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> It did not go well. Insulting people rarely does. Even if the insult is unintended, or is plausibly deniable, if the person ends up being insulted anyway, t

> It did not go well. Insulting people rarely does. Even if the insult is unintended, or is plausibly deniable, if the person ends up being insulted anyway, then it is unlikely to go well. In totally unrelated news, it might be worth noting that "being right" is not a relevant defence against the charge of "being an asshole". It's entirely possible to be one without being the other.

BrandoElFollito 4y ago
See, there is a tendency for students to feel like they have to take on them any insults (or similar) coming from a higher-up. I understand that you are fine being called an idiot and that the proper response is a smile and nod of understanding. Some do not. I do not. Have you worked in academia, especially in the ones where you have a medieval approach to hierarchy? EDIT: something liake http://amandabauer.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-academics-see-each-other.html http://amandabauer.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-academics-see-ea... (the humorous way of looking at it)
- deleted 4y ago
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- Karellen 4y ago
  > I understand that you are fine being called an idiot and that the proper response is a smile and nod of understanding. Some do not. I do not. Because the only possible responses are "smile and nod of understanding" and "call the professor an idiot in return", and no middle ground exists where you can draw attention to someone's mistaken beliefs without escalating the situation, or even without putting them on the defensive? I don't believe you believe that.
  - BrandoElFollito 4y ago
    > you can draw attention to someone's mistaken beliefs without escalating the situation, or even without putting them on the defensive? This requires a will to discuss (both sides). I have had plenty of such discussions where the other side arguments sinked in or not, but where the was will to actually listen and think. I don't believe you only met such people, and if so congratulations (I am not being cynical - it would really be great). Unfortunately this was not the case, not even close. He was an asshole using his power to dominate others, something which works in some places where there is a medieval structure. I did not friends on him and he said that we would meet at my defence where he will remember that. To what I said that I don't do, but wish him all the best. He was childishly ridicule at the defense where he absolutely wanted to be part of the jury. The world is sadly what it is. My life motto is "always be nice twice" (stolen from Irving) and I like to be the one extending the hand after a failed first meeting. Some take this as weakness or submission, and well, b it does not go well indeed.
danaris 4y ago
And why are you pointing this at the GP, and not sparing any of it for the professor who insulted him to his face first?

BrandoElFollito 4y ago

See, there is a tendency for students to feel like they have to take on them any insults (or similar) coming from a higher-up. I understand that you are fine being called an idiot and that the proper response is a smile and nod of understanding. Some do not. I do not. Have you worked in academia, especially in the ones where you have a medieval approach to hierarchy? EDIT: something liake http://amandabauer.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-academics-see-each-other.html http://amandabauer.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-academics-see-ea... (the humorous way of looking at it)

deleted 4y ago
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Karellen 4y ago
> I understand that you are fine being called an idiot and that the proper response is a smile and nod of understanding. Some do not. I do not. Because the only possible responses are "smile and nod of understanding" and "call the professor an idiot in return", and no middle ground exists where you can draw attention to someone's mistaken beliefs without escalating the situation, or even without putting them on the defensive? I don't believe you believe that.
- BrandoElFollito 4y ago
  > you can draw attention to someone's mistaken beliefs without escalating the situation, or even without putting them on the defensive? This requires a will to discuss (both sides). I have had plenty of such discussions where the other side arguments sinked in or not, but where the was will to actually listen and think. I don't believe you only met such people, and if so congratulations (I am not being cynical - it would really be great). Unfortunately this was not the case, not even close. He was an asshole using his power to dominate others, something which works in some places where there is a medieval structure. I did not friends on him and he said that we would meet at my defence where he will remember that. To what I said that I don't do, but wish him all the best. He was childishly ridicule at the defense where he absolutely wanted to be part of the jury. The world is sadly what it is. My life motto is "always be nice twice" (stolen from Irving) and I like to be the one extending the hand after a failed first meeting. Some take this as weakness or submission, and well, b it does not go well indeed.

danaris 4y ago

And why are you pointing this at the GP, and not sparing any of it for the professor who insulted him to his face first?