8 ms·

There are plenty of social clubs, guaranteed to exist in your town, that are looking for members. Masons, Rotary, Lions, Elks, Knights of Columbus. Optimists,

There are plenty of social clubs, guaranteed to exist in your town, that are looking for members. Masons, Rotary, Lions, Elks, Knights of Columbus. Optimists, Eagles, Moose, Odd Fellows, Kiwanis. Sons of Norway, Daughters of America, Active 20-30... I joined a social club when I moved way out to work remote. The members are a bit older. They have good stories and great advice, and they're experiencing a resurgence of membership applications from people just like me. There are plenty of clubs that focus on friendship and community service that are waiting on your application! A question I see asked _all the time_ is "How do you even make friends, now?" People have been asking that for a long time -- one answer is definitely to try out a social club near you.

65 4y ago
Do you know of any clubs that attract younger people? I'd prefer to not be 40 years younger than everyone at these clubs.
- jneumann004 4y ago
  This is one of the biggest problems I see for getting new friends as a millennial. About a year ago I got my amateur radio license. I started to talking to a few people locally and eventually went to club meetings and lunches. I'm in my mid-30s; almost everybody else involved in amateur radio in my area is old enough to be my parent or grandparent.
  - thewebcount 4y ago
    Well I'm in my 50s and wouldn't consider a single one of the clubs listed in the GP as I feel like the people in those clubs would all be older than me. (Plus I hate religious and quasi-religious organizations like those.) On the other hand, I've considered going to some meetups and usually don't because I'm sure I'd be the oldest person there. (Plus the few meetups I've gone to were mostly attended by people who were desperate for attention and socialization, or who were trying to sell stuff to the other members. But that may just be where I live.)
  - huehehue 4y ago
    Thanks for unlocking the memory I have of getting my radio license in my early 20s. Got a lot of questions about why I was interested in radio, but in the sort of way that you might ask an alien what the purpose for their visit is. Also if anybody is reading this and interested in radio - take the test! It's cheap and you can cram the material in a day.
- toasteros 4y ago
  Voluntary organisations like the Scouts have been a good choice for me. It's tricky to get into if you're in the US because of all the dogma, but Scouting is an awesome thing to get into as an adult leader. If not the Scouts, then any voluntary org with a cause at its centre is great for forming connections.
- comfypotato 4y ago
  I’ve visited a board game club before and there were only a few people over 30. And a lot of younger. Very fun if you like board games. Literally just people there to have fun. Some cute girls too if that’s what you’re looking for.
  - mydriasis 4y ago
    That's a great idea! I've seen these pop out of local game shops pretty often.
  - jimmygrapes 4y ago
    I have tried to participate in dozens of board game and programming clubs in my region, and while sometimes it turns out alright at first (as in I went back several times), every single one of them got derailed by identitarianism; mostly trans[whatever suffix is appropriate] people making the entire thing into drama about themselves, with a small spattering of political ideologues (of all bents) and race. All it takes is one bad apple and a bunch of others desperate to not offend to make a gathering shift from "we were just here to play scrabble" to "everyone needs to sign this petition about drag shows/police brutality/tenants rights/etc. if you want to be welcome in this diverse and inclusive group." I don't want to go to the geriatric clubs who lament about how woke things are, either. Just leave your bullshit at home, please.
- nicbou 4y ago
  I made a few friends through Reddit and LinkedIn. I build in public and it attracts some people. In other cases I was the one reaching out. If you consider small online communities as a sort of club, you can make a few friends there. Otherwise Meetup.com was a good place to find groups of people. Dog owners and parents tend to find their peers at the park. There are WhatsApp and Facebook groups for just about anything else, but many of them spread through word of mouth.
- mydriasis 4y ago
  If you're interested in a service organization, Active 20-30 looks pretty cool. It aims to help out kids. https://www.active20-30.org/Get-involved https://www.active20-30.org/Get-involved
- bell-cot 4y ago
  At least in my area (SW Michigan), the Jaycees seem to be a fairly big thing. They require member ages to be in [18,40] - so "40 years younger" is not a risk.
voisin 4y ago
What prevents me from going to those clubs is a lock of understanding of the structure. I can understand something like a soccer team, but a “social club” gives me “networking event” vibes which are a huge turnoff.
- mydriasis 4y ago
  So I see what you mean -- some clubs definitely have "networking event" vibes. Others have "sit around and chat" vibes, "go have a drink and maybe some fries" vibes, "volunteer at a local org" vibes, etc. It all depends on what you're looking for, and it all depends on what you're interested in. There's no real set agenda that we can apply to all of these clubs -- as similar as they may seem, they do have a diverse set of goals that they try to achieve.
lr4444lr 4y ago
Not to sound ungrateful, but they tend to be exclusively occupied by senior citizens. I do enjoy spending time with the elderly, but it's no replacement for peers in one's own life stage.
- karaterobot 4y ago
  > Not to sound ungrateful, but they tend to be exclusively occupied by senior citizens. One solution to that would be for younger people to join.
  - mydriasis 4y ago
    Exactly :)
- mydriasis 4y ago
  That's a totally fair assessment, and not everyone's into that. I am sure, though, that if you look locally, you'll find a club or group that matches your age range more closely!
aschearer 4y ago
I was looking into a bunch of these recently. Many of them were white, male, Christian-only affairs within living memory. Took some of the sheen off.
- mydriasis 4y ago
  Sure, I get that. There are many out there that aren't, though, and I definitely encourage you to keep digging to look for clubs and groups near you that more closely align to the kind of social environment you're looking to engage in -- it's worth the effort, in my opinion. I think you'll be surprised by what you find!
- themaninthedark 4y ago
