4 ms·

So the gist of the article is that young men just want to have sex, and young women are seeking lasting relationships, so the men are giving up and complaining

by claar 4y ago

So the gist of the article is that young men just want to have sex, and young women are seeking lasting relationships, so the men are giving up and complaining about it? If that's a fair reading of the article's main thrust, I just don't know what to say. Surely I'm misinterpreting something here.

layman51 4y ago
This is exactly what I was getting out of it too. I would really recommend reading the Psychology Today article that was also posted here because it explains more about the causes of why a rise in this statistic is being observed.
rdiddly 4y ago
The second guy said that. The first one sounded like he'd prefer you know like, having a normal goddamn conversation. And to be fair, both were asked by a reporter two things, 1) did you give up on dating, and if so, 2) please explain why, so yeah you're misinterpreting a few things here.
alistairSH 4y ago
That was my take on it. And the guys in the article didn’t seem all that put off by it. “I want to date and have fun and not commit.” So they’re single, but still dating, just maybe not picking up strange women at bars. And as much as people use dating apps now, the majority of my friends (late-30s to mid-40s, mostly) met their partners in meatspace. I met my wife at a running club. Others met cycling or other sports. A few were introduced by friends. No idea if this is broadly true, but it definitely feels like more of the successful relationships form the old fashioned way.
macinjosh 4y ago
IDK. Some women are seeking maximally committed relationships on demand when their biological clock is nearly up after years of maintaining extremely high standards when they could have been forming a relationship with one of the hundreds of men who messaged them over the years. Asking about kids on the first date is cringey, borderline creepy but that clock doesn’t stop ticking! Before I met my wife some women on dating apps would want to know my height, income, and family desires/situation before even talking much. It was like a job interview at times. Not sure how women expect to find a lasting mate when they’ve waited until the last minute to lower their standards from the stratosphere. I am so lucky I found my amazing wife!!
generalizations 4y ago
Sounded like some of them wanted casual sex, but others were interested in lasting relationships. The common denominator seems to be that at 25-30 years old, men feel like they can take their time and go slowly, and have years to burn trying out relationships that may or may not pan out; while at the same age range, women feel like they need to move quickly. Not as many dudes that want to move fast, or women that are ok with moving slow, so we end up with this disconnect.

by claar 4y ago

layman51 4y ago

This is exactly what I was getting out of it too. I would really recommend reading the Psychology Today article that was also posted here because it explains more about the causes of why a rise in this statistic is being observed.

rdiddly 4y ago

The second guy said that. The first one sounded like he'd prefer you know like, having a normal goddamn conversation. And to be fair, both were asked by a reporter two things, 1) did you give up on dating, and if so, 2) please explain why, so yeah you're misinterpreting a few things here.

alistairSH 4y ago

That was my take on it. And the guys in the article didn’t seem all that put off by it. “I want to date and have fun and not commit.” So they’re single, but still dating, just maybe not picking up strange women at bars. And as much as people use dating apps now, the majority of my friends (late-30s to mid-40s, mostly) met their partners in meatspace. I met my wife at a running club. Others met cycling or other sports. A few were introduced by friends. No idea if this is broadly true, but it definitely feels like more of the successful relationships form the old fashioned way.

macinjosh 4y ago

IDK. Some women are seeking maximally committed relationships on demand when their biological clock is nearly up after years of maintaining extremely high standards when they could have been forming a relationship with one of the hundreds of men who messaged them over the years. Asking about kids on the first date is cringey, borderline creepy but that clock doesn’t stop ticking! Before I met my wife some women on dating apps would want to know my height, income, and family desires/situation before even talking much. It was like a job interview at times. Not sure how women expect to find a lasting mate when they’ve waited until the last minute to lower their standards from the stratosphere. I am so lucky I found my amazing wife!!

generalizations 4y ago

Sounded like some of them wanted casual sex, but others were interested in lasting relationships. The common denominator seems to be that at 25-30 years old, men feel like they can take their time and go slowly, and have years to burn trying out relationships that may or may not pan out; while at the same age range, women feel like they need to move quickly. Not as many dudes that want to move fast, or women that are ok with moving slow, so we end up with this disconnect.