We have those things, we call them spreadsheet cells. A spreadsheet cell is an object in that it has a state tied to some procedural code that computes the sta

We have those things, we call them spreadsheet cells. A spreadsheet cell is an object in that it has a state tied to some procedural code that computes the state, possibly in reference to other cells, possibly just in that the identity function is, indeed, a function. The point is, the vast majority of the procedural stuff, the state updates and the method invocations, are implicit, just as the gotos become implicit when you use while loops. Using objects to represent real-world entities was always a somewhat loopy idea, and one that obscured the real power of OO as it is now: The ability to abstract over kinds of behavior using inheritance or mix-ins. "This type has the Ordinal behavior set" or "This function can accept any value of any type with the Printable behavior set" is a powerful leg-up for procedural programming and shouldn't be ignored, but it is, fundamentally, an improvement to procedural programming, and not a wholly new way to think about code.