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When I get nervous from what my kid is doing and feel an urge to tell him to stop, I try to ask myself "what's the worst that could happen". If the answer is "b
by halgir 4y ago
When I get nervous from what my kid is doing and feel an urge to tell him to stop, I try to ask myself "what's the worst that could happen". If the answer is "break a bone", I try to stop myself from saying anything. Though I'll still subtly maneuver myself into catching position.
- schwartzworld 4y agoAt the zoo near us there's a really great climbing structure. It's three stories tall. I overheard a dad there tell another dad "I used to get really nervous when I watch my kids play on this. So I decided to stop watching them."
- a_c 4y agoYou definitely have higher tolerance. I was trying to not have my children's bone broken. But as sister comment pointed out, maybe I should stop watching them climb too
- halgir 4y agoI prefer for him to not break bones. If an activity is 50% likely to involve bone-breaking, I'll step in. But if that really is the worst that could happen, and is unlikely to do so, then I'll try not to.
- a_c 4y agoThanks for sharing. I'm stealing your mentality from now on :)
- halgir 4y agoThank you! At the end of the day, you have to raise your children in a way that's comfortable to you. Even if there were a scientifically "correct" template for raising every child, your own discomfort will shine through if it just doesn't work for you personally, and they'll pick up on that. I take comfort in knowing that humans have been raising humans for a million years, and it usually works out alright. That must mean our own instincts are mostly good enough. Also want to point out what another commenter mentioned; technically anything that can break a bone can do more damage than that.
- falcolas 4y agoNot that I disagree with your overall philosophy, but I just want to point out that anything that provides enough force to break a bone provides enough force to kill you if you don't land well. Perhaps some training in how to fall would be valuable too.
- halgir 4y agoYou're right, and every situation has nuance we can only intuit. Ultimately, I believe active play is important for his well-being, just like it's important that I take him places even if that involves a potentially lethal bicycle ride next to car traffic. Of course, if anything terrible were ever to happen, I'll probably beat myself up over it and be certain I took too many unnecessary risks. Those are the odds we play for ourselves and our loved ones every day.
- jiggawatts 4y agoI keep repeating to myself that developing brains learn physics one ouchy at a time. Last month the lesson was momentum, this month it is gravity.