5 ms·

This really tugs at my heart. Now obviously I am a gruff, cynical sysadmin/devop/SRE/$next. However, I have soft toys from my childhood that I cannot bear to p

This really tugs at my heart. Now obviously I am a gruff, cynical sysadmin/devop/SRE/$next. However, I have soft toys from my childhood that I cannot bear to part with. My children also have their toys, which at least one of them loves dearly. However, for my toys, I do worry about what will happen to them when I am dead. Will someone love them as much as me? will they cherish them and look after them? or will they rot, and be destroyed alone? _obviously_ I am projecting. But its something that has eaten at me.

keiferski 4y ago
I think most people have had similar feelings, and there’s nothing weird or strange about it. The modern world is just a very disenchanted [1] place, where we are expected to treat physical objects purely as dead pieces of matter. Previous human civilizations did a better job of recognizing that we enjoy imbuing objects in the world with meaning, I think. 1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disenchantment https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disenchantment
- agentwiggles 4y ago
  It's funny, because I am not a religious person, but I still strongly believe in the power of symbols. Recently, at a concert my brother handed me a container of Tic tacs, which he told me were given to him by our mom. Mom always has gum or mints around, just one of her little things. I was, shall we say, chemically inclined towards spiritual moments at the time, and so got a pretty big kick out of the "power" of being handed one of Mom's little magic mints. But there really is _something_ very real to that feeling (despite the fact that it doesn't come through as strongly on the usual blend of neurotransmitters). It connects to a deep vein of experience between my brother, mom, and me. I can't count the number of times mom handed out a tic tac or a piece of gum during a car ride when I was growing up. It triggers memories, it puts one in a certain state of mind, to have that little talisman that represents in abstract some huge, irreducible set of experiences. Symbols have power, and it can be a sort of fun and pleasing experience to contemplate the states of mind that a simple tic tac can induce. Another little connection to Mom recently was the two Valentine's day cards she sent to my kids - which each had a little smiley face drawn inside. And again, I was kinda struck by the depth of that association, because I've seen the little smilies she draws on countless notes and cards throughout my life. So instead of just tossing those cards after the week is over as per usual, this time I'm going to cut out that little smile and put it on my bulletin board. A little token of Mom's love, worth way more than the ink and paper it's made of. Also, while I'm in this state of mind, guess I better go give the old lady a call, so I'll stop rambling here.
- chmod600 4y ago
  "Previous human civilizations did a better job of recognizing that we enjoy imbuing objects in the world with meaning, I think." I wonder if that's true or just nostalgia? Certainly there are examples of prized possessions in the past. And the rise of manufacturing makes a lot of things feel less unique. But at the same time, empathy even toward living things took quite a while to develop.
  - noduerme 4y ago
    Anthropomorphizing anything made out of foam with googly-eyes is probably in our DNA.. but even a simple teddy bear is kind of a hack on a kid's emotional brain. (Or, in 2023, an "adult" brain). As a thought experiment, how many people would find it easier to share grief about their lost teddy bear than about their dead mother? Maybe placebo is the wrong word. We channel our souls through anthropomorphized objects to see ourselves more clearly, but in the end we see only dimly and at best recognize that we displace our love and grief metaphorically only to miss the world that we meant the totem to hold for us.
- majikaja 4y ago
  Maybe because humans are also just burnt or left to rot in the ground after they're done?
voz_ 4y ago
Yes, this is a strangely painful thought for me.
lwerdna 4y ago
You're not alone. I've even tried to dream up ways to "humanely" vaporize them so they wouldn't suffer being at the bottom of a trash heap with old food and what not dripping on them, their innards squeezed out, which is sure to be their fate if I donate them. And now I see the same illogical attachment tendencies in a couple of my kids. It's a burden.
- cobertos 4y ago
  I wonder how hard it would be to start a service like that. It would be large branding task (and a fun one!), but I imagine materials and labor cost would be super low.
  - agentwiggles 4y ago
    Maybe you could send a nice box, something kind of evoking a coffin without being overly morbid, and present it as something like a funeral service. Maybe when you receive the "body" you could clean it up and take a nice photo to remember it by. Upsell opportunity - 3D scan the beloved stuffy, so that it can live forever in the Metaverse. Another upsell - cremation. Get a little pendant with the ashes, or spread them into a forest, or something similar. Only half joking, although something about the idea felt a little gross as soon as "upsell opportunity" entered my mind.
    - cobertos 4y ago
      I absolutely love these! I already take pictures of things to remember the memories that are evoked by those objects. A 3D scan would be wonderful imo. Maybe even giving people the ability to recreate the item should they truly want it back for some reason. You could also provide some sort of bulk deal too, for people who have whole boxes of stuffed animals. Though I dont know how that would fit into the whole theming without it feeling like some sort of mass murder box lmao
      - agentwiggles 4y ago
        Haha, right - as I was thinking about it I was feeling simultaneously sentimental and ghoulish. Like, "aww, what a sweet idea, to respectfully retire and preserve someone's well loved toy," and then at the same time "yes, it would be easy to make money here by mass-cremating someone's well loved toys". The line between the two feelings is apparently pretty thin. Perhaps I'll just stay out of the funeral industry lol
ljf 4y ago
Same, I've asked that mine is buried with me, unless either of my kids have a strong desire to keep it. I've ended up with my mother's soft toy lion from the 1950s - I think it will follow the same fate - seems nicer than the bin.