  If the history of an organization(and not it's current goals and practices) is going to be prevent you for being able to join, then life must be very difficult.
sulcate 4y ago
What? Do you notice a trend in the membership of your named organizations, mainly that they seem filled with old conservative men? Re: "daughters of the america" "Council of the Daughters of America, a patriotic fraternity, which seeks to aid in preserving and perpetuating the Public School system; to instill a spirit of patriotism into the youth of our land; to place our flag over every schoolhouse; to promote the reading of the Holy Bible therein; and to protest against the immigration of paupers, criminals, and the enemies of our social order" Ugh, yeah, my queer self is not really looking for that kind of engagement and I doubt they're looking for me. It has to be noted that there is absolutely an increasing poverty of community life and hyper individualization. It's kind of incentivized in currently existing systems.
- thanatropism 4y ago
  Maybe he doesn't know enough queer people/isn't queer enough to frequent queer social clubs. People are different.
  - sulcate 4y ago
    Yes, people are different, but you'd imagine that organizations promoting nativist ideology and religious education in schools might also very likely not resonate with a more highly-correlated-with-atheism hackernews crowd, no? The point being, the offered easy solutions aren't undeserving of critique and we can discuss real reasons people might not be joining these dying institutions. There was an issue in framing and I discussed it. A la the other conmments around not wanting to hang exclusively with senior citizens, or ham radio not offering the kind of bustling community one might want. Perhaps there's are reasons said organizations are struggling and a reason why people might feel the choice to find meaningful community isn't always easy, when it's disincentivised in society.
    - mydriasis 4y ago
      Yeah, that's all very fair. I think, though, that there are definitely organizations out there that align with different views. What I was going for in my original post was to give a whole bunch of examples to demonstrate that there are a whole bunch of organizations one might look into -- and there really are, if you look for social clubs, there are loads and loads of them. I'm hoping that we don't necessarily lump all of these into one category, because social clubs are really very diverse, and I think they're very much worth trying out for those looking for social engagement. Yeah, some of these clubs have musty old ideals, some are conservative or strictly religious. Then, there are other clubs out there -- perhaps not as wide in size or scale, but still looking for members -- that have ideals that might be more modern, less conservative, secular, etc. I think a lot of people these days are strictly thinking of grandpa when they hear about these social clubs, or group organizations, so they immediately write them off. But there are good organizations out there, and it might be worth a second look.
pavel_lishin 4y ago
Many of our local clubs include, in their charter, a requirement that the members be religious. Now, I'm sure they don't check. They probably don't pray, they won't quiz me about what church I go to. I could lie. But I don't want to. I don't want to have to.
- mydriasis 4y ago
  And there are some that don't! There're options for everyone.
  - legerdemain 4y ago
    Specifically the membership-based fraternal private societies, like the ones you mentioned? They were started at the same period of American history, and I only know of one exception that doesn't have "faith in a higher power" as a tenet of good citizenship. Heck, even the Jaycees, who explicitly target younger people. The exception is the Rotary Society. The average Rotarian is male, white, and 58 years old.
    - tomhoward 4y ago
      Rotary has been open to women since 1989, and it welcomes anyone who fits the membership requirements - "adult persons who demonstrate good character, integrity, and leadership; possess good reputation within their business, profession, occupation, and/or community". I was actively involved in Rotary in the 90s/00s via a Rotaract Club (for 18-30yos), and even then, there were many women, many non-white members, and plenty of people under 50 in the Rotary clubs I visited. If some clubs/areas are still dominated by white, older males, it is mostly due to the difficulty in attracting any new members into volunteer organisations these days (mostly as it's unfashionable and people have other things to do), not due to any exclusionist policies.
yamtaddle 4y ago
Fancier (more expensive) versions of this are country clubs, private clubs of various sorts (fictional example: The Diogenes Club in Sherlock Holmes stories—but these are real things, see also "gentleman's club" when that's not being used as a euphemism for "strip club"), and rich-people service organizations—this latter sort is typically dominated by women.
- trillic 4y ago
  Another mention here is Sailing Clubs. There are expensive and cheap Yacht Clubs. Many smaller clubs are entirely volunteer run. Sailing is an awesome social scene that’s surprisingly welcoming to beginners. Obviously there are the New York Yacht Club’s of the world, but also clubs like Chicago Corinthian Yacht Club which has a volunteer-run bar with prices set to just cover costs as well as catered casual food. Membership is under $1000 a year.
  - yamtaddle 4y ago
    Oof, right, big miss there. Good call.
teeray 4y ago
Meetup can be this for younger folks, but you have to be willing to put in the work to organize and be the first-mover. Find things you want to do, then make open events, effectively inviting random people to them. Bar trivias, karaoke, hikes, etc. are all fairly easy to coordinate and they will attract other people who are also wondering “how do I even make friends now?” EDIT: Also, always make an effort to talk to the new people that join your events, because other people in the group will tend to mostly talk with those they feel comfortable with. It makes new folks feel welcome and they’ll want to come back :)
JackMorgan 4y ago
I've really enjoyed joining a local volunteer fire company. Otherwise I'll just sit at home working remote on solo projects all day, so responding to a call or two a day gets me (running) out of the house, and after the call we usually sit around the station and shoot the breeze for a while which is fun. When I get bored of that, I walk back home and get back to work. Sure it's hard work, but that really helps balance the tedium of just pushing tiny plastic buttons for 12+ hours a day.
- mydriasis 4y ago
  That's really awesome!

