4 ms·

It annoys me that this article keeps equating being alone to loneliness. Not everyone feels lonely while alone for extended periods of time. I can spend months

It annoys me that this article keeps equating being alone to loneliness. Not everyone feels lonely while alone for extended periods of time. I can spend months alone and never feel lonely.

achairapart 4y ago
I'm a bit like you, I do like my time being alone and I almost never feel lonely. But I also know people who do silly things when facing the fear of being alone. For them, perhaps being alone equals to loneliness. For sure, it makes them suffer.
nicoburns 4y ago
When you say you can spend months alone, do you mean literally alone - not interacting with anyone during that time at all?
- danwee 4y ago
  I would say they mean minimal interaction: going to the supermarket and say 'Thanks' to the cashier and things like that...
  - yamazakiwi 4y ago
    sometimes minimal, sometimes absolute zero
- yamazakiwi 4y ago
  I used to do it a lot in the military, months alone in a server room on a ship, eating alone because I'm working nights. This might sound like a nightmare to some but it's my most extreme example and I loved it. Honestly, it's relaxing not having to deal with people's problems all the time. I deal with people very frequently in my current role and I miss the peace and quiet. Most psychologists will tell you "we're very social creatures" but I was VERY social for so long that now it just feels like a waste of my time. People are quick to throw their problems on everyone around them, I get tired of the neediness, the games people play, the ego trips, all of it. It's sort of like a been there, done that, not interested anymore.
  - rootusrootus 4y ago
    That is being alone, without really being alone. I like it, too. I find it relaxing to know everyone is around, but also not have to interact directly with anyone individually.
    - yamazakiwi 4y ago
      That's an interesting point, I didn't think about that. That probably contributes to a positive experience for some.
giantg2 4y ago
And some people can be with others and still feel lonely.
syedkarim 4y ago
And it’s also possible to experience loneliness while being surrounded by people.
- jimt1234 4y ago
  This ^^^ Being surrounded by people and feeling lonely is a lot worse than simply not being around people.
lapcat 4y ago
> It annoys me that this article keeps equating being alone to loneliness. It doesn't: "Social isolation, a related condition, is different — it’s an objective measure of how few relationships a person has. The experience of loneliness has to be self-reported"
- yamazakiwi 4y ago
  It does... It states that yes; ironically, it also uses them interchangeably multiple times throughout the article.
  - throwanem 4y ago
    The next article from Quanta I see that's not at least this sloppy will be the first. It requires a good deal of critique in the reading to extract anything of value.
_yb2s 4y ago
Exactly, the two are quite different. I have felt very lonely when at home with a romantic partner in a bad relationship. At other times, I have felt no loneliness while in the wilderness by myself for extended time periods, knowing I have a great network of friends, family, and a supportive partner whenever I need them.
carapace 4y ago
I think what you're talking about is "solitude", which is a kind of inverse of loneliness in that gives you a kind of inner strength rather than taking health away.

It annoys me that this article keeps equating being alone to loneliness. Not everyone feels lonely while alone for extended periods of time. I can spend months alone and never feel lonely.

achairapart 4y ago

I'm a bit like you, I do like my time being alone and I almost never feel lonely. But I also know people who do silly things when facing the fear of being alone. For them, perhaps being alone equals to loneliness. For sure, it makes them suffer.

nicoburns 4y ago

When you say you can spend months alone, do you mean literally alone - not interacting with anyone during that time at all?

danwee 4y ago
I would say they mean minimal interaction: going to the supermarket and say 'Thanks' to the cashier and things like that...
- yamazakiwi 4y ago
  sometimes minimal, sometimes absolute zero
yamazakiwi 4y ago
I used to do it a lot in the military, months alone in a server room on a ship, eating alone because I'm working nights. This might sound like a nightmare to some but it's my most extreme example and I loved it. Honestly, it's relaxing not having to deal with people's problems all the time. I deal with people very frequently in my current role and I miss the peace and quiet. Most psychologists will tell you "we're very social creatures" but I was VERY social for so long that now it just feels like a waste of my time. People are quick to throw their problems on everyone around them, I get tired of the neediness, the games people play, the ego trips, all of it. It's sort of like a been there, done that, not interested anymore.
- rootusrootus 4y ago
  That is being alone, without really being alone. I like it, too. I find it relaxing to know everyone is around, but also not have to interact directly with anyone individually.
  - yamazakiwi 4y ago
    That's an interesting point, I didn't think about that. That probably contributes to a positive experience for some.

giantg2 4y ago

And some people can be with others and still feel lonely.

syedkarim 4y ago

And it’s also possible to experience loneliness while being surrounded by people.

jimt1234 4y ago
This ^^^ Being surrounded by people and feeling lonely is a lot worse than simply not being around people.

lapcat 4y ago

> It annoys me that this article keeps equating being alone to loneliness. It doesn't: "Social isolation, a related condition, is different — it’s an objective measure of how few relationships a person has. The experience of loneliness has to be self-reported"

yamazakiwi 4y ago
It does... It states that yes; ironically, it also uses them interchangeably multiple times throughout the article.
- throwanem 4y ago
  The next article from Quanta I see that's not at least this sloppy will be the first. It requires a good deal of critique in the reading to extract anything of value.

_yb2s 4y ago

Exactly, the two are quite different. I have felt very lonely when at home with a romantic partner in a bad relationship. At other times, I have felt no loneliness while in the wilderness by myself for extended time periods, knowing I have a great network of friends, family, and a supportive partner whenever I need them.

carapace 4y ago

I think what you're talking about is "solitude", which is a kind of inverse of loneliness in that gives you a kind of inner strength rather than taking health away.