I guess it depends on what you're looking for. You're right; if the family is the priority, and the partner is important to the degree that they're competent to

I guess it depends on what you're looking for. You're right; if the family is the priority, and the partner is important to the degree that they're competent to fulfil their role in the family, then starting the conversation with what each side can bring to the table makes sense. But that feels too...transactional for me.