5 ms·

Reading the responses to some of these posts it feels like the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction in the "the company is not your family" discuss

Reading the responses to some of these posts it feels like the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction in the "the company is not your family" discussion. Yes, if you expect corporate America to always treat you fairly you're going to end up disappointed. But spending 9 years at a place and not even giving a little bit of yourself to the company seems even worse. It's OK to think that your boss cares about you as a person, it's OK to make friends at work, and it's OK to believe in the company mission, as long as you don't overdo it.

Xeronate 4y ago
Your sentiment is nice in theory, but in reality it's just a recipe for getting taken advantage of.
- librish 4y ago
  It's OK to be taken advantage of a little bit.
  - buggy6257 4y ago
    …why? Sorry I’m not being flippant here I mean it. Why would this be okay? What is the reason that I would want someone to be able to intentionally take advantage of me as a person in a way that benefits them but not me when I have no personal connection to them? Moreover, why would I let a corporation or other business do that? Im genuinely curious where your thinking is at with this and hope you’ll elaborate beyond this short reply you gave.
    - librish 4y ago
      Staying emotionally guarded for 9 years is a bad trade-off with having a layoff feel less bad.
znpy 4y ago
The author of the post clearly would agree with you. And got fired anyway.
- znpy 4y ago
  This is not pure cynicism though: had they decided to leave after the first round of layoff they would probably be in a better position when negotiating the next job (something that sadly now they have to do anyway, but as someone currently unemployed).
Manuel_D 4y ago
I think the broader point is, giving 40+ hours per week to a company is already giving enough of yourself to the company. I think it's great for people to put in extra effort and time, if you're inspired to do it. Of course, you should care about your boss and co-worker as people and become friends with them. But never forget they're co-workers, not family. At the end of the day, labor demands change and if it's in the company's best interest to let people go then that's what's going to happen.
- librish 4y ago
  In the context of this post what does "But never forget they're co-workers, not family." mean? What should the author have done differently and how would that have changed things?
  - Manuel_D 4y ago
    It means you need to be cognizant of the fact that if it's in the company's best interest to let you go, they will. And this is not unusual or peculiar. This passage stood out to me: > The email said we'd lose access at 12:30pm. At 12:28 I decided, "I'll break up with you before you can dump me." I signed out and closed my work machine for the last time. > And then I started to cry. > I cried despite the generous severance package. I cried despite emotionally preparing for the moment. I cried despite being genuinely excited for what comes next. For nine years, so much of my identity has been wrapped up in my relationship with Twilio, and that relationship ended today. It is abundantly clear that the author invested too much emotion and too much of his identity into his employer. Your relationship is not one of family. You can't fire your brother or child [1], but company can and do fire their employees. The fact that he had such a profound reaction means he needed to invest less emotion in his employer and adopt a more mercenary attitude. I've been laid off before, it happened to me when my previous employer was heavily impacted by COVID. I didn't cry, my attitude was "yep, makes sense - I'd probably do the same in their shoes." I don't want to sound mean or belittling, but it's just not healthy to have the author's reaction to being laid off. I find it funny how people talk about a "mercenary" attitude in the workforce with a negative connotation. What's not ethical is when people treat military service like picking up jobs off LinkedIn, and apply the same attitude of the civilian workforce towards the profession of arms. It's totally normal to have a "mercenary" attitude in the civilian workforce. It doesn't mean don't be friends with your co-workers - I'm sure the dudes at Blackwater and Executive Outcomes are friends with their co-workers - but it does mean you need to be prepared for the day that the company decides your employment is no longer necessary. 1. to be pedantic, people do cut off family members, but usually for reasons far more serious than maximizing profit

Xeronate 4y ago

Your sentiment is nice in theory, but in reality it's just a recipe for getting taken advantage of.

librish 4y ago
It's OK to be taken advantage of a little bit.
- buggy6257 4y ago
  …why? Sorry I’m not being flippant here I mean it. Why would this be okay? What is the reason that I would want someone to be able to intentionally take advantage of me as a person in a way that benefits them but not me when I have no personal connection to them? Moreover, why would I let a corporation or other business do that? Im genuinely curious where your thinking is at with this and hope you’ll elaborate beyond this short reply you gave.
  - librish 4y ago
    Staying emotionally guarded for 9 years is a bad trade-off with having a layoff feel less bad.

znpy 4y ago

The author of the post clearly would agree with you. And got fired anyway.

znpy 4y ago
This is not pure cynicism though: had they decided to leave after the first round of layoff they would probably be in a better position when negotiating the next job (something that sadly now they have to do anyway, but as someone currently unemployed).

Manuel_D 4y ago

I think the broader point is, giving 40+ hours per week to a company is already giving enough of yourself to the company. I think it's great for people to put in extra effort and time, if you're inspired to do it. Of course, you should care about your boss and co-worker as people and become friends with them. But never forget they're co-workers, not family. At the end of the day, labor demands change and if it's in the company's best interest to let people go then that's what's going to happen.

librish 4y ago
In the context of this post what does "But never forget they're co-workers, not family." mean? What should the author have done differently and how would that have changed things?
- Manuel_D 4y ago
  It means you need to be cognizant of the fact that if it's in the company's best interest to let you go, they will. And this is not unusual or peculiar. This passage stood out to me: > The email said we'd lose access at 12:30pm. At 12:28 I decided, "I'll break up with you before you can dump me." I signed out and closed my work machine for the last time. > And then I started to cry. > I cried despite the generous severance package. I cried despite emotionally preparing for the moment. I cried despite being genuinely excited for what comes next. For nine years, so much of my identity has been wrapped up in my relationship with Twilio, and that relationship ended today. It is abundantly clear that the author invested too much emotion and too much of his identity into his employer. Your relationship is not one of family. You can't fire your brother or child [1], but company can and do fire their employees. The fact that he had such a profound reaction means he needed to invest less emotion in his employer and adopt a more mercenary attitude. I've been laid off before, it happened to me when my previous employer was heavily impacted by COVID. I didn't cry, my attitude was "yep, makes sense - I'd probably do the same in their shoes." I don't want to sound mean or belittling, but it's just not healthy to have the author's reaction to being laid off. I find it funny how people talk about a "mercenary" attitude in the workforce with a negative connotation. What's not ethical is when people treat military service like picking up jobs off LinkedIn, and apply the same attitude of the civilian workforce towards the profession of arms. It's totally normal to have a "mercenary" attitude in the civilian workforce. It doesn't mean don't be friends with your co-workers - I'm sure the dudes at Blackwater and Executive Outcomes are friends with their co-workers - but it does mean you need to be prepared for the day that the company decides your employment is no longer necessary. 1. to be pedantic, people do cut off family members, but usually for reasons far more serious than maximizing profit