3 ms·

Curious how old other formerly closeted queer folks feel (particularly those who came out as adults). I have felt 30 since I hit puberty. I imagine it's from be

• mrbabbage 4y ago
  As someone who came out at 18 (technically an adult), both: - younger—I had a vastly accelerated "social puberty" bc I started so much later than most folks. - older—for the reason you mentioned. - but now younger again—I don't feel the same pressure to have biokids, and thus not beholden to the "biological clock" that forces birthing parents to start families in their 30s. I'm 32 and just went back to school, because why not! Plus, the pressure of the white gay dating scene forces me to take better care of myself (sleep, diet, exercise), which also make me feel younger.
• notahacker 4y ago
  Think I've generally been 19 since the age of 19. Mostly to do with energy and uncertainty about life direction that has nothing to do with sexuality, but most friends my age have kids... In my earlier teens I might have been able to sound like a young adult talking about something like politics, but if anything I was all the more early teenager in terms of uncertainty over sexuality and how people would react.
• omgwtfbyobbq 4y ago
  That sounds right. I feel similarly for different reasons (have to be vigilant and police my own behavior because of health issues).
• frimsah 4y ago
  I think you're on to something with the expanded self-consciousness that comes with always monitoring your own behavior/body language at the onset of puberty. I think there are other situations where a young person would also develop this kind of hyper vigilance. For me it's always made me feel older than my peers like you say.