I get quite tired of the boomer-esque takes on HN and everywhere else. The quintessential one is “shower, dress, have a job, and be respectful” is somehow enoug

I get quite tired of the boomer-esque takes on HN and everywhere else. The quintessential one is “shower, dress, have a job, and be respectful” is somehow enough to attract just about any woman. People assume that 60% of young men must just be filthy neckbeard degenerates. As far as I can tell - this is cause they never talk to young people or meet any. Attracting young women today is an entirely different ballgame than in the past and it’s incredibly challenging for average men. I do think social media has warped our perceptions of what an “average man” is. The classic “dad bod” quip is an example. A lot of women have mentioned desiring a “dad bod” and then will point out someone like Jason Mamoa when he’s either off-cycle or not completely shredded. A body that is very much not a “dad bod” at all to most men - this body is already incredibly difficult to attain and required steroids to get to to start with. The decline of third spaces and ways to interact more in person and without it being transactional has also likely made it really hard. When you need to sell yourself through images - it turns out really only a couple body types are appealing to women when it comes to images alone. Yes, you can be more attractive when interacting in person and they see your full personality but we don’t have the spaces for that anymore. Most young women I meet are incredibly full of stranger danger as well. So many stories of violent rape hit national headlines and most people are taught men are a threat before you even say hello. So, yeah, it’s no wonder you can’t really make a good first impression as an average young man. There’s nowhere to hang out with other young women in person where it’s not transactional and they already assume you’re a threat to begin with… so you’re in bad footing before you even started. The only way I’ve seen to get past this is to be incredibly charming (very rare and person specific) or genetically gifted looking to where people’s defenses are lowered (also rare). Overall - I blame capitalism. I think its desire for atomicizing everyone and making everything a transaction is the source of all these issues.