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I was just trying to do some metacognition and observe how I write, but apparently it's really just word by word. I neither form full sentences, nor full words

I was just trying to do some metacognition and observe how I write, but apparently it's really just word by word. I neither form full sentences, nor full words or even just abstract imagination in my head. The words just appear from the "darkness", with some kind of sophistication postprocessor that tries to make some output more verbose or use more appropriate adjectives. Is this how people with aphantasia live? I don't like it. I expected something more sophisticated. Maybe that's why my writing often appears like a barely connected verbal diarrhoea that looks like an "inner monologue" writing task back in school. How do you experience it?

Ensorceled 4y ago
There is definitely something else going on ... if I stop writing and come back to it often the sentence fragment I was writing makes no sense at all. If it was word by word, I'd just start writing again. Also, I usually "hear" the next segment fragment in my head before I'm typing it.
akomtu 4y ago
That's how it looks like of your mind was below your consciousness level, i.e. if your focus was on higher ideas, and you just commanded the mind to produce specific thoughts. That's similar to how we control our body. However you might be at the ideas level already, but unable to see those ideas, so it looks like darkness to you. I believe you shpuld be able to see thoughts again simply by persistently focusing your attention on them, just like you could (but shouldn't) control low-level body functions by switching attention to them. If your consciousness was focused on thoughts, you'd see something like a very active 3d whiteboard filled with fine shapes, that you can create, change and destroy at will.