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I'm not convinced that any of that is bad. >the people who chime in the most about their careers are those whose careers (and relationships) are going the best

I'm not convinced that any of that is bad. >the people who chime in the most about their careers are those whose careers (and relationships) are going the best As it should be. Only a very small minority of people have careers or relationships worth emulating, and they should be setting examples for everyone else to aspire to. Lucy is upset because she knows that she can do better. She sees people who are no smarter and no better than her getting much more out of life, and she is rightfully disgusted with her mediocrity. Personal anecdote- at one time I made 30k a year, and I actually thought that was good. I thought it was good because I made more than my friends. Then I started hanging out on Blind and /r/cscareerquestions. I got a CS degree and a job paying $70k a year, but felt like a failure because everyone on Blind seems to make more. As soon as I could I hopped to a higher paying role, but still felt poor. But I'm not complaining now. Peer pressure from social media pushed me to build a great career, even if it made me feel miserable and inadequate for a time. Is it better to be happy and complacent? I don't think so.

texaslonghorn5 4y ago
there's a lot to unpack in this comment but I'll pick off one point and maybe others will contest the rest > Only a very small minority of people have careers or relationships worth emulating, and they should be setting examples for everyone else to aspire to. Of those that have relationships worth emulating I doubt they are parasocially broadcasting it for the world to see. To the contrary, most of these images that you see on social media are heavily curated and manicured and don't really reflect reality.
cultureswitch 4y ago
Most people's social animal brains cannot really deal with being consistently shown to be low status individuals without starting to act like low status individuals: defensively and risk-aversely. This is an unconscious reflex, you cannot control how anyone perceives your social worth, including yourself. The problem is that it tends to be a vicious circle: once you start behaving in a weak way due to illusions, people will perceive you negatively and it will become harder to bounce back for real.

texaslonghorn5 4y ago

there's a lot to unpack in this comment but I'll pick off one point and maybe others will contest the rest > Only a very small minority of people have careers or relationships worth emulating, and they should be setting examples for everyone else to aspire to. Of those that have relationships worth emulating I doubt they are parasocially broadcasting it for the world to see. To the contrary, most of these images that you see on social media are heavily curated and manicured and don't really reflect reality.

cultureswitch 4y ago

Most people's social animal brains cannot really deal with being consistently shown to be low status individuals without starting to act like low status individuals: defensively and risk-aversely. This is an unconscious reflex, you cannot control how anyone perceives your social worth, including yourself. The problem is that it tends to be a vicious circle: once you start behaving in a weak way due to illusions, people will perceive you negatively and it will become harder to bounce back for real.