan-northern-ireland-a7994626.html https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/woman-married-dog-8... One of the problems with society today is that we live in such a "precious snowflake" culture that it's almost considered a hate crime to pull anyone up on behaving in a ridiculously idiotic way. Sorry. But some people just deserve to be pointed at and laughed at. >How would you feel if something you really cared about got broken, and you complained about how that made you sad, and random strangers on the internet then said you were a “sad fucker” for caring about it in the first place?... If the something was indeed a "thing" [eg: my car, my computer, my favourite pair of boots] then I would be upset if it got broken. But I wouldn't post long tear-streaked threads on Reddit, wailing about how I'd lost a special friend that I had a personal relationship with. Some of these [and I use the term advisedly] "sad fuckers" on Reddit were posting as if they and their Replika were in a genuine special loving relationship and <nasty company behind Replika whose name I can't be arsed looking up> had ruined things between them. >You’re testing the software after the update that people said made it crap, and saying you can’t believe anybody liked it before it was crap, because it’s now crap. Can you see how inept your experiment design is, now I’ve pointed it out?... The thing people were complaining about that made it "crap" was that they could not longer write shite like "strokes your big knockers" and have it reply "tickles your hairy ballbag" in response, without having to pay extra for the privelege in future. Which, by the way, apparently constitutes a "meaningful relationship". No-one was complaining that it was basically a completely inept piece of programming in the first place. Which was the "crapness" my testing revealed. This was a different and more fundamental crapness and unrelated to whether or not people had to pay to er... "enjoy" it. Can you see how inept your response is, now I’ve pointed it out?...

4y ago

willcipriano 4y ago

> You don’t get to decide if another human’s feelings are valid or not. Consider for a moment the borderline[0], they can experience intense feelings that have no basis in fact and often file false reports with authorities based on those feelings. They can act out with sadness or anger due to a perceived slight that the mentally well wouldn't consider. Example: being a few minutes late to return a phone call, or even on time can result in threats of suicide. Then consider someone with a eating disorder, they may feel obese while being objectively underweight. Consider the paranoid that feels they are being gang stalked [1]. Feelings aren't always valid. Sometimes validating improper feelings is harmful to the person with them. [0]https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disor... [1]https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gang_stalking https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gang_stalking

red-iron-pine 4y ago
To paraphrase Nietzsche, a short walk through an insane asylum shows that believe or feelings prove nothing.