6 ms·

I can't break out of my pattern of (attempted) short term mood regulation anymore. I'm just trying to distract myself getting high and watching historical docum

I can't break out of my pattern of (attempted) short term mood regulation anymore. I'm just trying to distract myself getting high and watching historical documentaries or netflix because I barely have motivation for anything more, yet something always triggers painful memories of my childhood and past years and I really can't cope. I hate being so alone but I couldn't stand acting like I'm okay anymore around people so I just end up not going to things and am even more alone. This has been going on for a few weeks now.

BobbyJo 4y ago
I've been there. The thing I fine that helps is just doing anything to disrupt the pattern. Go get your motorcycle license, join a gym, get a new wardrobe, paint your room, read a book, anything. If you can force yourself to do something other than what you're doing just once, it'll be easier to do something else the second, third, forth, etc. time. I find the more disruptive that first change is, the easier the rest become. Hope this helps.
lightbulbish 4y ago
Consistently getting high (weed) greatly increases dopamine baseline, leading to other things being “harder” to start doing. It also increases negative thoughts (anxiety). weed, alcohol and other substances can lead to negative loop where you consume to feel better and feel worse the day(s) after due to the consumption, leading to increased appetite. There are many ways out, you just have to find one that works for you. Previous poster’s suggestion are good. A psychologist can help. Detox. A trip to a new place. Late night hobbies with friends. Exercise is great.
blitz_skull 4y ago
A really easy start would be to listen to Andrew Huberman's work on Dopamine. Realize that you're stuck in a rut-—accept it. Then start racking up tiny wins. I mean infinitesimally small wins. Then slowly you will work your way out. Don't despair. Everyone goes through this from time-to-time.
sinoue 4y ago
You are self medicating and self isolating because you are suffering. Get help. You were meant to be apart of a community where you are loved and appreciated.
- hirvi74 4y ago
  I second getting help. Over the years, even up to the present time, I have tried to do all the right things like getting properly assessed, undergoing therapy, seeking proper medication, millions attempts to better myself, etc.. I'm still doing trying to do everything I listed above, but I have made little to no progress over the last decade, and in some ways, I feel that I have actually regressed. I have started to accept that I might be fundamentally broken beyond repair. I am not saying any of this to discourage anyone from getting proper help, I just think people should be aware that treatments are not a guarantee.
tarokun-io 4y ago
In my experience, self-medication is a symptom of the need of medication, in general. You just have to find the right medication. Avoid benzos if you can, though. They are extremely addictive. Depression, dysthymia, ADD, ADHD, AED, for example, aren't things you can just will yourself out of. People who have experienced profound sadness at some point in their lives tend to assume depression is the same. They will then advice (with good intentions) people who are depressed to do what they did, since it worked for them. Just change this or that habit. But it's not how it works in reality. Also, there's nothing wrong with being alone, and there's nothing wrong with feeling bad. Society pushes us to be at the top of our productivity at all times, which leads us to feel guilt when we need to rest. Mental health IS health, and it requires time, in the same way you'd need time in bed if you had a surgery or whatever. Finally, there's no end goal in life. Life is meaningless. No matter what you do, if you're enjoying yourself, it's good. If you watch TV all day everyday for the rest of your life — that's perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with it. It's YOUR life. Nobody can tell you how to live it.
- isolli 4y ago
  Benzos are addictive and destructive. https://www.benzo.org.uk/ https://www.benzo.org.uk/ https://www.asprescribedfilm.com/ https://www.asprescribedfilm.com/
  - halfnormalform 4y ago
    And they do a whole lot of good for some people!
    - isolli 4y ago
      Yes, but the conversation was in the context of self-medicating.
      - tarokun-io 4y ago
        I didn't mean benzos as self-medication, though. I went to see a psychiatrist once and he handed me benzos as if they were candies. Years after, I found out, when taken for years, they do permanent damage to the brain's ability to form long-term memories. Among other things. Fortunately, I didn't take them that long. But I had many friends in the same situation, taking benzos because their psychiatrist gave them to them just like that, without offering alternatives. To properly reword my advice: be careful with psychologists and psychiatrists. Not all of them are good, and not all of them have your best interest in mind.
mrleinad 4y ago
Motivation is s**. It won't last. Discipline is what you want. And you can build that no matter what. Just start small and go from there. [0] [0]https://i.pinimg.com/originals/55/34/a9/5534a9d2ac48a66cd341bbab4a699341.png https://i.pinimg.com/originals/55/34/a9/5534a9d2ac48a66cd341...
- aschearer 4y ago
  So you're saying that discipline is like a large, powerful, commanding force that demands action? Sounds awful. Like being a child being told to do their homework. Can't we do better? Also can you explain what's going on in the second panel? Some strong underpants gnomes vibes. I mean, I like how easy it is, but I can't seem to find the switch in the mirror!
  - mrleinad 4y ago
    > Can't we do better? If you find a better way, let me know. This is the best one I found, and it doesn't depend on me having a good day and everything being hunky dory. > I can't seem to find the switch in the mirror Tidy your room. Start small. Grow from there. Plan, iterate, improve. Whatever you add to the routine, have it stick by sheer force of will and repetition. Fuck your feelings. I mean that. Whatever your feelings tell you, tell them to fuck off. You have something to do and you're going to do it. Period.
    - aschearer 4y ago
      Personally, I've been fortunate insofar as I haven't struggled with motivation. I'm happy you found a system that works for you, but truthfully it sounds harsh. Maybe some people simply need a dominant super ego that runs roughshod over their feelings to get things done... but the idealist in me hopes for something less authoritarian. Like, the whole dichotomy of "you" versus "feelings" strikes me as problematic. Your language, and the comic, seem rife with guilt and shame.
      - mrleinad 4y ago
bpanon 4y ago
Try 20 minutes transcendental meditation a day and some form of exercise everyday (lift weights 3x a week) for 30 days. I’ll do it with you. https://youtu.be/IeRdy6LrOAI https://youtu.be/IeRdy6LrOAI
- TurkishPoptart 4y ago
  I'm biased against TM because you have to pay money to join in order to learn it. I am in favor of Vipassana (dhamma.org) because it's free.
tene 4y ago
I've struggled quite a bit with problems that feel similar to your description. This book is what helped me the most: https://www.carolynspring.com/shop/unshame-paperback/ https://www.carolynspring.com/shop/unshame-paperback/
feoren 4y ago
> This has been going on for a few weeks now. Wow. This one sentence really drives home how different human experiences can be. Being stuck in a destructive, painful, unproductive loop like this is awful and I'm sorry you're going through it, but wow, a few weeks!? It's jarring to consider the idea that it's not completely normal for this to be one's life for years and years on end.
- TurkishPoptart 4y ago
  I misread your message at first, I had thought you were astonished that someone's fallen off the productivity wagon, so to speak, for a few weeks. I've been dealing with similar stuff as the parent poster for probably half of my life, so decades. I feel like an unpatched human being, full of bugs. yes, I talk to a shrink, take the pills, stopped the addicting substance, and still struggle with self-destructive behavior, fleeting relationships, lack of romantic relationships for over 5 years, but other things have improved.
TurkishPoptart 4y ago
Learn about how cannabis feels good for ADHD due to dopamine release: https://hubermanlab.com/the-effects-of-cannabis-marijuana-on-the-brain-and-body/ https://hubermanlab.com/the-effects-of-cannabis-marijuana-on... There are ways to quit. Quitting will help. For starters I know there is a reddit /leaves/ group for this purpose.
- Swannie 4y ago
  However, in larger doses it also contributes towards feelings of anxiety, which is counter productive. Proceed with caution.
  - TurkishPoptart 4y ago
    Right, I should have clarified; it feels good/relieving in the short-term, but causes problems with these brain systems in the long-term.

