5 ms·

it is definitely surprising...a big change in last 5-10 years. Women actually dont prefer a v large age gap--less than men and on the order of 2-3 years. Age de

it is definitely surprising...a big change in last 5-10 years. Women actually dont prefer a v large age gap--less than men and on the order of 2-3 years. Age def explains some of this statistic but isnt enough to explain it all. This is probably also result of slight harem effect and of people categorising relationships differently (man thinks he is single, woman thinks its monogamous etc).

runsWphotons 4y ago
https://twitter.com/datepsych/status/1624071030154096640 https://twitter.com/datepsych/status/1624071030154096640
HarHarVeryFunny 4y ago
Well, it's not exactly about age per se from either side. If we're going by the crass (but largely true) stereotypes, then men are driven by looks, and women (notwithstanding any "bad boy" dating inclination) are more looking for a protector/provider (i.e. maturity/money). Maybe with more men living with parents due to economy/housing/etc, this has an effect.
- runsWphotons 4y ago
  yes as i said age has something to do with this, maybe even the big effect, but probably doesnt explain the whole change. And if women are dating men with a larger age gap than before because of the factors you stated (taking men longer to get money, basically), it is against their stated preferences of age gap, so they are compromising more than before. And of course men are taking longer to get to "maturity/money" stage in some part bc of financial competition from young women, so this interesting dynamic.
lytefm 4y ago
I suppose that the age similarity might mainly be a peer group effect. People in the early twenties tend to hang out a lot with people of around their same age, e.g. due to college/ university classes or parties. As long as dating happens predominantly within the peer group, age differences usually aren't very big. But once online dating is used, larger age differences occur quite naturally.
- runsWphotons 4y ago
  What I am citing comes from surveys of men and women, not just observations from anecdotes. Women virtually always want men just a bit older, throughout their lives, or at least say they prefer this. I think you can find some of that data in link below.
mannerheim 4y ago
> Women actually dont prefer a v large age gap--less than men and on the order of 2-3 years. This seems mathematically impossible to me. The average age gap in a relationship with a woman for a given man should be the same as the average age gap in a relationship with a man for a given woman.

runsWphotons 4y ago

https://twitter.com/datepsych/status/1624071030154096640 https://twitter.com/datepsych/status/1624071030154096640

HarHarVeryFunny 4y ago

Well, it's not exactly about age per se from either side. If we're going by the crass (but largely true) stereotypes, then men are driven by looks, and women (notwithstanding any "bad boy" dating inclination) are more looking for a protector/provider (i.e. maturity/money). Maybe with more men living with parents due to economy/housing/etc, this has an effect.

runsWphotons 4y ago
yes as i said age has something to do with this, maybe even the big effect, but probably doesnt explain the whole change. And if women are dating men with a larger age gap than before because of the factors you stated (taking men longer to get money, basically), it is against their stated preferences of age gap, so they are compromising more than before. And of course men are taking longer to get to "maturity/money" stage in some part bc of financial competition from young women, so this interesting dynamic.

lytefm 4y ago

I suppose that the age similarity might mainly be a peer group effect. People in the early twenties tend to hang out a lot with people of around their same age, e.g. due to college/ university classes or parties. As long as dating happens predominantly within the peer group, age differences usually aren't very big. But once online dating is used, larger age differences occur quite naturally.

runsWphotons 4y ago
What I am citing comes from surveys of men and women, not just observations from anecdotes. Women virtually always want men just a bit older, throughout their lives, or at least say they prefer this. I think you can find some of that data in link below.

mannerheim 4y ago

> Women actually dont prefer a v large age gap--less than men and on the order of 2-3 years. This seems mathematically impossible to me. The average age gap in a relationship with a woman for a given man should be the same as the average age gap in a relationship with a man for a given woman.