4 ms·

Jar of Fortune Files

59 points by omnibrain 4y ago

theodric 4y ago
I was starting to get worried that I'm the only one who still uses fortune! Some additional fortunes here, including Bob Ross and Alex Jones: https://github.com/theodric/misfortune/ https://github.com/theodric/misfortune/
haunter 4y ago
>As of November 2017, the quotations (with the exception of tips relevant to system operation) have been removed from FreeBSD entirely after user complaints regarding quotations from Adolf Hitler being contained in some of the files http://fortunes.cat-v.org/freebsd/offensive http://fortunes.cat-v.org/freebsd/offensive
- BeFlatXIII 4y ago
  fortune -o | cowsay | ponysay
twic 4y ago
I have fortunes in a text file, one per line, and a simple python script which picks a random one and puts it into my signature file. I never understood why fortune needed a binary format with a preparation step. Because machines had far less memory back in the old days?
- kevincox 4y ago
  Fairly picking a line out of a text file isn't constant time. It depends on the length of the file. You can pick a random byte offset and find the next line but this prefers longer lines. Preprocessing to basically make a table of line offsets allows constant time access. Probably mattered more when storage was slower.
wolletd 4y ago
I somehow forgot about fortune over the years. Guess I know what will be set up on my severs over the weekend.
shaftoe444 4y ago
fortune | cowsay | lolcat Never gets old.
- omnibrain 4y ago
  ddate | toilet
  - shaftoe444 4y ago
    Never seen ddate before, that is great.
readingnews 4y ago
I am missing something, right? His page does not have any fortune files. The links just point to docs. Is this just a page of links to manpages of fortunes? It literally says: "Here you can find the fortune files from various operating systems." Thought that meant there would at least be links to the locations of the text databases. I still use fortune on a lot of workstations. It usually takes the students a while before they even realize that when they login a short fortune was given (when they have to ssh into a box for example).
- kk_cz 4y ago
  > I am missing something, right? right. Try clicking links in the menu. Although I admit that link labeled "fortune files" leading to a definition of what fortune files are rather than to the fortune files themselves is a bit misleading.
  - readingnews 4y ago
    Huh, I am now officially too damn logical and not brave enough. I saw them and thought, that is a menu for the site, not the actual jar files, why would I click on them? I did not know cat-v was such a curator of fortunes. I like this one but I modded it (and fixed spelling of retrieval. Ok, I did not, Firefox did) using ubuntu is like deciding you want your computer to be run by the [Ministry of Information Retrieval] in the movie Brazil -- kfx
m463 4y ago
This is the one I remember (it was lots funnier when I was younger): Police: Good evening, are you the host? Host: No. Police: We've been getting complaints about this party. Host: About the drugs? Police: No. Host: About the guns, then? Is somebody complaining about the guns? Police: No, the noise. Host: Oh, the noise. Well that makes sense because there are no guns or drugs here. (An enormous explosion is heard in the background.) Or fireworks. Who's complaining about the noise? The neighbors? Police: No, the neighbors fled inland hours ago. Most of the recent complaints have come from Pittsburgh. Do you think you could ask the host to quiet things down? Host: No Problem. (At this point, a Volkswagon bug with primitive religious symbols drawn on the doors emerges from the living room and roars down the hall, past the police and onto the lawn, where it smashes into a tree. Eight guests tumble out onto the grass, moaning.) See? Things are starting to wind down.
readingnews 4y ago
Ha, love his last entry on cat-v jar: (#cat-v) khm → occasionally someone on hacker news will link to an article so they can all misunderstand it together
westhom 4y ago
Was nostalgic recently for fortune spitting out at the top of my old slackware shell. So I added it to my Ubuntu VPS shell. Let's just say, my sense of humor has changed a lot since I was 16. But 25% of the time I find them amusing.
MichaelMoser123 4y ago
my script, it runs a $(fortune | cowsay) pipeline and passes the text through NLTK sentiment analysis, now the ascii cow smiles when the score is high, and it is sad when the score is very low. That makes a fortune cow with a personality, almost like a real pet. https://github.com/MoserMichael/opinionated-fortune-cow https://github.com/MoserMichael/opinionated-fortune-cow

