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This might be the problem I have with my in-laws. They’re good and mostly happy people but they’re incredibly… simple? Visiting with them is one of the most exc

This might be the problem I have with my in-laws. They’re good and mostly happy people but they’re incredibly… simple? Visiting with them is one of the most excruciating things in my life. All they want to do is talk about complete drivel. Gossip about the neighbour’s garbage cans or their visit to Costco. I’m not judging. It makes them happy. Great. But spending hours there I just feel my brain dying. It’s not for me. But the opposite happens at my family’s dinner table. My poor wife once commented, “my brain began dying about 30 mins into you and your brothers discussing the philosophy of his Supreme Court brief.” Furthermore: my incessant “need for cognition” is kind of screwing me up. I can’t sleep without medication anymore. My brain will not go to sleep on its own. I think and think and think. My wife puts on a stupid firefighter show where nobody ever wears helmets and passes out in ten minutes.

Xcelerate 4y ago
> My poor wife once commented, “my brain began dying about 30 mins into you and your brothers discussing the philosophy of his Supreme Court brief.” Haha, my wife is similar—"If you and your dad start another four hour conversation about AI, I'm going to bed". My response: "You're more than welcome to discuss Solomonoff induction along with us." Somehow we do manage to find topics that we both enjoy though.
65 4y ago
> my incessant “need for cognition” is kind of screwing me up. Hah. Same. I have to pace around for hours and hours a day, thinking about random shit. I do an unhealthy amount of pacing. I'm not anxiously pacing. Just thinking about stuff. At least I get my steps in.
thekiptxt 4y ago
I understand what you’re saying and I can relate to some degree, but it’s hard to read comments like this and not think I’m browsing r/IAmVerySmart. I have some friends with whom I might try to poke at the nuances of the philosophy of a Supreme Court decision, but I have other friends who would be bored out of their mind. They also have a need for cognition and love to tear topics apart, but _different_ topics.
specialist 4y ago
Are your in-laws happy? If yes, perhaps how they communicate is more important than topic. Costco, tulips, volcanos, whatever. I'm sure they ran out of new things to say decades ago. Forging a healthy, functional, durable marriage is quite the trick. Maybe they figured it out.

Xcelerate 4y ago

> My poor wife once commented, “my brain began dying about 30 mins into you and your brothers discussing the philosophy of his Supreme Court brief.” Haha, my wife is similar—"If you and your dad start another four hour conversation about AI, I'm going to bed". My response: "You're more than welcome to discuss Solomonoff induction along with us." Somehow we do manage to find topics that we both enjoy though.

65 4y ago

> my incessant “need for cognition” is kind of screwing me up. Hah. Same. I have to pace around for hours and hours a day, thinking about random shit. I do an unhealthy amount of pacing. I'm not anxiously pacing. Just thinking about stuff. At least I get my steps in.

thekiptxt 4y ago

I understand what you’re saying and I can relate to some degree, but it’s hard to read comments like this and not think I’m browsing r/IAmVerySmart. I have some friends with whom I might try to poke at the nuances of the philosophy of a Supreme Court decision, but I have other friends who would be bored out of their mind. They also have a need for cognition and love to tear topics apart, but _different_ topics.

specialist 4y ago

Are your in-laws happy? If yes, perhaps how they communicate is more important than topic. Costco, tulips, volcanos, whatever. I'm sure they ran out of new things to say decades ago. Forging a healthy, functional, durable marriage is quite the trick. Maybe they figured it out.