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Decisions such as what kind of parents birth you?

by sva_ 4y ago

mensetmanusman 4y ago
If you want kids, having parents nearby can be the difference between sanity and insanity.
- cmrdporcupine 4y ago
  Can corroborate. And once you have kids in school and a career in one location, it's not going to be trivial to move around. Moved away from family, for work in my 20s, ended up with wife and family. But now even with remote work and the ability for me to work anywhere I want, and a kid with health issues and family could help... moving back to where my parents are (now in their late 70s) isn't a simple option. Means pulling kids from school and friends, wife from my in-laws, it's a whole thing. Think carefully how you start your career in your 20s.
  - blobbers 4y ago
    Yes. Silicon Valley is a trap. You can’t afford to have parents nearby unless they already are (as these folks have) Everything related to families is a cash grab and a SFH in Palo Alto, Peninsula or Cupertino means throwing any hope of early financial freedom. A FAANG job will pay more but for how you can live almost anywhere else in the country, a remote job at 2/3 the salary is much much better.
- nmfisher 4y ago
  My wife and I live in an entirely different country from both our parents. Our first was born early last year, and my mother-in-law only just got a chance to come and help out for a few weeks. Having family around to help take care of the kids makes a HUGE difference (and not just financially), particularly with two working parents. It's obviously doable without it, but if you have the option, I would strongly advise at least considering moving somewhere close to family who can help out.
NhanH 4y ago
Decision to move away from your parent permanently. By the time you are in your late 20s/ early 30s, you need to decide where you would settle down. Your parent is in their late 50s, they aren’t moving anywhere and still be happy. So you have to make a choice to either live near them or not.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- flangola7 4y ago
  Who says you need to settle down in one location? My parents haven't lived in any time zone more than five or six years.
  - barbazoo 4y ago
    If you have kids there's their education and social lives to consider as well. That might be a reason not people to settle down.
  - peoplefromibiza 4y ago
    > Who says you need to settle down in one location? your family, if you have one. You can't move around kids the same way you do with your backpack. Also: aging parents and family relatives that matter to you, you don't want to be 14 hours by plane away if something happens to them. disclaimer: I don't have kids, but may nephews
    - flangola7 4y ago
      > your family, if you have one. > You can't move around kids the same way you do with your backpack. As you may have noticed, I exist . By the time I was 18 I had lived in five countries across three different continents. I consider myself blessed to now have long childhood friends from all over the world, and familiarity with a variety of mindsets, languages, and cultures. > Also: aging parents and family relatives that matter to you, you don't want to be 14 hours by plane away if something happens to them. There are durable social apparatuses that do not hinge on close blood relations for the elderly to be supported.

Decisions such as what kind of parents birth you?

by sva_ 4y ago

Decisions such as what kind of parents birth you?

mensetmanusman 4y ago

If you want kids, having parents nearby can be the difference between sanity and insanity.

cmrdporcupine 4y ago
Can corroborate. And once you have kids in school and a career in one location, it's not going to be trivial to move around. Moved away from family, for work in my 20s, ended up with wife and family. But now even with remote work and the ability for me to work anywhere I want, and a kid with health issues and family could help... moving back to where my parents are (now in their late 70s) isn't a simple option. Means pulling kids from school and friends, wife from my in-laws, it's a whole thing. Think carefully how you start your career in your 20s.
- blobbers 4y ago
  Yes. Silicon Valley is a trap. You can’t afford to have parents nearby unless they already are (as these folks have) Everything related to families is a cash grab and a SFH in Palo Alto, Peninsula or Cupertino means throwing any hope of early financial freedom. A FAANG job will pay more but for how you can live almost anywhere else in the country, a remote job at 2/3 the salary is much much better.
nmfisher 4y ago
My wife and I live in an entirely different country from both our parents. Our first was born early last year, and my mother-in-law only just got a chance to come and help out for a few weeks. Having family around to help take care of the kids makes a HUGE difference (and not just financially), particularly with two working parents. It's obviously doable without it, but if you have the option, I would strongly advise at least considering moving somewhere close to family who can help out.

NhanH 4y ago

Decision to move away from your parent permanently. By the time you are in your late 20s/ early 30s, you need to decide where you would settle down. Your parent is in their late 50s, they aren’t moving anywhere and still be happy. So you have to make a choice to either live near them or not.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
flangola7 4y ago
Who says you need to settle down in one location? My parents haven't lived in any time zone more than five or six years.
- barbazoo 4y ago
  If you have kids there's their education and social lives to consider as well. That might be a reason not people to settle down.
- peoplefromibiza 4y ago
  > Who says you need to settle down in one location? your family, if you have one. You can't move around kids the same way you do with your backpack. Also: aging parents and family relatives that matter to you, you don't want to be 14 hours by plane away if something happens to them. disclaimer: I don't have kids, but may nephews
  - flangola7 4y ago
    > your family, if you have one. > You can't move around kids the same way you do with your backpack. As you may have noticed, I exist . By the time I was 18 I had lived in five countries across three different continents. I consider myself blessed to now have long childhood friends from all over the world, and familiarity with a variety of mindsets, languages, and cultures. > Also: aging parents and family relatives that matter to you, you don't want to be 14 hours by plane away if something happens to them. There are durable social apparatuses that do not hinge on close blood relations for the elderly to be supported.