If your parents tried it as a lifestyle choice, and you yourself grow up with people bowing to statues of Lord Buddha and chanting the Heart Sutra and performin

If your parents tried it as a lifestyle choice, and you yourself grow up with people bowing to statues of Lord Buddha and chanting the Heart Sutra and performing dana rituals for your school grades, then where is the inauthenticity? It all flows together, reforming excessively strict early Hinduism, meditation in the forest, take these lessons and judge for yourself how they help, going to China with the Dhamma, going back to China for meditation lessons, bringing the practice of just sitting to the US when so few in Japan meditate, every where you look one sees traditions and insights flowing together in this great common effort to heal the suffering around and within us. I meditate because life become impossible without it. Always now, always here, the authentic past is another category our mind creates and places into the wholeness. One cannot be an authentic first monk in California, but one can sit still with attention and silence and focus. One can be rude to other Buddhists or respectful to them. As meditation makes it easier to see what is on its own apart from what I expected, the effects will vary depending on what one isn’t seeing clearly. So caution is warranted. Normally retraumatizing oneself isn’t helpful or skillful, but change will happen whether we fear it or long for it. Just make sure to sleep when tired and eat when hungry and pay attention within and without and it will work out.