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I've been waiting to discover whether or not I'm getting laid off (probably not, my M2 tells me). But anyways, yeah I'm at a big tech company going through rou

by RajT88 4y ago

I've been waiting to discover whether or not I'm getting laid off (probably not, my M2 tells me). But anyways, yeah I'm at a big tech company going through rounds of layoffs. I'm at a good point where I'm wrapping a bunch of stuff up. So I've been trying to make sure I tie up all loose ends and make sure, if the axe lands on my neck, that my colleagues can pick up everything where I left off. After round one, it wasn't the anxiety (I'm in a good spot, companies are hungry to poach from tech companies like mine; I'll land on my feet), it was the lack of will to really work too terribly hard until I knew that I'd be sticking around. I still don't know. So I'm not working overly hard of late. I have started to see people I know get the axe though, and that has an effect on you. I'm only working hard on wrap-up activities, and turning down new big stuff. Congrats (Big Company), you played yourself. Want to keep morale up? Don't hire a shit ton of people, and then fire a shit ton of people a few months later.

grioghar 4y ago
Survivor’s Guilt and a compulsive need to justify my continued existence in the role, coupled with sheer terror of losing my income, my home, and all the auxiliary benefits thereof have made me NEED to be seen by management. My code commits are up, my bug finds are significantly higher, and I’ve taken on educational and sales initiatives to drive adoption and revenue in much bigger ways. I was a poor Welfare kid who never had any idea about seeing the money I have in tech. Now, even though I’ve got 6 months of savings and skills that I’m sure will land me just fine, I’m pushing harder after watching a 25% layoff happen and seemingly more low-profile layoffs and reorganization. It weird the first time you get paid a SV compensation, but live in the Midwest, making your income stretch, saving, and getting a few nice things: there’s still that inner poor kid who isn’t sure where the next meal’s coming from, or if you’d be able to pay for vehicle repairs or get your kids’ braces taken care of; all things that seemed unimaginable just five years back working IT regionally. There’s the underlying fear that it’s all going to go away and you’ll be back to paycheck-to-paycheck after learning life doesn’t have to be that way. That’s what keeps me motivated; I cha fed my stars, and I’m looking to make sure I keep them changed and give my kids a life I couldn’t have fathomed. So, I push harder and work even more to make sure my place at the table is either secured, or a great portfolio to have on hand to show the next place. I can’t tell if this is noble or pathological, but I know I’m stretched thin emotionally and am not sleeping because of it. Here it is 3AM, the soul’s midnight, and I’m thinking about a few projects I still need to do initial commits on and start some regression testing… Bah. Tomorrow…er, later today, right? And on my weekend even. Definitely pathological.

by RajT88 4y ago

grioghar 4y ago

Survivor’s Guilt and a compulsive need to justify my continued existence in the role, coupled with sheer terror of losing my income, my home, and all the auxiliary benefits thereof have made me NEED to be seen by management. My code commits are up, my bug finds are significantly higher, and I’ve taken on educational and sales initiatives to drive adoption and revenue in much bigger ways. I was a poor Welfare kid who never had any idea about seeing the money I have in tech. Now, even though I’ve got 6 months of savings and skills that I’m sure will land me just fine, I’m pushing harder after watching a 25% layoff happen and seemingly more low-profile layoffs and reorganization. It weird the first time you get paid a SV compensation, but live in the Midwest, making your income stretch, saving, and getting a few nice things: there’s still that inner poor kid who isn’t sure where the next meal’s coming from, or if you’d be able to pay for vehicle repairs or get your kids’ braces taken care of; all things that seemed unimaginable just five years back working IT regionally. There’s the underlying fear that it’s all going to go away and you’ll be back to paycheck-to-paycheck after learning life doesn’t have to be that way. That’s what keeps me motivated; I cha fed my stars, and I’m looking to make sure I keep them changed and give my kids a life I couldn’t have fathomed. So, I push harder and work even more to make sure my place at the table is either secured, or a great portfolio to have on hand to show the next place. I can’t tell if this is noble or pathological, but I know I’m stretched thin emotionally and am not sleeping because of it. Here it is 3AM, the soul’s midnight, and I’m thinking about a few projects I still need to do initial commits on and start some regression testing… Bah. Tomorrow…er, later today, right? And on my weekend even. Definitely pathological.