59 points by omnibrain 4y ago

I was starting to get worried that I'm the only one who still uses fortune! Some additional fortunes here, including Bob Ross and Alex Jones: https://github.com/theodric/misfortune/ https://github.com/theodric/misfortune/

haunter 4y ago

>As of November 2017, the quotations (with the exception of tips relevant to system operation) have been removed from FreeBSD entirely after user complaints regarding quotations from Adolf Hitler being contained in some of the files http://fortunes.cat-v.org/freebsd/offensive http://fortunes.cat-v.org/freebsd/offensive

BeFlatXIII 4y ago
fortune -o | cowsay | ponysay

twic 4y ago

I have fortunes in a text file, one per line, and a simple python script which picks a random one and puts it into my signature file. I never understood why fortune needed a binary format with a preparation step. Because machines had far less memory back in the old days?

kevincox 4y ago
Fairly picking a line out of a text file isn't constant time. It depends on the length of the file. You can pick a random byte offset and find the next line but this prefers longer lines. Preprocessing to basically make a table of line offsets allows constant time access. Probably mattered more when storage was slower.

wolletd 4y ago

I somehow forgot about fortune over the years. Guess I know what will be set up on my severs over the weekend.

shaftoe444 4y ago

fortune | cowsay | lolcat Never gets old.

omnibrain 4y ago
ddate | toilet
- shaftoe444 4y ago
  Never seen ddate before, that is great.

readingnews 4y ago

I am missing something, right? His page does not have any fortune files. The links just point to docs. Is this just a page of links to manpages of fortunes? It literally says: "Here you can find the fortune files from various operating systems." Thought that meant there would at least be links to the locations of the text databases. I still use fortune on a lot of workstations. It usually takes the students a while before they even realize that when they login a short fortune was given (when they have to ssh into a box for example).

kk_cz 4y ago
> I am missing something, right? right. Try clicking links in the menu. Although I admit that link labeled "fortune files" leading to a definition of what fortune files are rather than to the fortune files themselves is a bit misleading.
- readingnews 4y ago
  Huh, I am now officially too damn logical and not brave enough. I saw them and thought, that is a menu for the site, not the actual jar files, why would I click on them? I did not know cat-v was such a curator of fortunes. I like this one but I modded it (and fixed spelling of retrieval. Ok, I did not, Firefox did) using ubuntu is like deciding you want your computer to be run by the [Ministry of Information Retrieval] in the movie Brazil -- kfx

m463 4y ago

This is the one I remember (it was lots funnier when I was younger): Police: Good evening, are you the host? Host: No. Police: We've been getting complaints about this party. Host: About the drugs? Police: No. Host: About the guns, then? Is somebody complaining about the guns? Police: No, the noise. Host: Oh, the noise. Well that makes sense because there are no guns or drugs here. (An enormous explosion is heard in the background.) Or fireworks. Who's complaining about the noise? The neighbors? Police: No, the neighbors fled inland hours ago. Most of the recent complaints have come from Pittsburgh. Do you think you could ask the host to quiet things down? Host: No Problem. (At this point, a Volkswagon bug with primitive religious symbols drawn on the doors emerges from the living room and roars down the hall, past the police and onto the lawn, where it smashes into a tree. Eight guests tumble out onto the grass, moaning.) See? Things are starting to wind down.

readingnews 4y ago

Ha, love his last entry on cat-v jar: (#cat-v) khm → occasionally someone on hacker news will link to an article so they can all misunderstand it together

westhom 4y ago

Was nostalgic recently for fortune spitting out at the top of my old slackware shell. So I added it to my Ubuntu VPS shell. Let's just say, my sense of humor has changed a lot since I was 16. But 25% of the time I find them amusing.

MichaelMoser123 4y ago

my script, it runs a $(fortune | cowsay) pipeline and passes the text through NLTK sentiment analysis, now the ascii cow smiles when the score is high, and it is sad when the score is very low. That makes a fortune cow with a personality, almost like a real pet. https://github.com/MoserMichael/opinionated-fortune-cow https://github.com/MoserMichael/opinionated-fortune-cow