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What? Do you notice a trend in the membership of your named organizations, mainly that they seem filled with old conservative men? Re: "daughters of the ameri

What? Do you notice a trend in the membership of your named organizations, mainly that they seem filled with old conservative men? Re: "daughters of the america" "Council of the Daughters of America, a patriotic fraternity, which seeks to aid in preserving and perpetuating the Public School system; to instill a spirit of patriotism into the youth of our land; to place our flag over every schoolhouse; to promote the reading of the Holy Bible therein; and to protest against the immigration of paupers, criminals, and the enemies of our social order" Ugh, yeah, my queer self is not really looking for that kind of engagement and I doubt they're looking for me. It has to be noted that there is absolutely an increasing poverty of community life and hyper individualization. It's kind of incentivized in currently existing systems.

thanatropism 4y ago
Maybe he doesn't know enough queer people/isn't queer enough to frequent queer social clubs. People are different.
- sulcate 4y ago
  Yes, people are different, but you'd imagine that organizations promoting nativist ideology and religious education in schools might also very likely not resonate with a more highly-correlated-with-atheism hackernews crowd, no? The point being, the offered easy solutions aren't undeserving of critique and we can discuss real reasons people might not be joining these dying institutions. There was an issue in framing and I discussed it. A la the other conmments around not wanting to hang exclusively with senior citizens, or ham radio not offering the kind of bustling community one might want. Perhaps there's are reasons said organizations are struggling and a reason why people might feel the choice to find meaningful community isn't always easy, when it's disincentivised in society.
  - mydriasis 4y ago
    Yeah, that's all very fair. I think, though, that there are definitely organizations out there that align with different views. What I was going for in my original post was to give a whole bunch of examples to demonstrate that there are a whole bunch of organizations one might look into -- and there really are, if you look for social clubs, there are loads and loads of them. I'm hoping that we don't necessarily lump all of these into one category, because social clubs are really very diverse, and I think they're very much worth trying out for those looking for social engagement. Yeah, some of these clubs have musty old ideals, some are conservative or strictly religious. Then, there are other clubs out there -- perhaps not as wide in size or scale, but still looking for members -- that have ideals that might be more modern, less conservative, secular, etc. I think a lot of people these days are strictly thinking of grandpa when they hear about these social clubs, or group organizations, so they immediately write them off. But there are good organizations out there, and it might be worth a second look.
  - r3trohack3r 4y ago
    > disincentivised in society https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/society https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/society You are society when you bring people together. You are isolated when you stay away. I mean this literally: start a society that shares common values with yourself but is broad enough to include the values of others so you’re not standing on an island alone. I might be wrong here, but generally when I’ve felt alone and tried to start a society for people like me, other existing societies that overlap shake out of the woodwork and I realize there was a rich network of people to join up with.
  - AussieWog93 4y ago
    >highly-correlated-with-atheism hackernews crowd For what it's worth, I've definitely noticed an uptick in respect for religion in our type of crowd, often but not always channeling Jordan Peterson's ideas. I think after losing the last culture war, religion has had to do some real soul searching and is beginning to adapt to the new, hyper-scientific world.
mydriasis 4y ago
These were just some examples. There are hundreds of social clubs to be sifted through, and I'm sure that there are some that would love to have you / align with your personality better than the ones which I've posted! Take a look around your town and see what might be available, you might be surprised at what you see.
- sulcate 4y ago
  I'm going to be transparent: I'm interested in a structural analysis as to why there's a crisis of loneliness. Humans are wired for sociality and interdependence. Our brains pretty much literally wither away, in ways, without meaningful social stimulus. Given this, I can't immediately simply lay the blame at the feet of individuals as to why people seem increasingly lonely and thirsty for meaningful connection. So what might be some other causes for this type of isolation that seems increasingly common?
  - r3trohack3r 4y ago
    TL;DR: I was stuck in a local optimum where the screen provided so much relative value, and leaving the screen required so much relative energy and vulnerability, that I’d opt for screen time. I can only share my experience, can’t do a structural analysis. For me, it was screens. Not anything in particular about the screen being bad in and of itself, but that the screen was so easy and efficient. I can do my work better on a screen. I can create more value on a screen. I can have a meeting more efficiently on a screen. I can communicate more efficiently on a screen. I can entertain myself more efficiently on a screen. Going out requires effort. I have to “get ready.” I have to go somewhere. I might not know people so I have to be vulnerable to cross a threshold of familiarity. I have to either be comfortable with myself and how others see me or I have to be comfortable being uncomfortable. These things pretty much aren’t a problem for me on a screen. So my default is to wake up, go to a screen to work (I WFH because it’s more efficient), get done with work and find entertainment on another screen. Go to bed and start over again. I just bounced from screen to screen. Being social. Taking care of my body. Taking care of my mind. These all require effort above that baseline. It took me a long time to realize and appreciate that I was stuck in a local optimum and being inefficient in the short term was necessary to break out of it.
r3trohack3r 4y ago
I felt this way after losing my religion. Your situation is different for sure. But I joined a group workout gym with a local owner and a good community, it’s helped a lot with isolation. I’m in the process of joining a BNI and, being surrounded by people motivated enough to run their own small business, it’s helping a lot. I’m going to be meeting up with some folks who run a local hackerspace and do a weekly “coffee and code” - that seems promising and I’m hopeful it’ll help a lot. All of these have something in common: * A local business owner decided to start a BNI chapter and get a group of like minded individuals together to talk about business and share referrals * An employee at a gym was disappointed in how gyms operate and wanted to do better, so started a space to bring people together around their interests. * A smallish group of local hackers got together to create a shared space where they can geek out together If you look at that list of social groups and say “I only see spaces for old conservative men” and “there is a poverty of community life” - maybe start a space or group for people like you? Or find people who are already doing that. Unless someone creates that space and brings people in it’s not going to exist. Having the spaces OP listed isn’t mutually exclusive with the existence of any other social group.
- mydriasis 4y ago
  This is awesome, I love to hear about groups like what you've posted.
themaninthedark 4y ago
So a conservative organization is not for you! Perhaps you could join the local Democratic party? Participate in the process and help candidates campaign! Or if that is not for you, you could volunteer as a poll worker. While not strictly a club, it is generally the same people very time and the goal is very noble. Some gyms are great for meeting people. I would say independent bookstores as well! Good luck!
throwaheyy 4y ago
I’m quite sure those clubs are focused around community activity and do not restrict membership by a member’s political alignment or religion. Clubs that do revolve around members’ politics and identity, honestly aren’t all that much fun.
triceratops 4y ago
Whoa. I had no idea so I looked them up. The bigger obstacle to joining the "Daughters of America" might be that Wikipedia calls it "almost nonexistent" due to dwindling membership. [1] Lol. 1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daughters_of_America https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daughters_of_America
stcroixx 4y ago
Conservatives want to dismantle the public school system, not preserve and perpetuate it.