BobbyJo 4y ago

I've been there. The thing I fine that helps is just doing anything to disrupt the pattern. Go get your motorcycle license, join a gym, get a new wardrobe, paint your room, read a book, anything. If you can force yourself to do something other than what you're doing just once, it'll be easier to do something else the second, third, forth, etc. time. I find the more disruptive that first change is, the easier the rest become. Hope this helps.

lightbulbish 4y ago

Consistently getting high (weed) greatly increases dopamine baseline, leading to other things being “harder” to start doing. It also increases negative thoughts (anxiety). weed, alcohol and other substances can lead to negative loop where you consume to feel better and feel worse the day(s) after due to the consumption, leading to increased appetite. There are many ways out, you just have to find one that works for you. Previous poster’s suggestion are good. A psychologist can help. Detox. A trip to a new place. Late night hobbies with friends. Exercise is great.

blitz_skull 4y ago

A really easy start would be to listen to Andrew Huberman's work on Dopamine. Realize that you're stuck in a rut-—accept it. Then start racking up tiny wins. I mean infinitesimally small wins. Then slowly you will work your way out. Don't despair. Everyone goes through this from time-to-time.

sinoue 4y ago

You are self medicating and self isolating because you are suffering. Get help. You were meant to be apart of a community where you are loved and appreciated.

hirvi74 4y ago
I second getting help. Over the years, even up to the present time, I have tried to do all the right things like getting properly assessed, undergoing therapy, seeking proper medication, millions attempts to better myself, etc.. I'm still doing trying to do everything I listed above, but I have made little to no progress over the last decade, and in some ways, I feel that I have actually regressed. I have started to accept that I might be fundamentally broken beyond repair. I am not saying any of this to discourage anyone from getting proper help, I just think people should be aware that treatments are not a guarantee.