65 4y ago

Do you know of any clubs that attract younger people? I'd prefer to not be 40 years younger than everyone at these clubs.

jneumann004 4y ago
This is one of the biggest problems I see for getting new friends as a millennial. About a year ago I got my amateur radio license. I started to talking to a few people locally and eventually went to club meetings and lunches. I'm in my mid-30s; almost everybody else involved in amateur radio in my area is old enough to be my parent or grandparent.
- thewebcount 4y ago
  Well I'm in my 50s and wouldn't consider a single one of the clubs listed in the GP as I feel like the people in those clubs would all be older than me. (Plus I hate religious and quasi-religious organizations like those.) On the other hand, I've considered going to some meetups and usually don't because I'm sure I'd be the oldest person there. (Plus the few meetups I've gone to were mostly attended by people who were desperate for attention and socialization, or who were trying to sell stuff to the other members. But that may just be where I live.)
- huehehue 4y ago
  Thanks for unlocking the memory I have of getting my radio license in my early 20s. Got a lot of questions about why I was interested in radio, but in the sort of way that you might ask an alien what the purpose for their visit is. Also if anybody is reading this and interested in radio - take the test! It's cheap and you can cram the material in a day.
toasteros 4y ago
Voluntary organisations like the Scouts have been a good choice for me. It's tricky to get into if you're in the US because of all the dogma, but Scouting is an awesome thing to get into as an adult leader. If not the Scouts, then any voluntary org with a cause at its centre is great for forming connections.
comfypotato 4y ago
I’ve visited a board game club before and there were only a few people over 30. And a lot of younger. Very fun if you like board games. Literally just people there to have fun. Some cute girls too if that’s what you’re looking for.
- mydriasis 4y ago
  That's a great idea! I've seen these pop out of local game shops pretty often.
- jimmygrapes 4y ago
  I have tried to participate in dozens of board game and programming clubs in my region, and while sometimes it turns out alright at first (as in I went back several times), every single one of them got derailed by identitarianism; mostly trans[whatever suffix is appropriate] people making the entire thing into drama about themselves, with a small spattering of political ideologues (of all bents) and race. All it takes is one bad apple and a bunch of others desperate to not offend to make a gathering shift from "we were just here to play scrabble" to "everyone needs to sign this petition about drag shows/police brutality/tenants rights/etc. if you want to be welcome in this diverse and inclusive group." I don't want to go to the geriatric clubs who lament about how woke things are, either. Just leave your bullshit at home, please.
nicbou 4y ago
I made a few friends through Reddit and LinkedIn. I build in public and it attracts some people. In other cases I was the one reaching out. If you consider small online communities as a sort of club, you can make a few friends there. Otherwise Meetup.com was a good place to find groups of people. Dog owners and parents tend to find their peers at the park. There are WhatsApp and Facebook groups for just about anything else, but many of them spread through word of mouth.
mydriasis 4y ago
If you're interested in a service organization, Active 20-30 looks pretty cool. It aims to help out kids. https://www.active20-30.org/Get-involved https://www.active20-30.org/Get-involved
bell-cot 4y ago
At least in my area (SW Michigan), the Jaycees seem to be a fairly big thing. They require member ages to be in [18,40] - so "40 years younger" is not a risk.