thanatropism 4y ago

Maybe he doesn't know enough queer people/isn't queer enough to frequent queer social clubs. People are different.

sulcate 4y ago
Yes, people are different, but you'd imagine that organizations promoting nativist ideology and religious education in schools might also very likely not resonate with a more highly-correlated-with-atheism hackernews crowd, no? The point being, the offered easy solutions aren't undeserving of critique and we can discuss real reasons people might not be joining these dying institutions. There was an issue in framing and I discussed it. A la the other conmments around not wanting to hang exclusively with senior citizens, or ham radio not offering the kind of bustling community one might want. Perhaps there's are reasons said organizations are struggling and a reason why people might feel the choice to find meaningful community isn't always easy, when it's disincentivised in society.
- mydriasis 4y ago
  Yeah, that's all very fair. I think, though, that there are definitely organizations out there that align with different views. What I was going for in my original post was to give a whole bunch of examples to demonstrate that there are a whole bunch of organizations one might look into -- and there really are, if you look for social clubs, there are loads and loads of them. I'm hoping that we don't necessarily lump all of these into one category, because social clubs are really very diverse, and I think they're very much worth trying out for those looking for social engagement. Yeah, some of these clubs have musty old ideals, some are conservative or strictly religious. Then, there are other clubs out there -- perhaps not as wide in size or scale, but still looking for members -- that have ideals that might be more modern, less conservative, secular, etc. I think a lot of people these days are strictly thinking of grandpa when they hear about these social clubs, or group organizations, so they immediately write them off. But there are good organizations out there, and it might be worth a second look.
- r3trohack3r 4y ago
  > disincentivised in society https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/society https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/society You are society when you bring people together. You are isolated when you stay away. I mean this literally: start a society that shares common values with yourself but is broad enough to include the values of others so you’re not standing on an island alone. I might be wrong here, but generally when I’ve felt alone and tried to start a society for people like me, other existing societies that overlap shake out of the woodwork and I realize there was a rich network of people to join up with.
- AussieWog93 4y ago
  >highly-correlated-with-atheism hackernews crowd For what it's worth, I've definitely noticed an uptick in respect for religion in our type of crowd, often but not always channeling Jordan Peterson's ideas. I think after losing the last culture war, religion has had to do some real soul searching and is beginning to adapt to the new, hyper-scientific world.

