This problem feels like a no runtime type problem. Highly dynamic languages have tonnes of grim problems like this, that they have to deal with because there is

This problem feels like a no runtime type problem. Highly dynamic languages have tonnes of grim problems like this, that they have to deal with because there is no good type information anywhere so stats at runtime is how you optimise. Raku for example has a lot of specialising runtime optimisations where all the virtual function calls get specialised and become dynamic by exception when the VM executes code.