5 ms·

I wish I had an office to go to. I never leave my house anymore and it is becoming very very old. Before everyone says, “oh, go get some hobbies and live your

I wish I had an office to go to. I never leave my house anymore and it is becoming very very old. Before everyone says, “oh, go get some hobbies and live your life, work isn’t here for your social life,” understand that I have young children and no free time. I am nearing middle age in a city I moved to for work. I don’t have the base level of social interaction most people inherit by birth or school and no time to build one. I miss asking my coworkers how their weekends went.

fastball 4y ago
What about a co-working space?
- lampshades 4y ago
  I do go to a co-working space occasionally and my employer provides the credits for up to twice a week. But, it’s not the same.
  - fastball 4y ago
    Fair. I think it really depends on the co-working space and how you approach it. I've worked at some co-working spaces where there was no sense of community and it felt hard to socialize. I've worked at others that managed to cultivate very tight knit communities that were better than any socializing I've done with "real" coworkers.
rr888 4y ago
I got a job back where everyone is in the office 4/5 days a week. Its great I love it, its really annoying when someone works from home a day and you can just go over problems. Look for jobs like this, they're still out there.
- lampshades 4y ago
  Yeah, but then I lose my remote SF salary. Regardless, I have thought a lot about doing this and might still.
- Someone1234 4y ago
  > its really annoying when someone works from home a day and you can just go over problems. If you have no way of communicating with people remotely, that seems like the core issue. Or you’re just not using the tools available?
  - rr888 4y ago
    Sure in my experience talking face to face is much much easier than remotely. Maybe I dont have the right tools or maybe not enough experience but I definitely do not like it.
piyh 4y ago
I've come to The realization that the only socialization I can do now are on weekends with other parents that have children the same age, or after 9:00 p.m. if I can drive out somewhere solo while my wife stays home.
- lampshades 4y ago
  I walked to Chipotle around 9:30 the other night and had the same realization that if I want to do anything, it has to be later at night While my wife is home.
aembleton 4y ago
> I miss asking my coworkers how their weekends went. What stops you from doing that when working remotely? You don't just have to chat about work.
- enumjorge 4y ago
  I’d assume the parent comment is more interested in the in-person interaction than the content of small talk.
- lampshades 4y ago
  Like enum said, I want the face-to-face interaction. Not to say I haven’t tried to make small talk, I have. Talking about non-work things with natively remote co-workers is awkward. It’s clear that they don’t want to do it and I don’t want to force myself on them. I’ve heard the argument, “well think about how they feel when you’re in the office and they can’t get away from your asking about their weekend,” but I’ve never worked in an office and not created genuine friendships that persisted outside of work. I’m sure full remote work is fine for a lot of people and if I weren’t married and raising people, I’d probably be one of them. Still, remote is preferable to full in-office. A couple of days of the week, maybe less, feels like the right amount of time in the office. Companies could downsize and schedule certain teams for certain days.
kraquepype 4y ago
Same here, I've been fully remote since the beginning of 2020 (Covid) and its been a blur. With young children around its difficult to get lost in work, and hobbies are possible but its a hard push to fit them in, so they are relegated to times where things are calm. Luckily my team was in the office at least 2 days a week prior so I had those connections built up already - it wasn't a huge social hit and still felt those connections through remote communications since the foundation was there. The office had re-opened and in mid-2022 I was able to start going into the office, albeit with no direct coworkers. It was nice to have some kind of routine again. I recently started a fully position. Its been hard to adjust, and has taken a toll on me. Onboarding went well, but its been tough to get situated with a group of new people that I have had little to no social interaction with. I'm hoping things click soon. There is an optional office space, though no one on my immediate team would be there. I'd like to get some time there once I break out of my rut.
- lampshades 4y ago
  I also went fully remote, for the first time, with COVID. It’s very hard to build connections when starting a remote job. I’ve started two jobs since COVID and still don’t have the connection that I had with the people I worked with before COVID.

fastball 4y ago

What about a co-working space?

lampshades 4y ago
I do go to a co-working space occasionally and my employer provides the credits for up to twice a week. But, it’s not the same.
- fastball 4y ago
  Fair. I think it really depends on the co-working space and how you approach it. I've worked at some co-working spaces where there was no sense of community and it felt hard to socialize. I've worked at others that managed to cultivate very tight knit communities that were better than any socializing I've done with "real" coworkers.

rr888 4y ago

I got a job back where everyone is in the office 4/5 days a week. Its great I love it, its really annoying when someone works from home a day and you can just go over problems. Look for jobs like this, they're still out there.

lampshades 4y ago
Yeah, but then I lose my remote SF salary. Regardless, I have thought a lot about doing this and might still.
Someone1234 4y ago
> its really annoying when someone works from home a day and you can just go over problems. If you have no way of communicating with people remotely, that seems like the core issue. Or you’re just not using the tools available?
- rr888 4y ago
  Sure in my experience talking face to face is much much easier than remotely. Maybe I dont have the right tools or maybe not enough experience but I definitely do not like it.

piyh 4y ago

I've come to The realization that the only socialization I can do now are on weekends with other parents that have children the same age, or after 9:00 p.m. if I can drive out somewhere solo while my wife stays home.

lampshades 4y ago
I walked to Chipotle around 9:30 the other night and had the same realization that if I want to do anything, it has to be later at night While my wife is home.

aembleton 4y ago

> I miss asking my coworkers how their weekends went. What stops you from doing that when working remotely? You don't just have to chat about work.

enumjorge 4y ago
I’d assume the parent comment is more interested in the in-person interaction than the content of small talk.
lampshades 4y ago
Like enum said, I want the face-to-face interaction. Not to say I haven’t tried to make small talk, I have. Talking about non-work things with natively remote co-workers is awkward. It’s clear that they don’t want to do it and I don’t want to force myself on them. I’ve heard the argument, “well think about how they feel when you’re in the office and they can’t get away from your asking about their weekend,” but I’ve never worked in an office and not created genuine friendships that persisted outside of work. I’m sure full remote work is fine for a lot of people and if I weren’t married and raising people, I’d probably be one of them. Still, remote is preferable to full in-office. A couple of days of the week, maybe less, feels like the right amount of time in the office. Companies could downsize and schedule certain teams for certain days.

kraquepype 4y ago

Same here, I've been fully remote since the beginning of 2020 (Covid) and its been a blur. With young children around its difficult to get lost in work, and hobbies are possible but its a hard push to fit them in, so they are relegated to times where things are calm. Luckily my team was in the office at least 2 days a week prior so I had those connections built up already - it wasn't a huge social hit and still felt those connections through remote communications since the foundation was there. The office had re-opened and in mid-2022 I was able to start going into the office, albeit with no direct coworkers. It was nice to have some kind of routine again. I recently started a fully position. Its been hard to adjust, and has taken a toll on me. Onboarding went well, but its been tough to get situated with a group of new people that I have had little to no social interaction with. I'm hoping things click soon. There is an optional office space, though no one on my immediate team would be there. I'd like to get some time there once I break out of my rut.

lampshades 4y ago
I also went fully remote, for the first time, with COVID. It’s very hard to build connections when starting a remote job. I’ve started two jobs since COVID and still don’t have the connection that I had with the people I worked with before COVID.