4 ms·

Been there, now I get nostalgic when I hear crying kids.

by zwieback 4y ago

boringg 4y ago
Do you really? I think thats a situation in which your memory is remembering things in a much better light.
- Cyph0n 4y ago
  Speaking as a new parent, I think that if parents remembered every little detail, no one would ever have more than one child.
  - rootusrootus 4y ago
    A related joke I have is that everyone talks about the terrible twos, but says nothing about threes. Because it turns out that two year old tantrums are sort of adorable, and if we told people what happens next, they would never take off the condom. And another comment I'm making recently is ... "Everyone says they want to have a baby, but nobody ever says I want to have a teenager!" It's probably for the best people don't think that far ahead. I'm growing gray hair at a prodigious rate right now, and my oldest still has six months before she's actually a teen.
    - ihaveajob 4y ago
      > A related joke I have is that everyone talks about the terrible twos, but says nothing about threes. Because it turns out that two year old tantrums are sort of adorable, and if we told people what happens next, they would never take off the condom. Ah, the threenager!
      - vlachen 4y ago
        Then the Fournado. After that, the Fuck-You-I'm-Five.
    - TeMPOraL 4y ago
      > Because it turns out that two year old tantrums are sort of adorable, and if we told people what happens next, they would never take off the condom. Spoiler alert: even more tantrums, which also last longer and are trickier to defuse. Talking them out of one gets more difficult, as the kid will likely talk back, and might even catch you in the act of committing logical fallacies, because in this period of time, their 3yo brain works better than your sleep-deprived one. On the other hand, the feats of logic my kid performs to argue their case - hearing them almost makes up for all of it.
      - vlachen 4y ago
        Ours has a rep of being a little lawyer. They can be quite persuasive. We used to say "We don't negotiate with terrorists" until that started getting screamed out at daycare, then we had to put it away.
    - sam_goody 4y ago
      I have several teens, and have adopted several more [As in, there are over a hundred teenagers that feel comfortable in my house.] It is awesome. Teenagers are the best age group there is. I highly suggest that people take a book or two on parenting and seriously adopt what they have to say. Raise your kids from a young age on the premise that you want to have a relationship that will last till you die. (In my experience, the best book I've read is "Raise your children without raising your voice".) Set aside time and effort to make the relationship work for real. This is an investment and will not invest itself. Religion is important, family is important, cellphone use should be filtered and limited in a matter-of-fact way from when they are first getting a cellphone. [OK, phones are a big deal to get right, but this is not a blog.] The result is relationships with your own kids that have unbounded energy, talent, resources, interest, etc. - that are just going out on their own to explore the world and conquer it. Well, well, worth the investment.
  - PragmaticPulp 4y ago
    As a parent, hard disagree. Yes, parenting can be challenging and a lot of work at times. However, it’s silly to let the first few difficult months define decisions that impact the entire rest of your life. It’s not that we forget that the early months are difficult. It’s that we realize they’re temporary and that they’re worth enduring.
    - Cyph0n 4y ago
      It is indeed extremely rewarding. I still think that the fact that our memory is not perfect recall is a true blessing. It allows us to make a life changing decision once again based on incomplete information.
    - Tade0 4y ago
      I for one have very few memories of the early months - mostly milestones really. I have several videos of things I don't remember doing or saying.
  - bartvk 4y ago
    I once read a statistic that said: the greatest predictor of your own family size is what your friends' family size is. When I read that, I thought to myself: if I don't take others into account, what do I personally want? We now have one daughter and there's not going to be more kids.
  - nytesky 4y ago
    We call that momnesia, probably a result of the brain damage from lack of sleep.
- zwieback 4y ago
  Without a doubt! Also my energy level is probably lower now so I'm sure it would be even harder.
- rootusrootus 4y ago
  Really young kids are so easy, I can understand the nostalgia. The worst they do is cry? And you have to do diapers? These are trivial things. Tweens, on the other hand... ugh, lots of fun in different ways, but lots more worry & stress too. And if I'm to believe my own mother, this does not recede when they leave home as adults, it actually gets worse.
  - TeMPOraL 4y ago
    This really seems to be the pattern no one talks about: no matter the age bracket, when your kids get to the next one, it gets worse.
    - atq2119 4y ago
      Let me add a data point in the other direction. The first ~six months of my kid's life was by far the worst time for me. Yes, there were other challenges as he got older. But the sleep deprivation of that first period was awful in a way that is difficult to put into words.
      - TeMPOraL 4y ago
        I guess we were lucky then. The first ~6 months meant interrupted sleep, but it was somehow easier to bear than e.g. the 2-3yo period, when our older daughter refused to go to sleep before 23:00 - 00:00, and would wake up on her own around 06:00 anyway. But whichever way it turns for someone, what you note is true: sleep deprivation is awful, and it's hard to describe just how much and how.
      - igortg 4y ago
        Fully agree. Sleep deprivation and the part where they get sick and aren't able to say a thing about the symptoms. Is also a period that is not very rewarding (they mostly sleep, eat and poop... although the small interactions are awesome).
      - boringg 4y ago
        For the first kid its the two punch combo: lack of sleep and a completely new lifestyle that you are adapting too. Most people forget that there is a massive lifestyle change that can be hard depending on the lifestage you are at before the adjustment.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
TeMPOraL 4y ago
That sounds like typical grandparents - their grandchildren are oh so cute and sweet and so well-behaved, perfect and all. They sometimes change the tune after first time they're left with their grandchildren for more than half a day, while parents are away.

