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I tried Tinder (and Hinge) as an average looking guy and found it to be dehumanizing. I rarely got matches, the matches I got usually didn't respond to my messa

I tried Tinder (and Hinge) as an average looking guy and found it to be dehumanizing. I rarely got matches, the matches I got usually didn't respond to my messages, and even when they did I could tell they weren't invested in the interaction. I've got a great job, a decent face, I work out, I've got friends, family, hobbies, and passions. I genuinely like myself; I'm satisfied with my life and my personal development. But I'm not in the top n% of attractiveness, so nobody cared. I know the solution is to focus on in-person dating and building genuine connections with people in the real world, but I've had no success with that either. I asked my friends if they knew anyone they could set me up with, but nobody did. My job and my hobbies are male dominated. Every activity in my area (a large US tech hub) that I've tried is male dominated except for yoga. Maybe things will change as I get older (I'm in my early twenties), but if things continue as they are now it will take a minor miracle for me to find a relationship before I die. I just feel so lost, I don't know what to do. Maybe this is oversharing, but I just wanted to get it out there. Thanks for reading.

stuckinhell 4y ago
Sounds like article is correct than. https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/3868557-most-young-men-are-single-most-young-women-are-not/ https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/3868557-most-yo...
orangecat 4y ago
Maybe things will change as I get older (I'm in my early twenties) It will. Men in their 20s are disadvantaged for the same reason that women in their 40s are: there's a lot more younger women dating older men than the reverse. The numbers will gradually shift in your favor over time. And yeah, Tinder is usually a bad deal for everyone except the most attractive men, and women who prefer hookups to relationships.
- OkayPhysicist 4y ago
  Specifically, there are a lot more young women willing to date older men than there are young men willing to date older women. Those that are find absolutely no problem doing so.
MandieD 4y ago
Cheer up - I met the man I married via the Yahoo personals (now that shows my age!) when he was 32, and was his first serious girlfriend. Just keep enjoying and putting effort into your work, family, friends and hobbies, and you’ll be a more attractive potential partner at 30 than the guys who mostly have their looks to offer. And maybe try learning how to knit.
ryloric 4y ago
You're very very young, you're not gonna die before you find a partner.
ggfhvt6yyghvhuf 4y ago
I am saying this as a now married man with a kid. Don't rush it ( unless you really, really want to ). Enjoy yourself. It is the best time of your life and we just can't tell when we are in it for some reason. Things will happen on their own. No reason to force it.
- cubefox 4y ago
  I can confirm for me (n=1) that things will not happen on their own when you are not trying to "force it". For sufficiently high attractiveness men, things probably do happen on their own, but for others they definitely don't.
alexpetralia 4y ago
Keep in mind the idea that you should be going on oodles of dates also comes from media and social media. Take your time.

stuckinhell 4y ago

Sounds like article is correct than. https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/3868557-most-young-men-are-single-most-young-women-are-not/ https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/3868557-most-yo...

orangecat 4y ago

Maybe things will change as I get older (I'm in my early twenties) It will. Men in their 20s are disadvantaged for the same reason that women in their 40s are: there's a lot more younger women dating older men than the reverse. The numbers will gradually shift in your favor over time. And yeah, Tinder is usually a bad deal for everyone except the most attractive men, and women who prefer hookups to relationships.

OkayPhysicist 4y ago
Specifically, there are a lot more young women willing to date older men than there are young men willing to date older women. Those that are find absolutely no problem doing so.

MandieD 4y ago

Cheer up - I met the man I married via the Yahoo personals (now that shows my age!) when he was 32, and was his first serious girlfriend. Just keep enjoying and putting effort into your work, family, friends and hobbies, and you’ll be a more attractive potential partner at 30 than the guys who mostly have their looks to offer. And maybe try learning how to knit.

ryloric 4y ago

You're very very young, you're not gonna die before you find a partner.

ggfhvt6yyghvhuf 4y ago

I am saying this as a now married man with a kid. Don't rush it ( unless you really, really want to ). Enjoy yourself. It is the best time of your life and we just can't tell when we are in it for some reason. Things will happen on their own. No reason to force it.

cubefox 4y ago
I can confirm for me (n=1) that things will not happen on their own when you are not trying to "force it". For sufficiently high attractiveness men, things probably do happen on their own, but for others they definitely don't.

alexpetralia 4y ago

Keep in mind the idea that you should be going on oodles of dates also comes from media and social media. Take your time.