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What you need is happiness!! I’ve had this beaten in to me many times, that you need discipline. But for me, what eventually worked was learning to love myself

by Gud 4y ago

What you need is happiness!! I’ve had this beaten in to me many times, that you need discipline. But for me, what eventually worked was learning to love myself and to relax. Life is a marathon and tomorrow is another day. Whatever issues I had was not a lack of motivation nor discipline; I had an inner turmoil that was disrupting my ability to execute.

hirvi74 4y ago
But those days can add up to weeks, and then to months, and then to years. Sure, one day or one week is not an issue in the grand scheme of things, but when you have been having difficulty executing for multiple weeks, months, or years, then I think there is a more serious issues that should be addressed. For me, I figured out the cause, but I have yet to find any helpful, long-term solutions.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- srcreigh 4y ago
  What was the cause for you?
- tmshu1 4y ago
  Would be curious to hear what you’ve discovered the cause to be, and potential solutions you’ve considered. In my experience with my own difficulties executing, I’ve found that ineffective action comes from inner struggle. Inner struggle comes from an inaccurate view about how thought works. See my comment here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34692137#34699010 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34692137#34699010. With less inner turmoil, inspired, effective action becomes effortless to do and maintain.
tmshu1 4y ago
100% this. Screw motivation. Screw discipline too. Tricking yourself (motivation, discipline, etc.) to do something means you don’t really want to it. This results in a feeling of struggle, and also repression. And thus, ineffective outcomes as you sabotage yourself or fail to “stick with” something. We all naturally know what it is we really want to do. So stop. Relax. Listen to what that inner voice whisper, right now. Not to what others say you “should” do. Ask yourself: “what would I love to create?” Listening to oneself may not come naturally. We are trained by society, our parents, and schools to listen to “authorities”. So thoughts about what we “should” do run rampant in our minds. But who’s the greatest authority of your life? You. Once, I truly internalized the above, everything changed. It can happen to you too.
- isghoor 4y ago
  Thank you!
mattr47 4y ago
It took discipline for me to get into a workout routine, 4 days a week. Now if I don't do it I get stressed out. But if I had not pushed through the first two months of exercising those 4 days a week with discipline, I would have high blood pressure, probably be pre-diabetic. Now I have a great BP, blood work is fantastic and I have more energy during the day than ever before. I had to use discipline and motivation to change what made me happy. Things that are generally good for you are not easy to do. Id rather binge netflix, play video games all night and eat ice cream in my younger days because that me me happy. I was actually just killing myself quicker. The logic of do what makes you feel good or happy is so flawed. Doing heroine or shooting morphine feels amazing, but that does not make it ok. Ultimate we are like the rat who will walk across a shock pad time and time again to receive an instant organized versus turning toward the female rat in heat.
- Gud 4y ago
  I am not saying do things that make you feel good. I am saying that you have to learn to love yourself, despite your flaws. So with the realization that staying up all night and playing video games and eating garbage is bad for you, you decided to work out and take better care for yourself. I too had the same realization, because I realized It is the path to happiness. Personally I believe we have more agency than lab rats.
OkayPhysicist 4y ago
The problem is that it's easy (very easy) to get stuck in local maxima with regards to happiness. Once I'm in the flow of programming, it's definitely more fun than whatever fidget videogame I'm playing while watching Netflix. But getting started is significantly more work, so I procrastinate to the point of not doing it at all. Or like how having an athletic (and thus conventionally attractive) body type opens up far more oppurtunities for greater happiness than being more rotund, but achieving it requires an ongoing sacrifice of short-term gratification (eating less, working out). In a fantastic quote from Antony Bourdain: "I understand there's a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy."
- Gud 4y ago
  When you are watching Netflix while simultaneously playing video games you are most likely hiding from your problems. I used to do the same(still do sometimes), but these moments of joy are not happiness. They are a distraction from the suffering you are experiencing in real life. Just my 2 cents

by Gud 4y ago

hirvi74 4y ago

But those days can add up to weeks, and then to months, and then to years. Sure, one day or one week is not an issue in the grand scheme of things, but when you have been having difficulty executing for multiple weeks, months, or years, then I think there is a more serious issues that should be addressed. For me, I figured out the cause, but I have yet to find any helpful, long-term solutions.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
srcreigh 4y ago
What was the cause for you?
tmshu1 4y ago
Would be curious to hear what you’ve discovered the cause to be, and potential solutions you’ve considered. In my experience with my own difficulties executing, I’ve found that ineffective action comes from inner struggle. Inner struggle comes from an inaccurate view about how thought works. See my comment here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34692137#34699010 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34692137#34699010. With less inner turmoil, inspired, effective action becomes effortless to do and maintain.

tmshu1 4y ago

100% this. Screw motivation. Screw discipline too. Tricking yourself (motivation, discipline, etc.) to do something means you don’t really want to it. This results in a feeling of struggle, and also repression. And thus, ineffective outcomes as you sabotage yourself or fail to “stick with” something. We all naturally know what it is we really want to do. So stop. Relax. Listen to what that inner voice whisper, right now. Not to what others say you “should” do. Ask yourself: “what would I love to create?” Listening to oneself may not come naturally. We are trained by society, our parents, and schools to listen to “authorities”. So thoughts about what we “should” do run rampant in our minds. But who’s the greatest authority of your life? You. Once, I truly internalized the above, everything changed. It can happen to you too.

isghoor 4y ago
Thank you!

mattr47 4y ago

It took discipline for me to get into a workout routine, 4 days a week. Now if I don't do it I get stressed out. But if I had not pushed through the first two months of exercising those 4 days a week with discipline, I would have high blood pressure, probably be pre-diabetic. Now I have a great BP, blood work is fantastic and I have more energy during the day than ever before. I had to use discipline and motivation to change what made me happy. Things that are generally good for you are not easy to do. Id rather binge netflix, play video games all night and eat ice cream in my younger days because that me me happy. I was actually just killing myself quicker. The logic of do what makes you feel good or happy is so flawed. Doing heroine or shooting morphine feels amazing, but that does not make it ok. Ultimate we are like the rat who will walk across a shock pad time and time again to receive an instant organized versus turning toward the female rat in heat.

Gud 4y ago
I am not saying do things that make you feel good. I am saying that you have to learn to love yourself, despite your flaws. So with the realization that staying up all night and playing video games and eating garbage is bad for you, you decided to work out and take better care for yourself. I too had the same realization, because I realized It is the path to happiness. Personally I believe we have more agency than lab rats.

OkayPhysicist 4y ago

The problem is that it's easy (very easy) to get stuck in local maxima with regards to happiness. Once I'm in the flow of programming, it's definitely more fun than whatever fidget videogame I'm playing while watching Netflix. But getting started is significantly more work, so I procrastinate to the point of not doing it at all. Or like how having an athletic (and thus conventionally attractive) body type opens up far more oppurtunities for greater happiness than being more rotund, but achieving it requires an ongoing sacrifice of short-term gratification (eating less, working out). In a fantastic quote from Antony Bourdain: "I understand there's a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy."

Gud 4y ago
When you are watching Netflix while simultaneously playing video games you are most likely hiding from your problems. I used to do the same(still do sometimes), but these moments of joy are not happiness. They are a distraction from the suffering you are experiencing in real life. Just my 2 cents