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When I was using Tinder, I went from hey to elaborate openers and then back to hey. There are two reasons to it 1) Is photos are _way_ more important and the f

When I was using Tinder, I went from hey to elaborate openers and then back to hey. There are two reasons to it 1) Is photos are _way_ more important and the first message doesn't really affect the reply rate 2) It's a way to filter out recipients who think they are too good for hey or not going to reply anyway (window shopping or whatever they call it) >Dudes are pathetic That was subtle. I recognized the irony only upon looking at your username ;)

est31 4y ago
Yeah "hey" might just be a single word but it carries a lot of meaning: it asks for "are you really interested in a conversation with me, then please reply with a 'hey' of your own". It also says "I have time now to have a conversation, and I do want to have it. Want to chat right now?". It provides a baseline from which one can base how quickly someone is responding, which can be used to judge interest from the other party. My expectation when sending a "hey" is not a "yes, i want to marry", it's another low-effort "hi :)" or something like that. This has its meanings of its own, by providing answers to the two questions above. It says that she has ideally given your profile a second look and does indeed want to have a conversation with you, on that app. Yes, after the "hey" I had people tell me that they don't like talking on the app but you should follow them on instagram (likely they won't respond to you there either), or offered me various paid services. Writing "hey" provides a great filter for me, too. And yes, I was actually able to start meaningful conversations after the first "hey" warm-up. The problem on dating apps is that with many profiles, you cannot start any conversation specific to those profiles due to them not revealing anything about themselves in the profile. Even if a woman reveals a little bit about herself in the pictures or in the bio, she will probably receive whatever specific-to-her starter you can think of in 20 different variations. Yes, you were not the only one who saw the famous monument in the background that she's been to. Yes, you were not the only one to notice that she likes avocado toast. She is literally talking with dozens of other people who also only saw that monument picture and the avocado toast line.
- postsantum 4y ago
  I feel like noticing avocado toast is not a big deal. It's just a way to show you are not a weirdo, a sanity test. You are not offering to fuck right now and you can undestand some basic laws of conversation - a date material!
  - est31 4y ago
    I don't know, personally I have made the experience that the population which is not happy about a "hey" will likely be similarly unhappy about a message about an avocado toast, at least if that's the very first message. If the message is a few hours/days after a "hey" that might in fact increase its chances, for a multitude of reasons. But still, "hey" would be the first message in that instance.

est31 4y ago

Yeah "hey" might just be a single word but it carries a lot of meaning: it asks for "are you really interested in a conversation with me, then please reply with a 'hey' of your own". It also says "I have time now to have a conversation, and I do want to have it. Want to chat right now?". It provides a baseline from which one can base how quickly someone is responding, which can be used to judge interest from the other party. My expectation when sending a "hey" is not a "yes, i want to marry", it's another low-effort "hi :)" or something like that. This has its meanings of its own, by providing answers to the two questions above. It says that she has ideally given your profile a second look and does indeed want to have a conversation with you, on that app. Yes, after the "hey" I had people tell me that they don't like talking on the app but you should follow them on instagram (likely they won't respond to you there either), or offered me various paid services. Writing "hey" provides a great filter for me, too. And yes, I was actually able to start meaningful conversations after the first "hey" warm-up. The problem on dating apps is that with many profiles, you cannot start any conversation specific to those profiles due to them not revealing anything about themselves in the profile. Even if a woman reveals a little bit about herself in the pictures or in the bio, she will probably receive whatever specific-to-her starter you can think of in 20 different variations. Yes, you were not the only one who saw the famous monument in the background that she's been to. Yes, you were not the only one to notice that she likes avocado toast. She is literally talking with dozens of other people who also only saw that monument picture and the avocado toast line.

postsantum 4y ago
I feel like noticing avocado toast is not a big deal. It's just a way to show you are not a weirdo, a sanity test. You are not offering to fuck right now and you can undestand some basic laws of conversation - a date material!
- est31 4y ago
  I don't know, personally I have made the experience that the population which is not happy about a "hey" will likely be similarly unhappy about a message about an avocado toast, at least if that's the very first message. If the message is a few hours/days after a "hey" that might in fact increase its chances, for a multitude of reasons. But still, "hey" would be the first message in that instance.