tarokun-io 4y ago

In my experience, self-medication is a symptom of the need of medication, in general. You just have to find the right medication. Avoid benzos if you can, though. They are extremely addictive. Depression, dysthymia, ADD, ADHD, AED, for example, aren't things you can just will yourself out of. People who have experienced profound sadness at some point in their lives tend to assume depression is the same. They will then advice (with good intentions) people who are depressed to do what they did, since it worked for them. Just change this or that habit. But it's not how it works in reality. Also, there's nothing wrong with being alone, and there's nothing wrong with feeling bad. Society pushes us to be at the top of our productivity at all times, which leads us to feel guilt when we need to rest. Mental health IS health, and it requires time, in the same way you'd need time in bed if you had a surgery or whatever. Finally, there's no end goal in life. Life is meaningless. No matter what you do, if you're enjoying yourself, it's good. If you watch TV all day everyday for the rest of your life — that's perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with it. It's YOUR life. Nobody can tell you how to live it.

isolli 4y ago
Benzos are addictive and destructive. https://www.benzo.org.uk/ https://www.benzo.org.uk/ https://www.asprescribedfilm.com/ https://www.asprescribedfilm.com/
- halfnormalform 4y ago
  And they do a whole lot of good for some people!
  - isolli 4y ago
    Yes, but the conversation was in the context of self-medicating.
    - tarokun-io 4y ago
      I didn't mean benzos as self-medication, though. I went to see a psychiatrist once and he handed me benzos as if they were candies. Years after, I found out, when taken for years, they do permanent damage to the brain's ability to form long-term memories. Among other things. Fortunately, I didn't take them that long. But I had many friends in the same situation, taking benzos because their psychiatrist gave them to them just like that, without offering alternatives. To properly reword my advice: be careful with psychologists and psychiatrists. Not all of them are good, and not all of them have your best interest in mind.

mrleinad 4y ago

Motivation is s**. It won't last. Discipline is what you want. And you can build that no matter what. Just start small and go from there. [0] [0]https://i.pinimg.com/originals/55/34/a9/5534a9d2ac48a66cd341bbab4a699341.png https://i.pinimg.com/originals/55/34/a9/5534a9d2ac48a66cd341...

aschearer 4y ago
So you're saying that discipline is like a large, powerful, commanding force that demands action? Sounds awful. Like being a child being told to do their homework. Can't we do better? Also can you explain what's going on in the second panel? Some strong underpants gnomes vibes. I mean, I like how easy it is, but I can't seem to find the switch in the mirror!
- mrleinad 4y ago
  > Can't we do better? If you find a better way, let me know. This is the best one I found, and it doesn't depend on me having a good day and everything being hunky dory. > I can't seem to find the switch in the mirror Tidy your room. Start small. Grow from there. Plan, iterate, improve. Whatever you add to the routine, have it stick by sheer force of will and repetition. Fuck your feelings. I mean that. Whatever your feelings tell you, tell them to fuck off. You have something to do and you're going to do it. Period.
  - aschearer 4y ago
    Personally, I've been fortunate insofar as I haven't struggled with motivation. I'm happy you found a system that works for you, but truthfully it sounds harsh. Maybe some people simply need a dominant super ego that runs roughshod over their feelings to get things done... but the idealist in me hopes for something less authoritarian. Like, the whole dichotomy of "you" versus "feelings" strikes me as problematic. Your language, and the comic, seem rife with guilt and shame.
    - mrleinad 4y ago

bpanon 4y ago

Try 20 minutes transcendental meditation a day and some form of exercise everyday (lift weights 3x a week) for 30 days. I’ll do it with you. https://youtu.be/IeRdy6LrOAI https://youtu.be/IeRdy6LrOAI

TurkishPoptart 4y ago
I'm biased against TM because you have to pay money to join in order to learn it. I am in favor of Vipassana (dhamma.org) because it's free.

tene 4y ago

I've struggled quite a bit with problems that feel similar to your description. This book is what helped me the most: https://www.carolynspring.com/shop/unshame-paperback/ https://www.carolynspring.com/shop/unshame-paperback/

feoren 4y ago

> This has been going on for a few weeks now. Wow. This one sentence really drives home how different human experiences can be. Being stuck in a destructive, painful, unproductive loop like this is awful and I'm sorry you're going through it, but wow, a few weeks!? It's jarring to consider the idea that it's not completely normal for this to be one's life for years and years on end.

TurkishPoptart 4y ago
I misread your message at first, I had thought you were astonished that someone's fallen off the productivity wagon, so to speak, for a few weeks. I've been dealing with similar stuff as the parent poster for probably half of my life, so decades. I feel like an unpatched human being, full of bugs. yes, I talk to a shrink, take the pills, stopped the addicting substance, and still struggle with self-destructive behavior, fleeting relationships, lack of romantic relationships for over 5 years, but other things have improved.

TurkishPoptart 4y ago

Learn about how cannabis feels good for ADHD due to dopamine release: https://hubermanlab.com/the-effects-of-cannabis-marijuana-on-the-brain-and-body/ https://hubermanlab.com/the-effects-of-cannabis-marijuana-on... There are ways to quit. Quitting will help. For starters I know there is a reddit /leaves/ group for this purpose.

Swannie 4y ago
However, in larger doses it also contributes towards feelings of anxiety, which is counter productive. Proceed with caution.
- TurkishPoptart 4y ago
  Right, I should have clarified; it feels good/relieving in the short-term, but causes problems with these brain systems in the long-term.