Hopeless. That's a tough word. It feels like a loop: The mere fact that I feel hopeless makes me feel worthless which makes me feel hopeless. I've never stru

Hopeless. That's a tough word. It feels like a loop: The mere fact that I feel hopeless makes me feel worthless which makes me feel hopeless. I've never struggled to find work but I've had two tragedies in my life that feel similar -- a very big loss that maybe has a way for you to assign blame to yourself (blame that is likely less deserved than how much is being assigned), a loss that feels like your future is blurry or that makes you feel like the dreams you planned on are not possible any longer. OK, that's probably a good place to stop with that ... You are by yourself in a car in a Burger King parking lot, but you are not alone. Today, an untold number of people are reading your words, some of them are sympathizing with you, some have prayed for you[0], and we're all rooting for you. You haven't given up. I don't believe you will. What you've written sounds like you feel like you're at "rock bottom" right now. When you hit rock bottom -- whether it was "on purpose" or just a subconscious reflex -- you took action. It's really hard not to let circumstances like this make you feel like you're unqualified/incapable -- consider that getting hired for a job is all on you and you've done it twice. Getting laid off -- frequently -- has nothing to do with you or your abilities. Let yourself feel hopeless for a little bit -- at least, don't let yourself feel guilty for "being normal". If you haven't already found a thousand people to talk to, reply and I'm sure we can figure out a way to exchange numbers outside of an HN comment thread (I'm pretty easy to track down). If not, I wish you and your spouse the best through all of this -- give them a hug; they're rooting/hurting for you, too. [0] raises hand looks around puts hand down