> Ultimately, envy is the result of not knowing who you are. It arises when you outsource your definitions of success to whatever norms you’ve adopted – whether

> Ultimately, envy is the result of not knowing who you are. It arises when you outsource your definitions of success to whatever norms you’ve adopted – whether consciously or not. In one person’s case, it might be wealth. In another, it may be social media followers. In another, it could be the size of a home. Regardless of what the barometer is, the fact that you desire it means that you’re looking beyond the contents of your mind and into the collective pool of society. You’re ceasing to look into what makes you uniquely you, and are gazing into the chaos of chasing that which you don’t understand. Envy, can't just be the result of not knowing who you are, can it? The former is a very specific emotion, and the latter is a nebulous statement of your self-awareness. At its heart, Envy has something to do with what you desire but do not possess while some other people do. It can't just be a lack of self-awareness. What is the criteria for knowing who you are? Is it the realization that you should stop desiring anything which other people possess but you don't? That sounds more like a rationalization than an antidote. When Bob loves Eve, and is henceforth envious of Tom who's Eve's current crush, does it mean that Bob is "looking beyond the contents of his mind into the collective pool of society"---being Eve, and ceasing to look into what make Bob uniquely Bob? And, if he instead start gazing into himself, he'll discover that he doesn't love Eve, that his burning desire is nothing but the outsourced definition of success? And at the end of the day, isn't the desire to _not be envious_ also part of the social norm, and hence an outsourced definition of success? I feel that these kind of nebulous concepts (outsourcing definition of success, know thyself, societal norms, etc.) just don't match up to the reality. When I'm picturing the actual envious times which I or the people I know have experienced, they provide neither a sufficient framework to understand these emotions, nor the antidote, while often assuming that you need an antidote. Usually you don't. Envy is unpleasant, makes you look bitter, but all in all, pretty common place. People don't show deep sympathy to you, but you know, they also don't judge you for it. It's also part of your motivation to better yourself. There's nothing wrong with wanting what other people want. What other people want, other people might have already gotten, and that could make you feel envy, and that is perfectly natural. Recent years, especially on HN, I've read quite a few essays that seem to want to "turn off" negative emotions and regard the resulting tranquil state of mind as a virtue. It's like a new fad of doing psychological plastic surgery, where being envy or sad is like having a wrinkle which must be eradicated. No wonder people signed up to be Cyberman in Doctor Who. Maybe that _is_ going to be the new trend. Fitter, happier, fond but not in love, nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate, nothing so childish. I disagree with that. I'd rather live with the emotions, including anger, envy, jealousy, burning desires, or ranting, than to be, just, zen.