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Well, I'm fortunate, yes, but to be fair I'm up for hanging out with pretty much everyone. I hang out at work, at the co-working space we have with people I nev

by whstl 4y ago

Well, I'm fortunate, yes, but to be fair I'm up for hanging out with pretty much everyone. I hang out at work, at the co-working space we have with people I never talked before, with my neighbors, with my sister's acquaintances, with my dad's people. And all those people also seem to love "just hanging out", because they do. I also have plenty of hobbies, I have a band, soccer weekly with some folks, I also have a garden, I play video games with another buddy... My point I guess is that some people have a higher tolerance for hanging out with others, even unknown folks. I find that almost everyone has interesting stories to tell if you let them, and I enjoy hearing. I have my share of funny anecdotes too. I thought that's down to the introvert/extrovert spectrum but from your post it seems to be something else.

comfypotato 4y ago
Ah, I have identified our disconnect. Our definition of hanging out is different. I’m going with “killing time” in a sense of hours at a time, which you definitely don’t do at work. Similarly, I doubt you often kill hours at a time with random people you don’t know or your neighbors. And your dad/sister’s people are different too if your dad/sister are there. Folks like me aren’t sociopathic lol. I like a good casual conversation with a neighbor when you happen to be getting the mail at the same time. I had a great conversation today with a stranger about Apple watches. It’s sitting in the garage with your roommates (and whoever else) for 6 hours on a Saturday smoking cigarettes talking shit that I’m highlighting as boring. (And the article is praising.) It’s not “lost” as the article states, I just have better things to do. And that used to be every Saturday for me (pandemic aside).
- whstl 4y ago
  Nope. I definitely do kill hours at a time with people from work or people I never talked with. :D My team has weekly happy-hours which are obviously after hours (I honestly thought every team did it!), my landlady often invites us tenants a monthly dinner that goes into the night, I attend random Meetups and just stay for several hours chatting, I participate in our co-working space "parties" and stay until late with people I never seen. Heck, yesterday I went to a restaurant with my (recent) language class and we stayed until 2AM. Of course you can claim "this is not really hanging out, this is other stuff". I hate cigarettes and don't have a garage, but I guess drinking and random location is equivalent, as long as we chat for hours, so why not? But I definitely do not consider "chatting while picking up the mail" as hanging out. Not even in the same ballpark. In Germany we have a thing called "Men's day" where we get a cart of beer and go to the middle of the forest just to do nothing at all for a whole day. Now THIS is what I call hanging out. I wonder if the culture is where the disconnect is coming from. EDIT: Although honestly pretty much every other country I lived in my life had a similar culture and... it was the rule as far as I could tell. EDIT 2: I also don't think you're a sociopath! Far from it! I just think you're someone who doesn't enjoy long aimless chats with unknown people.

by whstl 4y ago

comfypotato 4y ago

Ah, I have identified our disconnect. Our definition of hanging out is different. I’m going with “killing time” in a sense of hours at a time, which you definitely don’t do at work. Similarly, I doubt you often kill hours at a time with random people you don’t know or your neighbors. And your dad/sister’s people are different too if your dad/sister are there. Folks like me aren’t sociopathic lol. I like a good casual conversation with a neighbor when you happen to be getting the mail at the same time. I had a great conversation today with a stranger about Apple watches. It’s sitting in the garage with your roommates (and whoever else) for 6 hours on a Saturday smoking cigarettes talking shit that I’m highlighting as boring. (And the article is praising.) It’s not “lost” as the article states, I just have better things to do. And that used to be every Saturday for me (pandemic aside).

whstl 4y ago
Nope. I definitely do kill hours at a time with people from work or people I never talked with. :D My team has weekly happy-hours which are obviously after hours (I honestly thought every team did it!), my landlady often invites us tenants a monthly dinner that goes into the night, I attend random Meetups and just stay for several hours chatting, I participate in our co-working space "parties" and stay until late with people I never seen. Heck, yesterday I went to a restaurant with my (recent) language class and we stayed until 2AM. Of course you can claim "this is not really hanging out, this is other stuff". I hate cigarettes and don't have a garage, but I guess drinking and random location is equivalent, as long as we chat for hours, so why not? But I definitely do not consider "chatting while picking up the mail" as hanging out. Not even in the same ballpark. In Germany we have a thing called "Men's day" where we get a cart of beer and go to the middle of the forest just to do nothing at all for a whole day. Now THIS is what I call hanging out. I wonder if the culture is where the disconnect is coming from. EDIT: Although honestly pretty much every other country I lived in my life had a similar culture and... it was the rule as far as I could tell. EDIT 2: I also don't think you're a sociopath! Far from it! I just think you're someone who doesn't enjoy long aimless chats with unknown people.