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FWIW — and not to criticize you, I’m a parent and know what you’re going through — evolution didn’t do this to us, we did. If we look at our closest relatives,

FWIW — and not to criticize you, I’m a parent and know what you’re going through — evolution didn’t do this to us, we did. If we look at our closest relatives, the other primates, infants all sleep snuggled with their mothers. As they get older, they snuggle together or with other relatives. It’s very rare for any of them to sleep alone. Imagine a baby chimp or gorilla waking up alone in the forest after having fallen asleep snuggled with its mother. Of course it would be terrified, of course it would cry for help. Many modern cultures choose to make infants sleep alone. That doesn’t do away with the infant’s hard-wired responses, long-set in its genome.

jrowley 4y ago
But to be clear, it's very dangerous to sleep with a baby especially if they are preterm / high risk.
- EL_Loco 4y ago
  If the mother doesn't drink/smoke, has normal sleep, and the baby is healthy, it's not considered dangerous and was practiced by all of humankind for most of its past. Separate rooms and separate beds are a very, very recent invention. For most of humankind's history mothers slept with their babies.
  - joyeuse6701 4y ago
    For most of human history, infant mortality rates were much higher than they are now with the application of science.
    - nraford 4y ago
      Yes but due to malnutrition, dysentery, accidents and a general lack of public health and medical care, not because their parents crushed them in their sleep. I slept with my kid (I'm a father) for almost a year and trust me, you're still deeply aware of them when they're next to you. Smothering does happen, statistically speaking, but the odds are so tiny and the benefits so great, it's basically a misinformation campaign based on bunk 1950's science.
      - infecto 4y ago
        100%, I think what has happened is smothering/SIDS/co-sleeping deaths got kinda lumped together into a single statistic and I know at least for me as a new parent it really freaked me out. When I read more into the numbers it seemed that where co-sleeping has a real risk is when it happens outside of the bed, when the caretaker falls asleep in a chair. All of the deaths get lumped together and we are just told that you need to X so you reduce the risk of SIDs. It kinda sucks because it is so hard being a new parent, it would be nice to better understand up front what the real risks are.
- infecto 4y ago
  Like all things there are risks and some things have greater risk than others but are still low enough that they are not worrisome enough. There is a lot of misinformation around SIDs and its relationship with co-sleeping. Co-sleeping is riskier than the baby sleeping in its own bed but generally not measurably so. Where a lot of co-sleeping deaths happen is when the caretaker falls sleep in a chair or a couch holding the baby and baby falls or gets into a bad breathing position. The number of deaths from smothering do exist but pale in comparison. Of course every baby/person is different and you have to find what works for you as a parent.
HyperSane 4y ago
Co-sleeping with infants often ends with the mother smothering the infant.
- sonofhans 4y ago
  Not true. “Often” in this context is a wild overstatement. Humans around the world have co-slept with infants for thousands of years and it’s generally safe. There are known risk factors for infant smothering during sleep. E.g., parental drinking or smoking, infant low birth weight or respiratory issues (as a sibling comment said). Education and care control for these well.
  - waterhouse 4y ago
    Plus, with today's technology, it seems it shouldn't be that difficult to have a machine detect if the baby is getting smothered, and wake up the parents with a loud alarm if so. Some googling yields "The 6 Best Baby Breathing Monitors".
- andrei_says_ 4y ago
  This is wrong to the point of absurdity. A simple bed attachment prevents such scenarios 100%. https://www.pinterest.com/WalkingWomanCO/baby-bed-attachments/ https://www.pinterest.com/WalkingWomanCO/baby-bed-attachment... Insisting that human babies cry themselves to sleep night after night, solidifying neuropathways of despair and terror before anything else is insane. Also, somehow culturally acceptable so it’s become the default.
- infecto 4y ago
  False, co-sleeping while not in a bed has a high risk of injury to the infant. Co-sleeping in a bed is of course riskier than not sharing a bed with a baby but is no where near as high as co-sleeping happening outside of the bed.
  - HyperSane 4y ago
    I thought that co-sleeping meant sleeping in the same bed with your infant. Does it just mean being in the same room?

jrowley 4y ago

But to be clear, it's very dangerous to sleep with a baby especially if they are preterm / high risk.

EL_Loco 4y ago
If the mother doesn't drink/smoke, has normal sleep, and the baby is healthy, it's not considered dangerous and was practiced by all of humankind for most of its past. Separate rooms and separate beds are a very, very recent invention. For most of humankind's history mothers slept with their babies.
- joyeuse6701 4y ago
  For most of human history, infant mortality rates were much higher than they are now with the application of science.
  - nraford 4y ago
    Yes but due to malnutrition, dysentery, accidents and a general lack of public health and medical care, not because their parents crushed them in their sleep. I slept with my kid (I'm a father) for almost a year and trust me, you're still deeply aware of them when they're next to you. Smothering does happen, statistically speaking, but the odds are so tiny and the benefits so great, it's basically a misinformation campaign based on bunk 1950's science.
    - infecto 4y ago
      100%, I think what has happened is smothering/SIDS/co-sleeping deaths got kinda lumped together into a single statistic and I know at least for me as a new parent it really freaked me out. When I read more into the numbers it seemed that where co-sleeping has a real risk is when it happens outside of the bed, when the caretaker falls asleep in a chair. All of the deaths get lumped together and we are just told that you need to X so you reduce the risk of SIDs. It kinda sucks because it is so hard being a new parent, it would be nice to better understand up front what the real risks are.
infecto 4y ago
Like all things there are risks and some things have greater risk than others but are still low enough that they are not worrisome enough. There is a lot of misinformation around SIDs and its relationship with co-sleeping. Co-sleeping is riskier than the baby sleeping in its own bed but generally not measurably so. Where a lot of co-sleeping deaths happen is when the caretaker falls sleep in a chair or a couch holding the baby and baby falls or gets into a bad breathing position. The number of deaths from smothering do exist but pale in comparison. Of course every baby/person is different and you have to find what works for you as a parent.

HyperSane 4y ago

Co-sleeping with infants often ends with the mother smothering the infant.

sonofhans 4y ago
Not true. “Often” in this context is a wild overstatement. Humans around the world have co-slept with infants for thousands of years and it’s generally safe. There are known risk factors for infant smothering during sleep. E.g., parental drinking or smoking, infant low birth weight or respiratory issues (as a sibling comment said). Education and care control for these well.
- waterhouse 4y ago
  Plus, with today's technology, it seems it shouldn't be that difficult to have a machine detect if the baby is getting smothered, and wake up the parents with a loud alarm if so. Some googling yields "The 6 Best Baby Breathing Monitors".
andrei_says_ 4y ago
This is wrong to the point of absurdity. A simple bed attachment prevents such scenarios 100%. https://www.pinterest.com/WalkingWomanCO/baby-bed-attachments/ https://www.pinterest.com/WalkingWomanCO/baby-bed-attachment... Insisting that human babies cry themselves to sleep night after night, solidifying neuropathways of despair and terror before anything else is insane. Also, somehow culturally acceptable so it’s become the default.
infecto 4y ago
False, co-sleeping while not in a bed has a high risk of injury to the infant. Co-sleeping in a bed is of course riskier than not sharing a bed with a baby but is no where near as high as co-sleeping happening outside of the bed.
- HyperSane 4y ago
  I thought that co-sleeping meant sleeping in the same bed with your infant. Does it just mean being in the same room?