voisin 4y ago

What prevents me from going to those clubs is a lock of understanding of the structure. I can understand something like a soccer team, but a “social club” gives me “networking event” vibes which are a huge turnoff.

mydriasis 4y ago
So I see what you mean -- some clubs definitely have "networking event" vibes. Others have "sit around and chat" vibes, "go have a drink and maybe some fries" vibes, "volunteer at a local org" vibes, etc. It all depends on what you're looking for, and it all depends on what you're interested in. There's no real set agenda that we can apply to all of these clubs -- as similar as they may seem, they do have a diverse set of goals that they try to achieve.

lr4444lr 4y ago

Not to sound ungrateful, but they tend to be exclusively occupied by senior citizens. I do enjoy spending time with the elderly, but it's no replacement for peers in one's own life stage.

karaterobot 4y ago
> Not to sound ungrateful, but they tend to be exclusively occupied by senior citizens. One solution to that would be for younger people to join.
- mydriasis 4y ago
  Exactly :)
mydriasis 4y ago
That's a totally fair assessment, and not everyone's into that. I am sure, though, that if you look locally, you'll find a club or group that matches your age range more closely!

aschearer 4y ago

I was looking into a bunch of these recently. Many of them were white, male, Christian-only affairs within living memory. Took some of the sheen off.

mydriasis 4y ago
Sure, I get that. There are many out there that aren't, though, and I definitely encourage you to keep digging to look for clubs and groups near you that more closely align to the kind of social environment you're looking to engage in -- it's worth the effort, in my opinion. I think you'll be surprised by what you find!
themaninthedark 4y ago
If the history of an organization(and not it's current goals and practices) is going to be prevent you for being able to join, then life must be very difficult.

sulcate 4y ago

What? Do you notice a trend in the membership of your named organizations, mainly that they seem filled with old conservative men? Re: "daughters of the america" "Council of the Daughters of America, a patriotic fraternity, which seeks to aid in preserving and perpetuating the Public School system; to instill a spirit of patriotism into the youth of our land; to place our flag over every schoolhouse; to promote the reading of the Holy Bible therein; and to protest against the immigration of paupers, criminals, and the enemies of our social order" Ugh, yeah, my queer self is not really looking for that kind of engagement and I doubt they're looking for me. It has to be noted that there is absolutely an increasing poverty of community life and hyper individualization. It's kind of incentivized in currently existing systems.