mydriasis 4y ago

These were just some examples. There are hundreds of social clubs to be sifted through, and I'm sure that there are some that would love to have you / align with your personality better than the ones which I've posted! Take a look around your town and see what might be available, you might be surprised at what you see.

sulcate 4y ago
I'm going to be transparent: I'm interested in a structural analysis as to why there's a crisis of loneliness. Humans are wired for sociality and interdependence. Our brains pretty much literally wither away, in ways, without meaningful social stimulus. Given this, I can't immediately simply lay the blame at the feet of individuals as to why people seem increasingly lonely and thirsty for meaningful connection. So what might be some other causes for this type of isolation that seems increasingly common?
- r3trohack3r 4y ago
  TL;DR: I was stuck in a local optimum where the screen provided so much relative value, and leaving the screen required so much relative energy and vulnerability, that I’d opt for screen time. I can only share my experience, can’t do a structural analysis. For me, it was screens. Not anything in particular about the screen being bad in and of itself, but that the screen was so easy and efficient. I can do my work better on a screen. I can create more value on a screen. I can have a meeting more efficiently on a screen. I can communicate more efficiently on a screen. I can entertain myself more efficiently on a screen. Going out requires effort. I have to “get ready.” I have to go somewhere. I might not know people so I have to be vulnerable to cross a threshold of familiarity. I have to either be comfortable with myself and how others see me or I have to be comfortable being uncomfortable. These things pretty much aren’t a problem for me on a screen. So my default is to wake up, go to a screen to work (I WFH because it’s more efficient), get done with work and find entertainment on another screen. Go to bed and start over again. I just bounced from screen to screen. Being social. Taking care of my body. Taking care of my mind. These all require effort above that baseline. It took me a long time to realize and appreciate that I was stuck in a local optimum and being inefficient in the short term was necessary to break out of it.

r3trohack3r 4y ago

I felt this way after losing my religion. Your situation is different for sure. But I joined a group workout gym with a local owner and a good community, it’s helped a lot with isolation. I’m in the process of joining a BNI and, being surrounded by people motivated enough to run their own small business, it’s helping a lot. I’m going to be meeting up with some folks who run a local hackerspace and do a weekly “coffee and code” - that seems promising and I’m hopeful it’ll help a lot. All of these have something in common: * A local business owner decided to start a BNI chapter and get a group of like minded individuals together to talk about business and share referrals * An employee at a gym was disappointed in how gyms operate and wanted to do better, so started a space to bring people together around their interests. * A smallish group of local hackers got together to create a shared space where they can geek out together If you look at that list of social groups and say “I only see spaces for old conservative men” and “there is a poverty of community life” - maybe start a space or group for people like you? Or find people who are already doing that. Unless someone creates that space and brings people in it’s not going to exist. Having the spaces OP listed isn’t mutually exclusive with the existence of any other social group.

mydriasis 4y ago
This is awesome, I love to hear about groups like what you've posted.

themaninthedark 4y ago

So a conservative organization is not for you! Perhaps you could join the local Democratic party? Participate in the process and help candidates campaign! Or if that is not for you, you could volunteer as a poll worker. While not strictly a club, it is generally the same people very time and the goal is very noble. Some gyms are great for meeting people. I would say independent bookstores as well! Good luck!

throwaheyy 4y ago

I’m quite sure those clubs are focused around community activity and do not restrict membership by a member’s political alignment or religion. Clubs that do revolve around members’ politics and identity, honestly aren’t all that much fun.

triceratops 4y ago

Whoa. I had no idea so I looked them up. The bigger obstacle to joining the "Daughters of America" might be that Wikipedia calls it "almost nonexistent" due to dwindling membership. [1] Lol. 1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daughters_of_America https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daughters_of_America

stcroixx 4y ago

Conservatives want to dismantle the public school system, not preserve and perpetuate it.