Been there, now I get nostalgic when I hear crying kids.

boringg 4y ago

Do you really? I think thats a situation in which your memory is remembering things in a much better light.

Cyph0n 4y ago
Speaking as a new parent, I think that if parents remembered every little detail, no one would ever have more than one child.
- rootusrootus 4y ago
  A related joke I have is that everyone talks about the terrible twos, but says nothing about threes. Because it turns out that two year old tantrums are sort of adorable, and if we told people what happens next, they would never take off the condom. And another comment I'm making recently is ... "Everyone says they want to have a baby, but nobody ever says I want to have a teenager!" It's probably for the best people don't think that far ahead. I'm growing gray hair at a prodigious rate right now, and my oldest still has six months before she's actually a teen.
  - ihaveajob 4y ago
    > A related joke I have is that everyone talks about the terrible twos, but says nothing about threes. Because it turns out that two year old tantrums are sort of adorable, and if we told people what happens next, they would never take off the condom. Ah, the threenager!
    - vlachen 4y ago
      Then the Fournado. After that, the Fuck-You-I'm-Five.
  - TeMPOraL 4y ago
    > Because it turns out that two year old tantrums are sort of adorable, and if we told people what happens next, they would never take off the condom. Spoiler alert: even more tantrums, which also last longer and are trickier to defuse. Talking them out of one gets more difficult, as the kid will likely talk back, and might even catch you in the act of committing logical fallacies, because in this period of time, their 3yo brain works better than your sleep-deprived one. On the other hand, the feats of logic my kid performs to argue their case - hearing them almost makes up for all of it.
    - vlachen 4y ago
      Ours has a rep of being a little lawyer. They can be quite persuasive. We used to say "We don't negotiate with terrorists" until that started getting screamed out at daycare, then we had to put it away.
  - sam_goody 4y ago
    I have several teens, and have adopted several more [As in, there are over a hundred teenagers that feel comfortable in my house.] It is awesome. Teenagers are the best age group there is. I highly suggest that people take a book or two on parenting and seriously adopt what they have to say. Raise your kids from a young age on the premise that you want to have a relationship that will last till you die. (In my experience, the best book I've read is "Raise your children without raising your voice".) Set aside time and effort to make the relationship work for real. This is an investment and will not invest itself. Religion is important, family is important, cellphone use should be filtered and limited in a matter-of-fact way from when they are first getting a cellphone. [OK, phones are a big deal to get right, but this is not a blog.] The result is relationships with your own kids that have unbounded energy, talent, resources, interest, etc. - that are just going out on their own to explore the world and conquer it. Well, well, worth the investment.
- PragmaticPulp 4y ago
  As a parent, hard disagree. Yes, parenting can be challenging and a lot of work at times. However, it’s silly to let the first few difficult months define decisions that impact the entire rest of your life. It’s not that we forget that the early months are difficult. It’s that we realize they’re temporary and that they’re worth enduring.
  - Cyph0n 4y ago
    It is indeed extremely rewarding. I still think that the fact that our memory is not perfect recall is a true blessing. It allows us to make a life changing decision once again based on incomplete information.
  - Tade0 4y ago
    I for one have very few memories of the early months - mostly milestones really. I have several videos of things I don't remember doing or saying.
- bartvk 4y ago
  I once read a statistic that said: the greatest predictor of your own family size is what your friends' family size is. When I read that, I thought to myself: if I don't take others into account, what do I personally want? We now have one daughter and there's not going to be more kids.
- nytesky 4y ago
  We call that momnesia, probably a result of the brain damage from lack of sleep.
zwieback 4y ago
Without a doubt! Also my energy level is probably lower now so I'm sure it would be even harder.
rootusrootus 4y ago
Really young kids are so easy, I can understand the nostalgia. The worst they do is cry? And you have to do diapers? These are trivial things. Tweens, on the other hand... ugh, lots of fun in different ways, but lots more worry & stress too. And if I'm to believe my own mother, this does not recede when they leave home as adults, it actually gets worse.
- TeMPOraL 4y ago
  This really seems to be the pattern no one talks about: no matter the age bracket, when your kids get to the next one, it gets worse.
  - atq2119 4y ago
    Let me add a data point in the other direction. The first ~six months of my kid's life was by far the worst time for me. Yes, there were other challenges as he got older. But the sleep deprivation of that first period was awful in a way that is difficult to put into words.
    - TeMPOraL 4y ago
      I guess we were lucky then. The first ~6 months meant interrupted sleep, but it was somehow easier to bear than e.g. the 2-3yo period, when our older daughter refused to go to sleep before 23:00 - 00:00, and would wake up on her own around 06:00 anyway. But whichever way it turns for someone, what you note is true: sleep deprivation is awful, and it's hard to describe just how much and how.
    - igortg 4y ago
      Fully agree. Sleep deprivation and the part where they get sick and aren't able to say a thing about the symptoms. Is also a period that is not very rewarding (they mostly sleep, eat and poop... although the small interactions are awesome).
    - boringg 4y ago
      For the first kid its the two punch combo: lack of sleep and a completely new lifestyle that you are adapting too. Most people forget that there is a massive lifestyle change that can be hard depending on the lifestage you are at before the adjustment.
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

TeMPOraL 4y ago

That sounds like typical grandparents - their grandchildren are oh so cute and sweet and so well-behaved, perfect and all. They sometimes change the tune after first time they're left with their grandchildren for more than half a day, while parents are away.