> you can draw attention to someone's mistaken beliefs without escalating the situation, or even without putting them on the defensive? This requires a will to

> you can draw attention to someone's mistaken beliefs without escalating the situation, or even without putting them on the defensive? This requires a will to discuss (both sides). I have had plenty of such discussions where the other side arguments sinked in or not, but where the was will to actually listen and think. I don't believe you only met such people, and if so congratulations (I am not being cynical - it would really be great). Unfortunately this was not the case, not even close. He was an asshole using his power to dominate others, something which works in some places where there is a medieval structure. I did not friends on him and he said that we would meet at my defence where he will remember that. To what I said that I don't do, but wish him all the best. He was childishly ridicule at the defense where he absolutely wanted to be part of the jury. The world is sadly what it is. My life motto is "always be nice twice" (stolen from Irving) and I like to be the one extending the hand after a failed first meeting. Some take this as weakness or submission, and well, b it does not go well indeed.