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> [...] he had to stop looking for validation at the "quality of my results" and instead had to feel pride at the "quality of my effort." Something I have kept
by rudasn 4y ago
> [...] he had to stop looking for validation at the "quality of my results" and instead had to feel pride at the "quality of my effort." Something I have kept in mind.
Along the same lines, is the realisation that we tend to judge (?) others by the outcome of their efforts, but we judge ourselves by the outcome of our thoughts. I've read that somewhere, certainly more eloquently put, but it also stuck - esp. afrer having kids.
- nativeit 4y agoUnless it’s some other creative variation on the same theme, that sentiment is referring to what I learned in my college psych classes as the “Fundamental Attribution Error”. Simply put, the fundamental attribution error says that part of our nature leads us to attribute more of our own behavior to being the result of a nuanced blend of circumstances and external influences, while the behavior of others gets more associated with who they are and the internal choices they made with little or no consideration to forces beyond their control. It intuitively makes sense that this is the case, and for some reason it really stuck with me (it’s been 16-years since that class). Committing to working against this nearly universal implicit bias led me to being a more empathetic person over time.