thanatropism 4y ago
Maybe he doesn't know enough queer people/isn't queer enough to frequent queer social clubs. People are different.
- sulcate 4y ago
  Yes, people are different, but you'd imagine that organizations promoting nativist ideology and religious education in schools might also very likely not resonate with a more highly-correlated-with-atheism hackernews crowd, no? The point being, the offered easy solutions aren't undeserving of critique and we can discuss real reasons people might not be joining these dying institutions. There was an issue in framing and I discussed it. A la the other conmments around not wanting to hang exclusively with senior citizens, or ham radio not offering the kind of bustling community one might want. Perhaps there's are reasons said organizations are struggling and a reason why people might feel the choice to find meaningful community isn't always easy, when it's disincentivised in society.
  - mydriasis 4y ago
    Yeah, that's all very fair. I think, though, that there are definitely organizations out there that align with different views. What I was going for in my original post was to give a whole bunch of examples to demonstrate that there are a whole bunch of organizations one might look into -- and there really are, if you look for social clubs, there are loads and loads of them. I'm hoping that we don't necessarily lump all of these into one category, because social clubs are really very diverse, and I think they're very much worth trying out for those looking for social engagement. Yeah, some of these clubs have musty old ideals, some are conservative or strictly religious. Then, there are other clubs out there -- perhaps not as wide in size or scale, but still looking for members -- that have ideals that might be more modern, less conservative, secular, etc. I think a lot of people these days are strictly thinking of grandpa when they hear about these social clubs, or group organizations, so they immediately write them off. But there are good organizations out there, and it might be worth a second look.

pavel_lishin 4y ago

Many of our local clubs include, in their charter, a requirement that the members be religious. Now, I'm sure they don't check. They probably don't pray, they won't quiz me about what church I go to. I could lie. But I don't want to. I don't want to have to.

mydriasis 4y ago
And there are some that don't! There're options for everyone.
- legerdemain 4y ago
  Specifically the membership-based fraternal private societies, like the ones you mentioned? They were started at the same period of American history, and I only know of one exception that doesn't have "faith in a higher power" as a tenet of good citizenship. Heck, even the Jaycees, who explicitly target younger people. The exception is the Rotary Society. The average Rotarian is male, white, and 58 years old.
  - tomhoward 4y ago
    Rotary has been open to women since 1989, and it welcomes anyone who fits the membership requirements - "adult persons who demonstrate good character, integrity, and leadership; possess good reputation within their business, profession, occupation, and/or community". I was actively involved in Rotary in the 90s/00s via a Rotaract Club (for 18-30yos), and even then, there were many women, many non-white members, and plenty of people under 50 in the Rotary clubs I visited. If some clubs/areas are still dominated by white, older males, it is mostly due to the difficulty in attracting any new members into volunteer organisations these days (mostly as it's unfashionable and people have other things to do), not due to any exclusionist policies.

yamtaddle 4y ago

Fancier (more expensive) versions of this are country clubs, private clubs of various sorts (fictional example: The Diogenes Club in Sherlock Holmes stories—but these are real things, see also "gentleman's club" when that's not being used as a euphemism for "strip club"), and rich-people service organizations—this latter sort is typically dominated by women.

trillic 4y ago
Another mention here is Sailing Clubs. There are expensive and cheap Yacht Clubs. Many smaller clubs are entirely volunteer run. Sailing is an awesome social scene that’s surprisingly welcoming to beginners. Obviously there are the New York Yacht Club’s of the world, but also clubs like Chicago Corinthian Yacht Club which has a volunteer-run bar with prices set to just cover costs as well as catered casual food. Membership is under $1000 a year.
- yamtaddle 4y ago
  Oof, right, big miss there. Good call.

teeray 4y ago

Meetup can be this for younger folks, but you have to be willing to put in the work to organize and be the first-mover. Find things you want to do, then make open events, effectively inviting random people to them. Bar trivias, karaoke, hikes, etc. are all fairly easy to coordinate and they will attract other people who are also wondering “how do I even make friends now?” EDIT: Also, always make an effort to talk to the new people that join your events, because other people in the group will tend to mostly talk with those they feel comfortable with. It makes new folks feel welcome and they’ll want to come back :)

JackMorgan 4y ago

I've really enjoyed joining a local volunteer fire company. Otherwise I'll just sit at home working remote on solo projects all day, so responding to a call or two a day gets me (running) out of the house, and after the call we usually sit around the station and shoot the breeze for a while which is fun. When I get bored of that, I walk back home and get back to work. Sure it's hard work, but that really helps balance the tedium of just pushing tiny plastic buttons for 12+ hours a day.

mydriasis 4y ago
That's really awesome!