4 ms·
Whether a statement is victim-blaming or not depends on the purpose behind it. If the purpose behind it is to give helpful, relevant, useful advice for avoidin
by vkou 4y ago
Whether a statement is victim-blaming or not depends on the purpose behind it.
If the purpose behind it is to give helpful, relevant, useful advice for avoiding a bad situation, it's not victim blaming.
If the purpose behind it is to downplay and deflect and ignore the other causes of the bad situation, it is.
If someone isn't wearing a seatbelt, and dies in an auto accident, it's not victim blaming to remind people to wear seatbelts. It is victim blaming to use that reminder to divert attention away from the fact that the auto accident was caused by another drunk driver.
- SoftTalker 4y agoEither way, you're dead. Why is it wrong to point out things that could have been done to avoid that outcome?
- vkou 4y agoFor the same reason that there's a difference between giving constructive criticism, and being an asshole. Intent and tone matters. It's especially easy to misread, misspeak, or misrepresent either one on the internet.
- jfengel 4y agoHonestly, my purpose was neither. This is, thus far, a localized matter, and it's unlikely to affect most men. The advice is sound, but that's not really the purpose. (And it was very much not intended to blame them.) Rather, my purpose was to use the opportunity to give men perspective about women. And it's something they can use to their benefit: not to avoid being robbed, but to have more successful dates.