2 ms·

I think this is just the aftermath (and also, ongoing) of boomer culture. Before that generation, you generally had kids in your late 20s and grandkids in your

I think this is just the aftermath (and also, ongoing) of boomer culture. Before that generation, you generally had kids in your late 20s and grandkids in your 50s. If you were 80, you were a great grandparent. All these titles conveyed an age. By the time you were those ages, you acted that age. Boomers I think invented the 40 is the new 30 and 70 is the new 50 nonsense, so of course they are confused about what age they are. It's easy to "feel 20" when you haven't taken on the appropriate responsibility. I am an example of that. I am 41, only married 3 years, to a younger woman and we have a baby and a toddler. Just bought a house etc. Very easy to feel young with all that, but the reality is I am more like "late to the party" - this all should have happened 10-14 years ago. I'd feel "older" if my kid was going into highschool rather than pre-school right now.

yencabulator 4y ago
Just so you know, "haven't taken on the appropriate responsibility" really sounds like you are judging people whose life choices differ from yours. Nobody has a responsibility to procreate.
- xyzelement 4y ago
  I am talking about responsibility as in being responsible for people (spouse, kids, grandkids in this case.) It's easier to "feel young" when you don't have that.
  - BobbyJo 4y ago
    It's the "appropriate" that gives it the negative connotation. Maybe you meant "the responsibilities necessary to feel an age", but it came off as "the responsibilities you should have at an age".
    - xyzelement 4y ago
      Good clarification prompt, thank you. I meant the former definition but they are intertwined for me so it makes sense that it came out ambiguously. To elaborate: As I grow up, I see in myself and others a deeper life satisfaction from being parents/grandparents at "the appropriate age." This was not obvious to me when I was 20-30. So I don't mean for "appropriate" to suggest you owe it to anybody to reproduce, but I do believe that it's a path most likely to yield the most satisfaction for a typical person. (As an analogy, I can say the "appropriate" weight for a 6 ft tall man like me is 170-180LBs. That doesn't mean that I am obligated to lose 20LBs, just that my life would be better if I did)
      - yencabulator 4y ago
        Yeah you still sound judgy, and assuming a typical person must agree with you.
        xyzelement 4y ago
        I think I am OK with that. In my book it's fine to have an opinion of what can be good for others, as long as I am clear that it's ultimately their life, their choice, and I don't have all the context anyway. So I try to be honest about the patterns I see and opinions that I have (ie, "what would I do if that were me?") while being super open to being wrong.

yencabulator 4y ago

Just so you know, "haven't taken on the appropriate responsibility" really sounds like you are judging people whose life choices differ from yours. Nobody has a responsibility to procreate.

xyzelement 4y ago
I am talking about responsibility as in being responsible for people (spouse, kids, grandkids in this case.) It's easier to "feel young" when you don't have that.
- BobbyJo 4y ago
  It's the "appropriate" that gives it the negative connotation. Maybe you meant "the responsibilities necessary to feel an age", but it came off as "the responsibilities you should have at an age".
  - xyzelement 4y ago
    Good clarification prompt, thank you. I meant the former definition but they are intertwined for me so it makes sense that it came out ambiguously. To elaborate: As I grow up, I see in myself and others a deeper life satisfaction from being parents/grandparents at "the appropriate age." This was not obvious to me when I was 20-30. So I don't mean for "appropriate" to suggest you owe it to anybody to reproduce, but I do believe that it's a path most likely to yield the most satisfaction for a typical person. (As an analogy, I can say the "appropriate" weight for a 6 ft tall man like me is 170-180LBs. That doesn't mean that I am obligated to lose 20LBs, just that my life would be better if I did)
    - yencabulator 4y ago
      Yeah you still sound judgy, and assuming a typical person must agree with you.
      - xyzelement 4y ago
        I think I am OK with that. In my book it's fine to have an opinion of what can be good for others, as long as I am clear that it's ultimately their life, their choice, and I don't have all the context anyway. So I try to be honest about the patterns I see and opinions that I have (ie, "what would I do if that were me?") while being super open to being wrong.