I regret to inform you that due to the recent haunting of a certain haunted house, Microsoft has had to layoff a total of 15% of its workforce. This unfortunate

I regret to inform you that due to the recent haunting of a certain haunted house, Microsoft has had to layoff a total of 15% of its workforce. This unfortunate situation has been caused by the evil ghost of a former Microsoft employee who, long ago, was not given the recognition he deserved. In the time since, he has exacted his revenge by haunting the house, causing an extreme disruption to the internal workings of the company.