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It's the "appropriate" that gives it the negative connotation. Maybe you meant "the responsibilities necessary to feel an age", but it came off as "the responsi
by BobbyJo 4y ago
It's the "appropriate" that gives it the negative connotation. Maybe you meant "the responsibilities necessary to feel an age", but it came off as "the responsibilities you should have at an age".
- xyzelement 4y agoGood clarification prompt, thank you. I meant the former definition but they are intertwined for me so it makes sense that it came out ambiguously. To elaborate: As I grow up, I see in myself and others a deeper life satisfaction from being parents/grandparents at "the appropriate age." This was not obvious to me when I was 20-30. So I don't mean for "appropriate" to suggest you owe it to anybody to reproduce, but I do believe that it's a path most likely to yield the most satisfaction for a typical person. (As an analogy, I can say the "appropriate" weight for a 6 ft tall man like me is 170-180LBs. That doesn't mean that I am obligated to lose 20LBs, just that my life would be better if I did)
- yencabulator 4y agoYeah you still sound judgy, and assuming a typical person must agree with you.
- xyzelement 4y agoI think I am OK with that. In my book it's fine to have an opinion of what can be good for others, as long as I am clear that it's ultimately their life, their choice, and I don't have all the context anyway. So I try to be honest about the patterns I see and opinions that I have (ie, "what would I do if that were me?") while being super open to being wrong.