keiferski 4y ago

I think most people have had similar feelings, and there’s nothing weird or strange about it. The modern world is just a very disenchanted [1] place, where we are expected to treat physical objects purely as dead pieces of matter. Previous human civilizations did a better job of recognizing that we enjoy imbuing objects in the world with meaning, I think. 1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disenchantment https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disenchantment

agentwiggles 4y ago
It's funny, because I am not a religious person, but I still strongly believe in the power of symbols. Recently, at a concert my brother handed me a container of Tic tacs, which he told me were given to him by our mom. Mom always has gum or mints around, just one of her little things. I was, shall we say, chemically inclined towards spiritual moments at the time, and so got a pretty big kick out of the "power" of being handed one of Mom's little magic mints. But there really is _something_ very real to that feeling (despite the fact that it doesn't come through as strongly on the usual blend of neurotransmitters). It connects to a deep vein of experience between my brother, mom, and me. I can't count the number of times mom handed out a tic tac or a piece of gum during a car ride when I was growing up. It triggers memories, it puts one in a certain state of mind, to have that little talisman that represents in abstract some huge, irreducible set of experiences. Symbols have power, and it can be a sort of fun and pleasing experience to contemplate the states of mind that a simple tic tac can induce. Another little connection to Mom recently was the two Valentine's day cards she sent to my kids - which each had a little smiley face drawn inside. And again, I was kinda struck by the depth of that association, because I've seen the little smilies she draws on countless notes and cards throughout my life. So instead of just tossing those cards after the week is over as per usual, this time I'm going to cut out that little smile and put it on my bulletin board. A little token of Mom's love, worth way more than the ink and paper it's made of. Also, while I'm in this state of mind, guess I better go give the old lady a call, so I'll stop rambling here.
chmod600 4y ago
"Previous human civilizations did a better job of recognizing that we enjoy imbuing objects in the world with meaning, I think." I wonder if that's true or just nostalgia? Certainly there are examples of prized possessions in the past. And the rise of manufacturing makes a lot of things feel less unique. But at the same time, empathy even toward living things took quite a while to develop.
- noduerme 4y ago
  Anthropomorphizing anything made out of foam with googly-eyes is probably in our DNA.. but even a simple teddy bear is kind of a hack on a kid's emotional brain. (Or, in 2023, an "adult" brain). As a thought experiment, how many people would find it easier to share grief about their lost teddy bear than about their dead mother? Maybe placebo is the wrong word. We channel our souls through anthropomorphized objects to see ourselves more clearly, but in the end we see only dimly and at best recognize that we displace our love and grief metaphorically only to miss the world that we meant the totem to hold for us.
majikaja 4y ago
Maybe because humans are also just burnt or left to rot in the ground after they're done?

voz_ 4y ago

Yes, this is a strangely painful thought for me.

lwerdna 4y ago

You're not alone. I've even tried to dream up ways to "humanely" vaporize them so they wouldn't suffer being at the bottom of a trash heap with old food and what not dripping on them, their innards squeezed out, which is sure to be their fate if I donate them. And now I see the same illogical attachment tendencies in a couple of my kids. It's a burden.

cobertos 4y ago
I wonder how hard it would be to start a service like that. It would be large branding task (and a fun one!), but I imagine materials and labor cost would be super low.
- agentwiggles 4y ago
  Maybe you could send a nice box, something kind of evoking a coffin without being overly morbid, and present it as something like a funeral service. Maybe when you receive the "body" you could clean it up and take a nice photo to remember it by. Upsell opportunity - 3D scan the beloved stuffy, so that it can live forever in the Metaverse. Another upsell - cremation. Get a little pendant with the ashes, or spread them into a forest, or something similar. Only half joking, although something about the idea felt a little gross as soon as "upsell opportunity" entered my mind.
  - cobertos 4y ago
    I absolutely love these! I already take pictures of things to remember the memories that are evoked by those objects. A 3D scan would be wonderful imo. Maybe even giving people the ability to recreate the item should they truly want it back for some reason. You could also provide some sort of bulk deal too, for people who have whole boxes of stuffed animals. Though I dont know how that would fit into the whole theming without it feeling like some sort of mass murder box lmao
    - agentwiggles 4y ago
      Haha, right - as I was thinking about it I was feeling simultaneously sentimental and ghoulish. Like, "aww, what a sweet idea, to respectfully retire and preserve someone's well loved toy," and then at the same time "yes, it would be easy to make money here by mass-cremating someone's well loved toys". The line between the two feelings is apparently pretty thin. Perhaps I'll just stay out of the funeral industry lol

ljf 4y ago

Same, I've asked that mine is buried with me, unless either of my kids have a strong desire to keep it. I've ended up with my mother's soft toy lion from the 1950s - I think it will follow the same fate - seems nicer than the bin.